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November 30, 2004

Pat Sajak?

Pat Sajak asks the question regarding Hollywood's silence on the Van Gogh murder:
"Is it just possible that there are those who are reluctant to criticize an act of terror because that might somehow align them with President Bush, who stubbornly clings to the notion that these are evil people who need to be defeated? Could the level of hatred for this President be so great that some people are against anything he is for, and for anything he is against?"

Nearing the final launch

I finally seem to have all my blogs finished. Just some code tweaking to do. I like the way my sites are looking and I look forward to filling them with lovely lovely content.
Bigwave I like that wikis and blogs are becoming prevalent. I like that people are using the internet to communicate and to share. All my sites are on free servers (except for the one important for others.) It's important and good. I wish that WordPress and Movable Type et al could all look at bit more different, some people make some startling attempts. In an age where the hottest selling apps create a "professional looking web site for you in minutes" I guess the individualism I seek will be in the content, always the content.

Now that most things are up and running I can just spend my free time babbling about most of the subjects I like to think about. JD's, Westerns, Chinese Cinema, Books & Art, and monsters. Which is just about all I do think about, except for surfing, but I don't have much to say about surf - it's something you are and something you do to make you what you are, what else can you say except "crashed out on a gnarly toad today. It was tres bitchen dude."

In my day to day life I spoke with my lawyer, spoke to a few friends and did laundry, paid bills, all on foot.
Preparing to go to work and dreading it. My only recompense is that the oner is more afraid of me than I of him.
He goes out of his way to make me miserable but step 1 is on Thursday.
I can wait.

November 28, 2004

Watching USC beat Notre Dame on a rainy night is like . . .

Johnnyunitas-Classicpasser Yesterdays USC-Notre Dame game had so much real drama and comedy for me it's taken this long to absorb it. I don't understand how you can be a movie or a book fan and not enjoy the real life contrived drama in sports. All I know is I love football and think it is the finest microcasm of life imaginable. It teaches what I think needs to be learned to survive and excel in this life.
Spent today having uninvited guests drop by. One is a witness for me in the hearing Thursday. He wanted to borrow money. I couldn't afford it but gave him half what he asked for. It was such a tiny amount it's embarrassing. Worse was the feeling i was being put in a "Position".
Spent some time breaking Movable Type and fixing it. I've started to enjoy getting "500" system misconfigured error messages. I must, I make sure I see them so often.
On"The Long Goodbye" I wrote a bit on Fantasy Writer Terry Pratchett. Trying to understand how one of the best selling writers in the world has managed to avoid the US market so completely.

There's no (little) action

Bad And The Beautiful, The (1953) I've gotten no comments here which I tried to let disturb me but it didn't. I am surprised and pleased somehow that there are so many blogs out there. I joined, or am thinking of joining a couple of promotion sites.
The little bit I have heard - well 2 friends I told about this blog on the phone - that little bit does require some explanation.
I like pictures. I think looking at just words is boring (As Lewis Carroll said, "Of what use is a book without pictures and conversations.") But these tiny little pictures are links to BIGGER pictures in a pop-up window so you can admire them or drag them to your desktop. I put up some desktops/wallpapers that I'd hope someone else likes. I use an app called ecto for posting to the blog. It's an excellent little app and helps me improve the look, does the maintenance etc. I'm on Macintosh.
I have a windows machine but I never turn it on. I dislike XP, I like OSX. My machine hasn't gone off in six months. And only then because there was the semi-annual update that required a restart. (I do agree that OSX is just a fine front-end to FreeBSD - and I think that's great.)

November 27, 2004

A Day Of Violence - It's peaceful in here

NeardarkwMy job - my joke - continues with all it's unbearable tightness. The court hearing on the 2nd will, at least, be a chance to have a small voice but will offer no solutions or resolutions. So seldom in life do we ever get solutions or resolutions. I think that really only happens in love.
I love foolishly with a puppy dog's unconditional eagerness. Sometimes that gets me into trouble or into some interesting times. Sometimes it's left me feeling flayed and betrayed but usually love leaves me feeling like a man, a man capable of manly things, capable of remaining a warrior while being gentle. Like a fool I've always preferred loving to being loved. It's sadness when I look around and see nothing worth loving - not even that puppy dog I was talking about.
It will pass I think.

No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away - until the clock he wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished it's ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone's life is only the core of their actual existence.
I think that it love is what makes the ripples.

November 26, 2004

I'm never overwhelmed by silence

Zenwaterfall Thanksgiving was quiet, nicely so. Went out for a few hours with Julio, who is not a friend but is a neighbor. We walked in the dark talking about nothing until we found a restaurant that was open; Lubys, a cafeteria. Inside there were maybe a dozen people eating to soft 80's music - mediocre 80's music - I never figured Blondie was going to end up as muzak.
We both got the "Thanksgiving Special at $7.50" it was actually OK, and the students - who - couldn't - go - home - for - the - holidays were pleasantly diverting to watch. All nice and quiet no drama stuff.
When we got up to pay Julio claimed he only had $5 so I took it and paid the balance. Walking back home we stopped at a Circle K and Julio miraculously produced $4 more to buy some 40's. I told you he wasn't a friend.
So at home I watched Jet Li's "Kiss Of The Dragon" checked my e-mail and telephone messages - answered neither and watched an SVCD of "Seed Of Chucky" I got from the net. It was poor but goofily watchable.
I hope Christmas is as non-traumatic as this.

November 25, 2004

Happy Thanksgiving

Jean Paul AvisseI'm part of that American generation that saw Thanksgiving as the first sign that Christmas was on the way. When my wife was alive Thanksgiving was the bartering chip that we used to decide how we'd spend Christmas. There aren't any Thanksgiving's locked traumatically or pleasurably in my memories. My step-father died the day after Thanksgiving. I wasn't home that year. I was meeting my girlfriend's family. I don't remember much about that dinner either except for everyone looking at and judging me. Other than that it's just a haze of meals and a cloud of people, faces - I remember the faces more than the meals. I remember my own desperate instinctive need that no one be alone on the day, so there were always characters around my dining table. Some of those characters became interesting or at least entertaining, friends. Now, well, now. I'm just alone. The pains abated some what: I'm thankful. I'm alive" I'm thankful. I still feel happy. Awfully thankful for that. There's a nice desktop/wallpaper under the thumbnail up there.



November 24, 2004

What do you know - I did something

I've set up an index page and a short url - http://muchnessofme.alone.at and a preliminary wiki . . .
I've also set up a links column in the menu to the right.
And somehow I think this is an accomplishment . . .

November 23, 2004

I got all yer emotions: Fear AND loathing

Tcmt-1A Today I managed to accomplish so little it is almost remarkable. I fretted, I ached, I made a favicon.ico for the blog (hopefully you can see it above in your browser url bar) I had no thoughts at all worth thinking except >*eep* I'm out of painkilers! Which is not a good thing to be. I did think about a couple of idle things like Thanksgiving and how I'd be alone for the day, which does not bother me, and about how I hoped I wouldn't be up all night.

November 22, 2004

At least one issue resolved

Blade Trinity Ver4 I've settled on Movable Type. More for the interface it has with ecto then with any shortcomings in WordPress. I also like the sleek look of the page and the ease of it's handling graphics.
I have another site up dedicated to Spaghetti Westerns and to Chinese Cinema. You have to understand and see the site. But you can't. It's been down for over a week because of the FBI.
Someone had set up a site to steal credit cards and eBay info. The assumption was it was done to fund terrorists?? I personally go more for the greedy bastard line but what do I know compared to the FBI. Didn't we have the same sort of crime before 9/11?
Anyway the server came up finally and because of the way the way it had to be "ungracefully" shut down the sysops decided to recompile Apache. The end result is that I still can't access my site properly because all the permissions have been screwed up. It was a nice site too. Hopefully I can figure it all out eventually.Kung Fu Cowboys if the site eve gets fixed you might want to take a look at it. It will pleasantly pass time I think.
My health deteriorates. On a wet mucky day I was in bad pain. The Bells Palsy coming on hard. I can't eat because my left jaw (!) won't quite work and food falls out. I'm alone and I don't know why that bothers me but it does. The pain is annoying and, well, painful.

Feeling it

Blface Can't sleep, stress and PAIN!! and that kind of stuff always fills you with self doubt and more than a hint of loneliness.
Like I'm wondering now if anyone will ever read this stuff, and if they do if they'll react. Which makes me wonder if I'll do or think of anything worth reacting to.
I've sure had enough of drama in my life but fights and wars always seem to be there waiting. For every great guy there's always a disconsolate asshole. My crappy job is like that. My boss is an idiot jerk. He's been busted for not paying the proper withholding tax, FUTA FICA and SUTA but nothings going to happen except they're going to watch him real close now, which is so stupid. And I have to go to court on Dec 2nd to try and get my money. I need to sleep, job interviews and I need a haircut badly. I feel terrible and can't concentrate or do anything much more than fret.
At least no one is calling Bill Parcells a Messiah or a genius now.

November 21, 2004


Blindman-1B As I play with Movable Type I'm growing fonder of it. I can make some changes via css and the changes should be enough.
Later on, when I find a suitable graphic, I might try and bind it to the page either in the banner (the red thing up top) or as a non scrolling page background. those are enough limitless possibilities for me!
I'm going to play with WordPress a bit more to make a fair evaluation. I suspect that I'll fall in love with both depending on which one I use last.I LOVE the way Movable Type does graphics! I'm going to try and write a js to do the same thing in WordPress. By the way - that's Ringo Starr in a spaghetti western called "Blindman."

Making Decisions

I've installed both WordPress and Movable Type. There are arguments for both of them and I don't have any arguments about either of them! The only major difference is that with Movable Type it is easier to maintain the blog with Ecto. I can even write my blog and upload graphics right from the desktop!

Dragonchronicles Like this. With WordPress i have to upload it with ftp. (I know there are other methods but none seem to function well on this free server) It might seem silly to some but it's a hard decision for me!