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January 31, 2005

Good evening I love you I do

HulksadI exceeded my bandwidth, yet again, so I was offline for a couple of days. My life is dull but I enjoy it and I missed writing it up every day. It put a period on my thoughts. I might go for one of those paid servers. I found one that's suitable for like $40 a year, but that's the future.

I got really ill again. I still can't swallow without pain and choking so I hadn't been drinking or eating enough, so I dehydrated. Nothing that serious.
There were things that got me thinking. I have several scars on my body form sports, and the doctor on seeing me said, “You're certainly not one of life's spectators," which confused me.
I asked her about it and she said she just meant that I was in good shape and the scars showed that I certainly got involved in life. I guess that's true.

Invisible ManThe same way I gave up drugs and alcohol I gave up hitting people. It was harder to stop hitting people, especially when most of my life I'd been praised and rewarded for inflicting punishment. As pugnacious as I was I never once hit an animal, or a child or a woman or anyone smaller than me, except for those two times when the little guys wouldn't just back off. Then I was thinking about Isaac Azimov. He's this SciFi guy who wrote the 3 laws of Robotics. The first one was that a Robot could never harm a human being. The second was that a robot through inaction could not allow a human to come to harm. I just this second realized they made a mediocre Will Smith movie of this book. . .

Anyway, I keep thinking if these things can be imagined being ingrained in machines why can't these things be part of human nature.
Why is there still so much racism and rage? Why are children ever at risk. Why can't a lost child go to anyone and safely ask for help? I see the damage that adult cruelty inflicts with fist, knife, and words. There is no compassion or empathy great enough to make it better.
The cruelest bitch I've ever known did not deserve to be raped. Nor did she deserve the humiliation of the trial and the nasty questions and the frank admissions she was forced to make.

Robot Monster (2)I like people but sometimes I hate humanity.

At least I got to see Paulie, the fat yellow dog, and Chow tonight.
They either didn't remember that I wasn't there last night or they forgave me that easily.
We went to our lot and Dana met us. She was worried that I wasn't there last night and wasn't answering my phone.
I apologized and then watched two dogs have the time of their lives. They are doing something in this lot - it really isn't our private playground - as they dug a big hole, which means there's a big pile of dirt for dogs to fight for. (The hole is misshapen and serves no purpose that I can see) Chow strolled up to the top and lay down. he didn't mind that Ethel, my dog and fat yellow dog wrestled all around and over him as they fought to stand on Chow and be the tallest dog in the universe.
It was stupid. It was more fun to watch than that “I Robot" Movie.
Frosty Paws are a healthy for dogs dixie cup style ice cream. When it waas time to go home one of the dogs suggested that it was the custom that the winners of an important contest deserve prizes. That not giving prizes might be illegal like biting the mailman. Even Chow nodded his head to this. So I succumbed, rather than be haunted forever by the dog police. It was agreed I give the best prizes . . .

January 28, 2005

Desperate Angels

Plan 9 From Outer Space Did my grocery shopping and there was a special on Frosty Paws, which became an important purchase as you'll see. I brought groceries for two weeks as with my short paycheck next week, after I pay the rent, I'll have exactly $1 left over. . . Ethel, my dog, and I were walking home when a woman said to me, “Oh my! What a pretty dog! Oh! How can you carry all those heavy bags?! Oh, can I help you?”
Ethel didn't seem to care for her as she barely let herself be petted, and gave her a look that haughtily said, “I know I is beautiful. We needs no help cause we is very strong.”
After work we went and got Paulie, who I still think of as “Little Fat Yellow Dog,” and Chow. They were excited to see us although Chow kept his same slow personable gait and demeanor. Dana was waiting for us and we had a lot of fun until it was nearing time to go home then Paulie said, “I is so very hot and tired, I think I needs to have a Frosty Paws if I going to get home. Without a Frosty Paws I might could die.” This seemed to cue Chow who stood up and seemed to have a sore foot, which said “I have walked very far I think maybe a Frosty Paws is what I need to makes my foot better. They is very good for sore feets, you know.”
AngelsEthel clinched it by just demanding her treat. I did have 3 Frosty Paws with me but planned to give them out later. I relented. Not only did it effectively cure Chow's sore foot but Dana couldn't believe that the dogs all looked orgasmic. Paulie squinched his eyes shut and just licked his Frosty Paws as if he were in heaven. Ethel's eyes get crossed as she tries to see how close she is to the bottom. Chow just eats but with a discernible placid pleasure.
Walking back with Dana was interesting. While she was talking to me I suddenly had a vivid memory of the second love of my life, my Beautiful Amazon (She was 6'2“ 140 lb. and an Olympian - she was a lawyer and militantly gay with long blonde hair and Chanel Suits - we were friends for a number of years, even when my wife was alive.) One night at the beach we were running the dogs when she grabbed my face in both her hands. She knew that if you don't keep my attention focused that I will get distracted and have absolutely no concept of what you were talking about, even mid-sentence.
Amazonsattack!I loved her but just assumed she was gay, so I never allowed myself too many fantasies.
She said, ”I call you from work 2 or 3 times a day. I meet you every evening and we spend 5 or 6 hours walking the dogs. I spend ten or 12 hours with you every Saturday and every Sunday. That's been my schedule for the last 6 or 7 months. And you; you don't have a clue that I'm in love with you. Do you?“
She was right. I didn't have a clue.
I'm afraid Dana might be feeling something similar. I'm growing fonder of her as a friend. . . Hopefully it's just my arrogant ego.

January 27, 2005

Tear it up

Son Of Kong It felt good to get back to work, although Ethel was mad at me, or sad, I'm not sure which. The only negative about work was everyone complaining about the short paychecks were due. Everyone will be broke next week, no one even to borrow from. We all discussed our plans to survive this untoward event and cursed our employers who so callously shut us out. But I still enjoyed being at work doing my pleasantly monotonous job.
Whatever resentment Ethel, my dog, had towards me was rapidly forgotten when we picked up the fat yellow dog, who's real name is “Paulie" and the big red chow who's name is “Chow" . . . They had to wear their sweaters which was a bit embarrassing for me but they didn't seem to mind.
Queen Of Outer SpaceFor a dog who will not leave his yard Paulie was very energetic and seemed to be in a contest with Ethel as to who could pull ahead the hardest in an obvious contest to rip my arm off. The big Chow just gallumphed calmly by my side.
Dana was waiting for us at the lot. We would have surprised her coming from another direction (She was staring at where we normally appear) except Ethel, even without barking, made a tremendous amount of racket. I took their leashes off and Ethel and Paulie took off like maniacs. Ethel lapped Paulie several times and still had the time to come over and greet Dana. Chow watched the two dogs take off stepped up, woofed deep in his chest and then came over and laid at my feet.
Dana thought the two new dogs were mine as well. I wanted to tease her but I'm not very good at that so I just told her the story.
When Paulie got exhausted (he is WAY too fat) he came over and climbed on Chow's back and panted.
To her disgrace Dana thought their doggie sweaters were adorable.
I had a surprise for all the dogs - FROSTY PAWS! Ethel doesn't know it but this is her only treat for two weeks. Dogs will do anything for Frosty Paws. The odd thing was Chow just plumped down and licked his to death. Paulie ate his on Chow's back and Ethel licked and chased hers all over the lot. When they were finished they all looked at me with a new sense of wonder and respect.

Take it inside

Haiku Back to work today! Ethel isn't happy about it but she will be when it comes time for hamburgers . . . I realize that she started to get sad when she smelled my aftershave . . . . still cheered up by our walk AND we got to meet the fat little yellow dogs owner. She's a LOL (little old lady). When I told her little yellow dog was too FAT she agreed. Now I get to take him and the chow on our walks of the evening! We are going to look like a street gang!
The LOL asked me if Ethel had all her shots. I liked that.

Wet

Audrey1 No word on whether I'll be working today. This is worse than being unemployed.
It rained yesterday. I like walking Ethel, my dog, while I carry an umbrella. Dana met us in a pancho, which shows good common sense.
Ethel invented a new trick. At first I saw her do it and was surprised, thinking it was an accident, then she came running up to me to make sure she had my attention and did it again: She started running to get up to full speed and then she leaped into the air and torqued her body sideways so that she landed in a large puddle and sorted of skidded across it like skipping a stone on a pond.
She came back to make sure we'd seen her and to help her rub some of the caked mud out of her eye. She did it twice more. She did make some interesting waves.
It wasn't raining hard enough to clean the mud off of her so I had to give her a bath. Interesting that she likes to dive into filthy, cold puddles but finds nice clean water something of a pain.

January 26, 2005

Life What Is It But A Dream

CurtainJanuary 27 is the 173rd Birthday of Charles Dodgson aka Lewis Carroll.
I love the works of Lewis Carroll. Personally I find his life an inspiration and a guiding light.
That said the hardest thing for me to deal with and accept was that Dodgson was a pedophile. The signs are everywhere but in my youth I chose to ignore them and believe that this man operated on a higher plane where love could exist purely for it's own sake.
That accepted it most be noted that Dodgson died as a virgin. While he spent many nights wrestling with what he called his demons there is no indication that he ever harmed a child or entered into any inappropriate relationship.
He controlled his impulses and tried to force his love into the higher plane I imagined.
This self control adds to his pleasant legend.
Not only did he write two still relevant and amusing classic books. (Alice in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass and What Alice Found There) he was then and is generally accepted now as one of the pioneers of portrait photography. He took wonderful portraits of children, of course, but also definitive portraits of Alfred Tennyson, the Rosetti's, and even members of the Royal Family.
Cld2He was a mathematician. His work devoted to Symbolic Logic. Now that work is being generally accepted. In his lifetime his work was generally ignored. The seriousness of it not helped by Dodgson's propensity for turning it into a game for children. Even in his serious texts on the subject he would use examples like this:
1.Puppies, that will not lie still, are always grateful for the loan of a skipping-rope;
2.A lame puppy would not say “thank you” if you offered to lend it a skipping-rope;
3.None but lame puppies ever care to do worsted-work.
(the logical answer here is that puppies that will not lie still never care to do worsted work)
1.Babies are illogical;
2.Nobody is despised who can manage a crocodile;
3.Illogical persons are despised.
(the logical answer is that babies cannot manage crocodiles)
Dodgson also wrote titles such as “A Syllabus of Plane Algebraical Geometry” and “An Elementary Treatise on Determinants.”
While doing prodigious work Dodgson also was a deacon in the church. He did not take priestly orders as he did not feel worthy, perhaps referring to his demons.
Cld6He stuttered badly but still would compose and deliver sermons at Oxford. One of his most telling moments is in his carefully cataloged series of letters (Number over 17000!) was one sent to an unnamed agnostic. In this letter Dodgson painstakingly proves via symbolic and standard logic that God exists!
There was much to love and ponder over the man. I can easily recommend Morton Cohen's edition of “The Letters Of Lewis Carroll”. You will be amazed at the giants of the age that Dodgson interacted with on a daily basis. For me I was always startled about his relationship with James Legge, the man who translated the I Ching.
It takes a more devout fan to read the diaries. They are of more than passing interest but do require a lot more commitment.

Save my pennies

Dream Catcher Yet another day with 3 calls telling me that there's no work. Ethel, my dog, is thrilled. Yesterday we walked and played so much that when we came home she drank some water and then climbed onto my bed and fell deep asleep. When I wanted to go to bed I had to push her out of the way, and being pushed she never woke up.
The sleep did her good because when I was in the shower I kept seeing her poke her head around the door and peeking in. As I stepped out of the shower she looked at me and then turn around and ran away so fast she thumped into things. She'd been preparing another joke.
Reptilicus (3)Dogs have weird senses of humor. My last dog thought it was funny to hide my glasses every morning. Being a dumb dog she always hid them either in her toy box or right out in the open. When I'd say, “Where are my glasses?” she'd look all amazed and do the most agonizedly phony “hunt”. As soon as I'd get close to my glasses she'd run past me and grab them in her mouth and dance all over the place. Normally very obedient she'd never just come and give me my glasses. I started every day with a mad chase.
Today I missed that stupid humor. Ethel's great joke was to pull the comforter and sheets from the bed and then pile my clothes in the middle. When I came in the room she ran at me then leaped all over the place in play mode throwing my clothes all over the place.
I'm terribly afraid I don't get the joke. I think she's very disappointed in me.
Paycheck tomorrow. Next week is going to be difficult. If I don't work tomorrow I'm starting another job hunt.

January 25, 2005

Two hangmen hanging from a tree, that don't bother me at all
Mason Proffitt

The Lost Gardens 1600 One good reason for working is it keeps me from answering phone calls. Some of my friends understand but most don't. I miss a lot of things about Southern California, I have for years. I miss seeing the never ending changes and I miss the surf. Yow! I really miss the surf.
I miss sitting out on my board and waiting for sets. I miss sitting out there with friends. I miss sitting out there alone.
I miss the mountains and the high desert. I miss the music and skies filled with more stars than I had hopes.
But right now life feels thin but it feels like life. I feel something instead of the overwhelming numbness. I like Europe and what I accomplished there but I didn't feel alive.
I do now. And a dog found me and we take walks and take care of each other.
Hulk5 It feels grim at times and hopeless, but for a lot of years the losses have made me feel like an automaton. I had a comfortable life that insulated me from feeling much of anything. Anything. Something is better than nothing.
So I'm okay. Stop using up my bandwidth just to see how I'm doing. I'm doing fine. Send me more email. I like email and I like text messages. Those are great too. I have a nice dog with a stupid sense of humor. I get to meet people and, sometimes, I get to work. I can't think of much more I want that I don't already have. That doesn't include as many friends as I can get.
Look, if you read the newspaper and you don't see a story that says I was killed by a rampaging crocodile or a blown up by a disgruntled postal worker you should lean back in your chair, put your feet up, clasp your hands over your chest and say, “Well, at least David is having a great day."

I'll share all my diamonds with you

Morning They called me 3 times to finally tell me that there was no work. No one is happy about this except Ethel who is a dog who thinks putting dirty laundry on me is the epitome of humor. She'll feel differently next week when she runs out of food! I hope I get to work tomorrow. Their IT's have to be even worse than I imagined. This much time to fix a simple LAN smells of trial and error trouble shooting.
Oh, well. At least I have a dog to play with and plenty of phone calls to ignore.

Just relaxed and paying attemtion

Fender Pick Ups I was awakened this morning with my head covered with dirty clothes. As I pulled them from my face I saw Ethel, my dog, pulling a pair of dirty jeans across the floor, obviously intending to add them to the pile on my head. When she saw I was awake she ran over to laugh. Why me being covered with dirty clothes is funny, I have no idea. That it is to her is clear.
Being awake I checked my email. Again my bandwidth for this blog is nearly used up! I have a gig a month but clearly need 1.2 gig. So if this blog suddenly disappears you'll no why. It will be back.
I got a call from work telling me that they'll know by 11:00 whether I should come in today. I was surprised that they would call me at 8:00 AM to tell me they didn't know what was happening. Their IT's are only confirming what I thought I knew: They're pretty inept. At least work is trying to keep me up to date and seem concerned that I might leave . . . I guess.

January 24, 2005

To be the man you have to beat the man

Moonlight Tonight Dana took me to meet her friend, Toni. It wasn't what I expected but what good would life be if everything were what we expected.
At the apartment there were a lot of people. I gather 3 girls rented the house and the 3 guys were their boyfriends, who just sort of hung out there.
First thing that happened was all the women went into the kitchen to talk around the kitchen table. They all cooed and awed over Ethel, who took it good naturedly, especially when they gave her some meat. Soon it was apparent that it was expected that I'd go off and join the guys in the living room. Ethel and I went and found the guys deeply absorbed in wrestling, or rasslin'.
When I was a kid I liked wrestling. Dick the Bruiser and The Crusher were my idols and I loved it when they wrestled Mad Dog Vachon, Verne Gagne, Wilbur Snyder, Ernie “The Big Cat” Ladd and the nefarious Mr Fuji. The wrestling show was on one of the UHF channels late Saturday afternoons, about an hour before dinner so I never missed it. I liked the wrestling records too: The Nova's “The Crusher” was one favorite and Freddie Blassie's tune “Pencil Necked Geeks” was another. I still own those 45's.
Rainbow FlowI liked the yelling best, those little minutes after the match when the wrestler would come out and dispense wisdom or explain why they hated their opponents. It was quick and fun.
The WWE is not so much fun, though the guys are bigger, a couple seemed so obviously on steroids it was frightening. I remembered that The Rock, who I like, came from the WWE.
There was way too much talking in the WWE. Too much of it seemed liked heated teen age boy soap opera. I didn't like the violence against a woman. It was presented in a villainous light but it was HHH, who is the world champion, doing the threatening.
I didn't care for the blind Nationalism and racist hatred. I think it was there when I liked wrestling too, which means we've made no progress as a race in “sports entertainment”. Except it's a lot more soap opera-ish now. I was stunned the show lasted TWO HOURS!
The guys were deep entranced in this. They were friendly and kept offering me a 40 ounce beer and chips. They were dead quiet until the commercials when they would discuss the previous match or wrestler's diatribe while yelling for another 40 or more chips.
It was different and made me miss being at work.
PapabearAfter wrestling it appeared the girls were required and had to stop their conversation. Dana and I left. While we were walking her mother called on her mobile and it was obvious they had a fight. Dana was upset and that, interestingly, upset Ethel too. We walked some and I let Dana core dump. It was a sad story. One thing though is I never get involved between a woman and her mother, so I just listened, which was probably the best thing to do. Just because I have an opinion doesn't make it right nor does it mean I have to say it.
So Dana calmed down and gave me a nice big hug. Ethel and I came home while she pointed out that we had forgotten to get the dog her hamburger. ANd I got an email from a friend in NYC. It there to the left and shows George Halas celebrating an NFL Championship. That's my father holding up his right knee.

Dreaming of the time

She-Hulkworking Work called me and told me not to come in . . . I asked if the job was finished and they got panic-y. They said the network was down and they needed the day to fix it (I pointed out Windows sucks). I asked if I got paid and they said no so I got panic-y.
I like going to work. Ethel, my dog, thinks this is better, as she and I need to talk about her diet. She didn't mind Science Diet and NutroMax is very delicious but . . . I hate having long talks with my dog. It's always about food.
So we went out for a short walk and ran into Dana. We're meeting to go for a walk and to get coffee, and yes, McDonalds for Ethel.

Gibson Goes Digital

Gibson Les Paul DIGITAL

Les Paul guitar with a built in Ethernet port. The mind boggles.
“It has always been my passion and desire to take creativity and musical expression to a new level, to give musicians a bigger canvas on which to paint, without detracting from the intimate connection between the musician and the instrument," said Henry Juszkiewicz, chairman and CEO of Gibson Guitar Corp. YOW!! Analog and digital pick ups. For the first time you can use a guitar for midi triggers and and . . .

January 23, 2005

When predicting the future makes sure it's predictable

Belleetbete X01T03 Only got to see 3 quarters of the Eagles - Falcons, but it was obvious I had it right and the outcome was stamped 10 minutes into the 1st quarter. Then Dana came over and we went to Fellini's, which is not a bowling alley but a coffee shop! They have a nice big HD screen and it seems that they show DVD's of some pretty interesting foreign films for FREE! Dana and I will go see a few.
It was a closed invitation only party, so we were greeted at the door by a fat Lab wearing a bandana. Ethel, my dog, and the Lab started playing right away. The Lab was the owner Pete's dog. It was an interesting crowd, only about 50 people but it was nifty. I liked that there wasn't much alcohol flowing freely. You could bring your own but none was served. I had TWO cafe au lait's with skim milk. And there was food. I had rumaki (Dumped the bacon first) some cellophane noodles with mushrooms, and there were great free foods, crudites for me and fried chicken balls and unbreaded chicken strips for the dogs. Everytime Ethel ate something I got the old desperate “What other delicious treat have you been hiding from me?" look. Tugofwar I thought the New England - Pittsburgh game was very beautiful even if it went the way I thought it would. There were moments of incredible beauty. The crowd at Fellini's was appreciative of some of it but when NE got 2 TD's up they started to wander. At our table it was a draw between Ethel and Dana as to who covered up their boredom the best. At least for Ethel there were 4 other dogs and when they got to playing she would jump in gamely. Then she would come running to me so I could see her do something I couldn't figure out.
For everything the cost was less than I had so I felt pretty good.
I met a lot of people and was most surprised by how many gothed out chicks were there with pretty normal looking guys. Still, think I made a couple of friends male and female. The owner invited Ethel and I back for the SuperBowl which he said will be pretty much the same, maybe a few more people. I told him I liked his coffee and he gave me one to go for free. I like free. And he gave Ethel a huge chicken strip which she carried all the way home!Santo Vs Doctor Death Again a boring day that I found quite lovely. Anytime nothing bad happens to me I feel good and happy. Of course Ethel explains it as “Of course you is happy cos I am your dog!" Dogs hoave horrible grammar. Dana was nice company. I was surprised only by how many people she told about me, and by the number who knew of me as a coach. They all seemed nice, as nice as I assume they are. I never knew there'd be an artsy crowd here. I like that there is. In a smaller way it reminded me of Gorky's in downtown LA, before it got popular and was just a nice place to hang out.

January 22, 2005

I need a new pair of shoes from walking all of these blues

Hunchback Of Notre Dame4Xs Having a day off made me feel like a real person. Ethel, my dog, went for a long walk. We stopped to visit fat yellow dog but he wasn't in his yard. We heard him bark and went around to the alley. He was there. It was chilly out and he was wearing a bright red hand knitted sweater. It seems he has a roomie. There was an old red chow. The chow was wearing a hand knitted blue sweater. What made it a memorable scene was that the chow was sleeping on his belly while fat yellow dog was sleeping on the chow's back. When we got close fat yellow dog stood up and barked a hello, he never got off the chow's back. The chow woke up looked at us and then went back to sleep.Pavingstones Later on our walk we met two kids, Pancho and Maria. They played with Ethel who proved that she can run faster than two laughing children. They offered me a bite of their sandwich (I love kids but NEVER eat anything given to you by anyone under 7. Once a kid offered me a jaw breaker. He took it, unwrapped, out of his pocket, he brushed off the lint and then dropped it in a puddle. He dried it on his shirt sleeve - that doubled as his handkerchief, sneezed on it and then offered it to me with a smile. I accepted it and put it in my pocket . . . )
We went up to the mountains and Ethel hunted. I have no idea what she was hunting, but she did not flag in her intensity.
Then we went grocery shopping. I had to leave her outside with a large german shepherd. Leaving her alone did neither of us any good. I went back to check on her about every two minutes and she whined softly but to me it sounded like howling. The shepherd wanted to play but Ethel had to fret.

Barbarella - Queen Of The Galaxy I have 22.87 left to my name, but I've repaid all the money I owe and I hope this enough for us to go to this place for the games tomorrow. It should be. I ate olives today. I like olives even if they are the fattiest most sodium laced food going. I had 6. I'm an addict and couldn't help myself.
Dana is still excited about me going someplace with her. I guess some of her friends will be there and she wants them to meet us. I can deal with that. I like people.
Another happy undramatic day, where my biggest issue was why do they make sidewalks that end for 50 yards and then resume. Fortunately I don't mind walking in dirt.

January 21, 2005

What can I say dear

Flash Gordon Conquers The Universe During our afternoon walk Ethel, may dog, and I found the fat little yellow dog again. The two of them talked a bit and then played their game of running back and forth. I'm fascinated that the little yellow dog just will not leave his yard no matter how provoked. (And Ethel was as provocative as a puppy can be.)
At work this evening the main conversation was about the 3 people that they fired today. I don't like people being fired. The second topic was "how did I put up with the cute blonde girl babbling at me." I guess everyone was eavesdropping and they were as amazed as I was at just how dull the conversation/monlogue actually was. This topic bored me because I wanted to talk football.
I think that if Atlanta can run Duckett and Dunn between the tackles that will pull Kearse off the edge and open up the field for Vick. The Philly linebackers can run with Crumpler and the other tight ends and the Eagles secondary can cope with the Falcon receivers. So Atlanta needs the middle to let Vick do his magic on the outside, bootlegs and play actions. If Philly stuffs the run it will be a win for them. Atlanta will have to widen their gaps (they already play the widest gaps I've ever seen in Pro Ball) and that will open up lanes for delayed blitzes that will harm Atlanta's O. McNabb is impressive and will not crumble like he has in the past. The Atlanta D is good but McNabb is on a mission.Terrellowens On the NE Steelers game, Ted Bruschi is a big time LB even without Seymour. Brady does not know how to lose the big games. Dillon has lived his whole life for this moment. I respect Bettis as a great RB but Rothlesberger does not impress me as one of the greatest QB's off all time. He's had the greatest rookie season ever but this is the game that makes or breaks legends. It's a dream game. It will be fun and so loaded with intangibles that the drama will be as magnificent as a Fassbinder film.
Ethel, Dana and I took our evening frolic. I got to buy the coffee, which pleased me. Dana brought Ethel a McDonalds hamburger. That's all Ethel has gone on about, how I starve her and deprive her of wonderful treats like hamburgers but they should not have pickles on them.

January 20, 2005

To live outside the law you must be honest (Bob Dylan)

Citystreet I realized how dull I've become when I got my paycheck and all I could think about was buying groceries and new razor blades . . . and dog food, must NEVER forget the dog food.
We went looking for the fat yellow dog we met yesterday but he was nowhere to be found. Ethel even put four paws on his yard but he didn't come out to defend his turf. I hope he's okay.
We just ambled the streets some and then I went to work. There's a very pretty girl there who, for whatever reason, came to talk to me today. I forget that people get curious about me. Sadly as pretty as she is it was one of the dullest conversations I've ever been victim to. She just wanted to talk about her mothers job for the school district and some pension plan called 403B which is the educators' version of a 401K. There's more to it but the voice in my head screaming SHUT UP drowned out whatever else she was saying. Creatures The World ForgotHow do people expect to find out anything about me if all they do is prattle at me? I like to listen and I don't find many things uninteresting but this conversation was so filled with numbers and facts I was bewildered. It was also rapidly obvious that I wasn't expected to participate only to absorb. If I was younger I'd have kissed her and then asked her what it was she wanted from me.
So then, tonight Ethel and I met up with Dana. The 3 of us are going to some bowling alley (I think) to see the games Sunday. They let dogs in so you know it's a very classy place. I try and tell Ethel that in Europe there aren't many places I couldn't take her. She's totally uninterested - keeps pointing out that we're not in Europe. Dana was excited that we're going someplace together. I think that's odd but only because I don't understand it.

January 19, 2005

I used to be pretty but now I'm just pretty f*d up
Eddie Spaghetti

Batman Vs Mr Freeze Before work I took Ethel out for her evening walk. We passed a house that had an unleashed fat little yellow dog guarding it. It was some sort of Chihuahua mix that made a terrible racket as we got close. Ethel asked it, “Why you making so much noise?"
The fat yellow dog said, “I'm guarding this place and I don't know how else to do it!"
“That's dumb, you should play with me!" said Ethel.
And the fat yellow dog said “Okay, but I can't leave my yard!"
So the two of them ran back and forth like maniacs but the unleashed fat yellow dog never set a paw off the grass of his yard, no matter how much Ethel tempted him he stayed true to his chore. It felt right and filled me with contentment.
He was panting hard but the fat yellow dog thanked me for playing with him and thanked Ethel by kissing her face. She didn't like that.
It set me into a reverie and made me think about things I haven't had time to think of for a long while.
Robot Monster I used to have a girl friend in Europe. She was a cat walk model, even got the occasional magazine spread. She was 6'2“ and 38 D, and they pointed up! I describe her intimately because we never liked each other much, we just had the best sex of each of our lives. The only conversation we ever had was pillow talk, and only a fool sees pillow talk as something more than it is. She and I always had issues. We didn't agree on much. The issues got far worse when ever one of us got "brood-ish“ or felt like nesting. Fortunately neither of us ever felt that way at the same time or we might have been in one of those relationships that only get resolved with ice picks or small caliber weapons at close range.
Still we saw each other off and on for nearly 3 years. When I got sick and diagnosed I went to see her. Don't really know why, but I did. And afterwards I told her I was ill and at first she was quiet and then she kissed me and then she said something I'll never forget: "Your stomach's flat and your dick gets hard. You're okay.“
It might sound stupid, trite or whatever, but I thought it was a nice thing to say, because I think she was and is right. Maybe it's because I'm from LA.
We didn't like each other very much, except in bed. We didn't agree about many things. But she was right that looking for reasons to feel bad is easy. Being too busy to feel good is the lie we tell ourselves. Things are simple and pleasure is there whether we acknowledge it or not.Yakaguichi
Saw Dana again tonight. I was quiet. So was she. I'm very comfortable being quiet with people. I enjoy just being with them sometimes. I don't need to fill it with chatter. I asked if she was okay and she said she felt very good. Ethel made her laugh, I'm sure it was Ethel because my dog does act like a fool and I, of course, am always the picture of decorum.
The most addictive drugs are the ones that are intermittingly pleasurable.
"Sometimes it is harder to deprive oneself of a pain than of a pleasure."
    F Scott Fitzgerald

January 18, 2005

With pictures and words you soon will have a dollar

Ironwallsinthetaihangmountains I wore a suit to my deposition and Ethel, my dog, wore her collar. My legal aid lawyer wore a black pants suit, that didn't flatter her but did make her look intimidating I guess. The site was real close to where I work so that made it a bit more interesting. What I hadn't counted on was, on our arrival, knowing almost all the people there from LA . . . including the lead attorney, who I went to school with. (he epitomized the old school saying: He was the nicest guy in the world and then he passed the bar.)
It was a minor non-event. I don't know anything but I was the only one (or one of the few, I'm not quite sure here) who didn't have a “corporate identity” or a veil.
I think they were just impressed with Ethel and we're acting out of respect to her. My lawyer thought they were a bit afraid of me. Which is mostly foolishness. I did steal all of their Equal Packets and 10 of those little French Vanilla flavored creamers. Grand Hotel So work was okay. As usual I was responsible for 15 percent of the output - there are 24 of us . . .
Rushed home so I could beat up my dog. She likes walking but prefers cavorting. Dana met us. This pleased me. While we were mucking about she did something that startled me. She inadvertently pushed one of my buttons.
One of the most shocking moments in my life was with my second girlfriend. We were sitting in LAX, the day after Christmas. We were flying off to go skiing. For some reason she took my hand and sang Jim Croce's “Time in a Bottle” to me. She sang in a low, husky voice. I was deeply moved. While she sang I didn't even think about the fact that I don't like Jim Croce songs . . .
For some reason Dana chose tonight to sing me a song. I got so wrapped up in memories. I tried to focus. She sang me that Shakira Song. Sometimes I hate being able to remember anything.
Ethel tried to sing harmony but she is very tone deaf. She did seem to enjoy making that noise though.

January 17, 2005

And your mother never really liked you

Bangi'mdead Today was one of those quiet mostly uneventful days I enjoy and appreciate, that I know would bore almost anyone else senseless. I'm still eating soft foods and it still hurts to swallow, but the pain is far less.
Dana, the gothed out girl, met Ethel and I at the lot. We walked some after Ethel had exhausted all the possibilities of ghosts and scorpions. Dana asked me about me. I gave her the 5 minute heavily abridged version. It goes something like this:
I played football and baseball and went to college on an athletic scholarship. I got married and had a son. They were taken from me. I still love them and miss them everyday. I didn't think I could love anyone ever again but I did. She was a former Olympian and a militant Lesbian. Our relationship had issues that we worked through, then she died from breast cancer. I didn't love anyone else for 9 years then I met an artist. We were wonderful friends and I let the relationship become sexual. After 3/4 of a year of passionate affection she had to leave Europe. She convinced me to follow and it was terrible. I had fallen in love with someone who really didn't exist. Oh she did, but buried deep beneath a frightened person who wanted to please everyone but herself. I rebelled against this and after 4 months left. I wish I'd never let it become sexual. I loved her more than I loved sex with her. Leaving I left her to the mechanizations of her family and boorish friends. They killed her talent. She still alive but we have no contact. She became something less than I could have imagined.Schoolgirls In Chains I then told her about meeting Ethel. Ethel agreed with me that it was a far more interesting story. It has dogs in it and any story with a dog in it is almost always high art.
When we left Dana tried to kiss me. I've mastered the high speed move of turning my face so that people kiss me on the cheek. She grabbed my face in two hands and kissed me on the mouth. Not passionately but with more intensity than I'm comfortable with.
I'm afraid of losing another friend.
Tomorrow I have to give the deposition about my Oil Wells. I'm taking Ethel with me as I think she should see the US legal system in action. I have no idea what they are going to ask me about.

January 16, 2005

Chewing bubblegum and drinking beer
Eddie Spaghetti

Randymoss It wasn't the best of days but it was okay. I found myself missing my dog on a nice sunny Sunday while I was in a “Sports Bar" not drinking.
I only got to see the 2nd half of the Philly - Minnesota game. It was not impressive although Kearse seems to be playing almost to expectations. I thought the Indianapolis - New England game was great pure football. Teddy Bruschi impressed me no end and Tom Brady looked like one of the greatest QB's of all time (when the heat is on).
The drawbacks were my former player drank too much beer. I don't drink and resent spending 3 bucks for a diet coke, so I wasn't in the best mood to listen to drunken babble. Also the crowd didn't appreciate the beauty of the game. They wanted a shootout, which can be interesting but the bad weather intensity on display today carries a sense of purpose and determination that I find enthralling - it's the drama of people attempting, striving and expending their finest efforts that I find wonderful. New England v Colts had all of that.
Aliens I had to hang out with everyone after the game longer than I wanted. They all had drunk too much so I have no idea if I like any of them. It was a relief to get back to Ethel who was very pleased to see me and even more pleased to go out. The girl Dana was waiting for us at our lot, which was nice. I like a number of things about her and hope the relationship can continue, but I've a nagging feeling she is inspecting me as “boyfriend" material. For now I'll put it off to my narcissism. The three of us had fun and we went to get coffee (Dana's treat! You gotta like a cute goth girl who treats you to coffee and/or sausage-meat treats) We laughed some and Ethel got pets and treats.
Work tomorrow. I'm strangely looking forward to it.

Happy Birthday William Kennedy

William Kennedy's first book was kind of poor, "The Ink Truck", and he was one of the writers of the dreadful Coppola/Evans' film "Cotton Club". Other than those two very different failures he's never taken a wrong step. He wear's his influences well - the daring insight of his idolized James Joyce combining with the shrewd humanistic vision and descriptive power of Dickens. Like Faulkner he has set himself into a place that he writes about with variant skill and power, letting the landscape play as a character and influence on his stories. While Faulkner's milieu was fictional, Kennedy's is not; Albany, New York.
So that when Kennedy retold the legend of Legs Diamond the scenes crackled with the same geographical intensity that Chandler brought to Los Angeles, and Joyce brought to Dublin.
His book, Ironweed, the story of a base ball player who flees life and becomes a hobo because he killed his son, won a Pulitzer Prize. It deserved it. The book is savage, funny, surreal, lyrical and exciting and it is all those things at once. More importantly this book, and all of his books, force us to see human beings to be as real as we find ourselves.
There are sections of "Quinn's Book" that make you gasp with excitement, parts of the "The Flaming Corsage" make you yearn for a love that works spiritually and carnally, the sort of love that drives women mad and turns men into dangerous fools.
His novels are fascinating. I find his essays and his straight history of Albany to be a bit dry and preachy, but that personal preference doesn't alter the fact that he is one of the greatest living American Authors. He's modern and neglected which seems to justify his brilliance. And, yeah, he's a heck of a nice guy who loves life. He's 77 today.

January 15, 2005

And having writ moves on

Charlie Chaplin - Modern Times3Xs Just a nice quiet day fighting with Ethel over the disposition of my laundry. I feel it does better in the clothes basket, she feels it adds to the lived in feel of the place scattered all over the room and, on occasion, dropped onto my head.
We watched the games and found them enjoyable, although I was impartial at the beginning I ended up being disappointed the Jets lost. Ethel thinks football takes too much time away from feeding the dog . . .
We went out again and the goth girl met us at our lot. She was dressed very nicely, all in black of course with some interesting boots. Ethel was glad to see her particularly as Dana brought along some sausages. Ethel yelled at me as I have not shared enough of these modern delicacies with her . . .
So while I was wondering why Dana thought Ethel is so funny Dana proceeded to tell me the story of her life. It was interesting and very angry. She told me how she hates this place but doesn't know how to escape. I told her I liked it.Dantes Inferno6XsI told her this: One of the advantages of being dumb, which is what I am with no apologies, is that every place always seems new to me. There are always miracles and mud to discover, clouds and the mundane to see. We were walking and while I listened to her I'd sometimes see something I would point out to her that made me curious or excited. I pointed out how Ethel (who is most certainly dumber than even me) got excited over the same things. We explored some of them together. I had fun, but, unless I'm suffering, I almost always do. Ethel had fun because the world is all new to her. I think Dana had fun, at least she kept up with us and she was dressed too nicely for the typical dumb exploring me and my dog like to do.Death Song1Xs When we said goodbye Dana asked if we could meet up again tomorrow. Ethel said sure, I thought but didn't say, only if you tell us which one you think is funny.
An internet thing: I used to spend about 90 minutes a day browsing the internet and looking at things, now thanks to RSS and aggregators my 90 minutes now takes about 15 minutes. I feel guilty because I have no idea of how to be more productive with that extra time. (Despite the suggestion from one quarter that playing the laundry game is valid and important way to spend time)
Tomorrow I'm excited about the New England Colts game. Looking forward to seeing it with a lot of people who might see the beauty I see in the game.

January 14, 2005

Sometimes a day has too much life

American Graffitti So after the Doc examined my throat and told me that I was supposed to start eating soft foods I figured I'd go get my paycheck, which wasn't there. A few frantic calls and I had to walk to the main office - 9 miles away - I got Ethel and we walked there. She thought this was great. I got my check and told them what I thought. They apologized and now I'm still working there but not with a light heart. I'll find something else but I'm not quitting until I do.
Work was cool tonight. My fit throwing gave me some extra weight or something. Most were surprised I could be so angry and stay so calm. I have no idea what that means.
Then it turns out that one of the new hires is a kid I coached in High School. He was psyched to see me again. He's going to take me out to see the games Sunday.
So after work I took Ethel out for her evening walk. Even after our 18 mile trek she was still full of energy . . . Of course I wasn't but that seems incidental.Zengarden
I took her to this huge vacant lot that they've surrounded with a two foot high fence. I have no idea what a 2 foot fence is intended to accomplish but keeping a man and his dog out is clearly beyond it's abilities. Ethel likes it there and can run amok. While we were doing whatever it is we do a semi-cute gothed out girl came out of the building across the street and made a bee line for us.
She introduced herself as Dana or something (she spelled it for me but it had too many 'y's and weird letters - if you have to spell your name to me it's a good bet I'm going to forget it).Basket CaseDana said she'd been watching Ethel and I for the past week or so and she thought that we were the funniest thing she'd ever seen. I always knew Ethel looked ridiculous and I gave her an appraising glance and realized Ethel was looking at me in exactly the same way. I consoled myself with the knowledge that at least I don't have an over bite.
So forgetting for the moment which of us Dana thought was a clown we let her join in our not doing much “fun". Dana seemed to enjoy it, Ethel too except for the big hugs Dana tried to give her.
I decided to take Ethel for a payday treat and was surprised Dana invited herself along. That was fine. She walked about a mile and half to McDonalds where I brought Ethel a hamburger. Ethel's eyes crossed in excitement. Somehow she inhaled her burger in like 2 seconds but somehow left COMPLETELY UNTOUCHED the pickle right in the middle of the wrapper . . . Attack Of The Jungle Women (I had to explain to Dana that I don't eat McDonalds - once at an LA party for this famous female New York critic I heard some one say - “They looked like people who eat at McDonald's". Hey, David Lynch was there and got offended!) Dana still insisted on buying Ethel another burger, I had no problem with that and for sure Ethel didn't.
So we walked home and I think Ethel and I have a new friend. Curious, I think. She asked if she could join us tomorrow. Ethel, greedy glutton said great, bring hamburgers.
So it's a pretty dull day by most standards but it felt big and full to us.
If that isn't enough consider that Matt Leinhart is returning to SC instead of going for the draft.

January 13, 2005

Born under a bad sign

Bonwdemon I didn't get my paycheck today . . . pretty irked by that, but as Ethel, my dog, points out, we do have plenty of Science Diet in the house so what am I worried about . . .
My upset created a furor at work and promises it will be sorted out by tomorrow, which isn't really good enough for me. Lots of sympathy and promises but I don't buy much with that.
Ethel found a lizard tonight. It was high grade entertainment watching her scrumple around the park in pursuit of an invisible thing. We still are worthless at fetch. She brings me a stick. I throw it and she wonders why, if I didn't want it, why didn't I just leave it lie . . .

Listening to stories

Afterglow, Hawaii As I get better I find that more and more of my coworkers like to talk to me. I like hearing people's stories so I'm generally grateful. Sometimes I do wonder why they give me so much detail, but I just figure it's because too many other people are worried about telling their stories and as all I want is to listen they get thrown and just keep going with their thoughts.
People aren't all that bad, you know. Really I think they are all right. Sometimes it gets strange though, like last night this fellow was just talking about his last job, it was dull but interesting for all that. I asked about his children and that was in a similar vein until he suddenly began talking about his daughter and her figure. Not in a “boy, she's going to break some hearts when she grows up" kind of way, but in a “man is she hot" kind of way.
I stopped him and told him he had better get some help. I didn't think it was cool to talk about 10 year olds that way and even worse to think about them like that. He got sheepish. I think I made an enemy. Those kind of enemies I can deal with.
Today I get a paycheck. It's important even if I don't think I get to keep any of it.

January 12, 2005

I am forced to look back

Old PaperWhen my wife and son were alive I was preoccupied with money. I was afraid of either of them wanting or needing. I remembered that I wouldn't have had a college education if I wasn't a great football/baseball player and the tensions that being poor always afforded. So I made sure I made money for an occassional pair of Chanel Shoes and the odd Armani blouse as well as educational funds.

One of the things I brought were Oil Wells. Wells located in Beverly Hills and Los Angeles, right in the city. They were expensive but the leases were lucrative and by the time the Wells had to be plugged the loans were paid off and there was enough left over to set up a scholarship fund in perpetuity.
Today a rather neat, elderly Hispanic gent knocked on my door. He had a very odd Western Style leather briefcase/folder. From it he gave me the papers. I'm to give evidence in a law suit about those 20 year old oil wells. It seems there are cancer pockets. It's horrifying. I'm not being sued but I'm being asked what it is I was told.

“Been down so long it looks like up to me"
Gnosnos Popadopulous

Clockwork Orange (2) I'm in a remarkable good mood and for no reason other than a lessening of pain. I'm about 75-80%, still swallow with agony and have a small brown and white companion who thinks the epitome of humor, at the moment, is to run in circles until acquiring maximum velocity and then to hurl herself into my stomach. . . and, yeah, somehow to me it all means life is good.
One downside to working with a lot of women is that there seems to be NO interest in football and the divisional playoffs. The games this weekend fire my imagination. No one will talk about them with me. I want to blame it on the women but, fact is, the 10 guys show about as much interest and even less enthusiasm. It was a guy who said, “Football? Isn't that over yet?" but I already had him marked as a potential terrorist.Nothing Sacred(Lc)1XsTomorrow will also be my first real paycheck in a month! Ethel, the dog points out that we will be investing it in Bully Sticks which are smoked bull penises, supposedly better and healthier for a dog than rawhide. Unfortunately watching the “woman" in my life lie in a corner while she rips shreds and demolishes giant penises sounds far too much like too many of my relationships . . .

January 11, 2005

Standing beyond the spotlight

Black Dragons The building I work in has a name. They call it, The Blue Flame. It's incised in bronze and etched in marble. Not “The Blue Flame Building", just The Blue Flame. On top of the building they have a ten foot high gas burner that they used to light up every night to make a 15 foot natural gas beacon!! I like all of that. It makes it seem like anything can happen and that you can be almost anywhere when you're in The Blue Flame.
There are some real dull reasons for the name and the sculpture but they interfere with the dream so I forgot them. Forgetting is good when it means you can be anything you want to be.

Work is funny. My health is about 50% now and I must look better. (And thanks for not telling me that my situation was critical . . . I think; dying would have been such an interesting surprise.) A lot of the women were talking to me this evening. One bothered me a little bit. She's one of the huge ones. Like I have a 30 inch waist and I am positive her thigh is bigger around than my waist. She was fine and I liked a lot of what we talked about except she kept telling me about these off kilter sex things, like how she enters wet T-Shirt contests . . . and she invited me to one this weekend so I could see her act . . . One really cute woman introduced herself and then never said another word to me. Madness of the Blue Flame?

January 10, 2005

Ice cream new miracle drug

Assault On Precinct 13 (2)At the hospital this really cute nurse suggested I get some ice cream - that ice cream would soothe my throat. I thought this was silly as anything but tepid water was excruciating to to swallow, cold drinks being notably painful. But she was right. After my pain pill last night I tried some. I don't normally eat ice cream but for a while I was enraptured. I felt almost no pain in my throat and slept for nearly two solid hours before it came back. I just tried it again but it was not “so" successful the second time. Marx Brothers At Circus(Hs)1Xs
I'm looking forward to work today, hoping to feel well enough to at least get an idea of what it's like to be there. I've been so sick that all the place has been is “my will to endure". There are sure a lot of women there and I continue to be amazed at how fat so many American women have become, the men too but somehow I always look to women to hold themselves to a higher standard then men. It's always seemed to me that they have. Read Steinbeck's “Grapes Of Wrath", Ma Joad's reflections to understand what I mean.

January 9, 2005

Four months living on the street the best start for life?

LittleBrownDog.jpg Ethel is the most polite dog I have ever shared space with.

She doesn't bark when I'm out, although her face of sadness is a truly remarkable work. She's had no "accidents" in the apartment. SHE PUTS HER TOYS AWAY!!

Her most annoying habits maybe the insane excitement at almost anything: Eating, my returning home, my saying good girl . . . and that when I'm asleep, if she wants something, I will wake up and be looking into her eyes. She seems to have no problem staring into my closed eyes to see when I wake up.

I love dogs and I'm used to their nuttsziness but this dog spent at least the first four months of her life being alone and ignored. She followed me home. I'm glad she did.

And she's a babe magnet which is great when I'm sunken eyed, emaciated, and talk in a voice that sounds like blub blub blub - the lonely little retarded man I think is how I come off, with a cute dog.

January 8, 2005

If they're still up they're Elvismas decorations today

Happy Birthday ELVIS!
&
Soupy Sales
Stephen Hawking
Yvette Mimeux

Muttz


Boy, am I sick! Between tonsillitis and chemotherapy - I don't know which one I'd take. For sure if I knew that this much pain, discomfort and grief would come from having tonsils I'd never kept them. Oh yeah, no food for 5 days now. Can't swallow. No liquids either, so I'm seriously dehydrated.
My day is like sleeping for 45 minutes, waking up in pain and then taking out the puppy or spitting up or . . . well, it's the cycle, then I go to work. Somehow being ill makes them wonder about my suitability as a work candidate. They have a hard quota of 20 documents processed per hour. Being goofy and running a 103 temperature I still managed over 80 per hour.
I'm going to have to go to Emergency again. I'm just not improving at all - the earaches lessen for a moment, or I can open my jaw more than an inch and I decide I've broken through, but I haven't.

Pooch Cafe 2005-01-08

January 5, 2005

I'm so proud of these guys

Matt Leinart and his USC teammates played to perfection, leaving no doubt about this national championship. The Heisman Trophy winner threw a record five touchdown passes and Southern California overwhelmed Oklahoma 55-19 Tuesday night in the Orange Bowl, assuring the Trojans will end the season just as they started: No. 1.

People don't know how much work goes into appearing lackadasical. How much your own blood you spill to have fun. To get that concentration of effort and will together just once is a great thing, to do it twice is amazing. Congrats to the Men Of Troy.

January 4, 2005

The Humaninty

Howtomakeamonster Spent all day at the hospital. My big painful disease was . . .
tonsillitis . . .
I never heard of an adult getting tonsillitis before. The gave me antibiotics and steroids and painkillers and pills for the fever etc etc. I still can't swallow, not even liquid - liquid is funny because I begin to cough and it all comes running out of my mouth - very cool. Ethel, the dog, doesn't like me to do that. She has a sense of aesthetics.
Ethel has been extraordinarily well behaved. She continues to be a very very good dog.
I called into work and told them I was ill. My voice is a remarkable thing now. It sounds exactly like someone trying to talk with a football imbedded in their throat. They said if I missed the second day of work I'd be terminated. So I went in. It lasted an hour. I really do look adorable and pathetic. So now I'm home and Ethel and I are rooting for our alma mater. USC is up 21-7 right now. I never relax until we have a 35 point lead and there's 10 seconds left to play.

January 3, 2005

Slit throat

Wetwarvet I start my new job in 2 hours. I'm so ill. It's not a cold.
I usually only tell women I'm trying to gently dissuade but I'm a diabetic in remission. People with good self esteem will tell me they're sorry and move along. What's important here is that my immune system is as screwed up as someone with HIV (I DO NOT HAVE HIV!! or any other STD)
So my throat is closing and I can't swallow. I slept in 2 hour stretches all day and night. Ethel (my dog) was surprisingly good. If my throat doesn't improve I'll go to the Emergency Room tomorrow morning. I have to be at the first day of work.
Ethel has been very good. I realize that my place is so small that she must see it as a kennel, her lair. She hasn't had an accident in here at all. Even more surprising is how she will wait until we get outside. Of course she does expect her treat, but then, why shouldn't she? She earned it.

January 2, 2005

Heroic Dog In Tsunami

Dog saves 7 year old in India

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Trying to remember

LovewithagunSometimes we walk through a crowd and suddenly we see a face and in that moment we see nothing but beauty and elegance. In our heads we say, "There goes the love of my life." And it is true. Then we go on with our day, our jobs, our chores. The day is haunted with a memory of her eyes, her smile, that brief flicker of image that grows into something crystal and pure. And then we forget all about it because we are human and people always forget. That is our salvation and what keeps us from embracing madness. It's also our loss.

I have a cold, the flu and start a new job tomorrow. I'm going to find out how long a cold incubates, then figure out who gave it to me then go and grimace at them.

January 1, 2005

A Hard Day's Work

There is no glory in any job; there is glory only in the person who works that job, no matter how slight it might seem.

Africa Screams Cs I'm tired. It was an interesting time. Somehow I felt I was like a prisoner on a chain gang, but I wasn't so the simile is kind of dumb. Ethel, my dog, was a huge help. She certainly made certain no lions or polar bears came up behind me. She also would grab any scraps of paper that were foolish enough to get caught in the wind. She would then turn them into confetti. I'm certain this was to help. In her mind 5000 tiny pieces of paper must be far easier to clean up then one huge heavy sheet. Sixty thousand people having fun drink far too much and are horrible slobs. My coworkers spent the time talking about jail (this is not prison). It appears none of them were criminals. On the whole all of them appear to have been arrested for getting drunk and the consequences of getting drunk. I regretted not being able to add to the conversation. There was a fight, but even though both guys were rather large it was pretty clear they had no idea of how to fight. Neither of them could have hurt anyone unless they got extremely lucky, or their opponent got extremely unlucky. At least it was a diversion.Cat-Women Of The Moon (3)The only other thing I noticed was how much food Americans throw away. I mean, like I picked up at least a dozen unopened pizza boxes, god knows how many untouched pieces of chicken, sandwiches etc. With all this talk of giving money to aid strangers in trouble how can we throw away edible food? Ethel, of course, thinks that people throwing away this much food is a good thing. Dog law is that anything on the floor or the ground is automatically dog property. No work tomorrow. I start the IT job Mondya so I probably need the rest but I could have used the money more. All in all a cool start to the New Year.

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It's A New Day

Peanuts 2005-01-01
On Jan. 1, 1863, President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, declaring that slaves in rebel states were free.
n 1898, Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island were consolidated into New York City. In 1901, the Commonwealth of Australia was proclaimed.
In 1953, country singer Hank Williams Sr., 29, died of a drug and alcohol overdose while en route to a concert date in Canton, Ohio.
In 1959, Fidel Castro led Cuban revolutionaries to victory over Fulgencio Batista.

I'm off to pick up the trash. Slept through the New Year, I don't feel bad about that. I'm taking my little dog with me to pick up the trash. I figure to waste a quarter of the day stopping her from eating old hot dogs.

It's going to be a good year.

"He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave." William Drummond