Click images for desktop size: "King Kong-1933 Lobby Card" It was a good day for a ball game. It was about 70 and a stiff 10 mph wind blowing SE which would help my screwball.

The hardest part was getting everyone else in my “Pack” ready. LOL was bringing a folding chaise lounge, a huge beach umbrella, a huge cooler of treats for herself, the team and the dogs. Fat Yellow Dog and Chow were both excited about all of us going out. I was horrified to see that she had “dressed” Fat Yellow Dog and Chow in these pastel floral mu mu's . . . if I'd only known this was the start of the horror. She claimed that the odd outfits were to keep them from getting sunburned! Then the final horror. She'd used the time she's had Ethel to get measurements and she'd made a MATCHING mu mu for her! What made me ill was that Ethel, my dog, seemed to like it! Alas poor me! LOL claimed that this would keep Ethel from getting sunburned and she wouldn't get embarrassed by all her bandages. LOL's mu mu matched the dogs of course. When we got to the field the rest of the team was there. I was surprised that there were already about 50 people sitting on the bleachers and about a half dozen BBQ's going. The wives of the other players were helping LOL while she was firmly in command of Ethel so I started my warmups. I was pleased that the whole team joined me. Guys kept dropping out but I still got all my stretches in. It felt very team like. I like being part of a team. While I was warming up our opponents were really ragging me. Calling me “Meat”, “Rag arm”, “Old Man”, and the like. I really enjoy that sort of thing. It makes everything seem real and important when they try and get to you. I like to say all my pitches were working, not telling anyone that all my pitches are like 5 variations of one pitch and that I learned them off of cereal boxes. In the first inning I was going along well. I got the first two guys out on a K and a pop up. Then their big gun came up; the Double A player. He was picking up the ball just as I feared and laid off the split finger and screwball and then I threw him a low fastball and he really jacked it. It must have gone at least 400 feet. I felt like applauding him myself. The next guy was out on an easy roller. Their pitcher was huge, at least 6' 5“. I was  thinking about how hard it would be to hit a ball plummeting down from nearly 8 feet high. It was a stunner to watch him warm up and see he threw side armed! I love smashing side armed tosses and it took away all the advantage of his height! About this time I saw that Ethel had a new addition to her wardrobe. An Ethel sized ball cap held on with elastic. Ethel looked at me and showed it off to me, then she went back to watching the game. Their tall pitcher got two easy outs from our first two batters. I didn't think he had anything and I was right. I launched his 3rd pitch but I had him timed too well and instead of pulling it I sent it straight down Center Field. I still ran it out and watched their other pro player (Single A) start to chase it down. Around our field there's this waist high mesh fence. I was rounding second so I didn't see what happened but I was told he jumped at the ball, dropped it as he fell backwards over the fence! I got an inside the park home run off of his error. I slid into the plate like a fool but there was no play. The game just cruised along. They made half as many errors as we did but we made half as many errors as usual, so it stayed locked at 1-1. I like being ragged on but these guys took it too far. Fat Yellow Dog had begged all the food he could so he took a nap sleeping on Chow. Now I grant you that 3 dogs wearing floral pastels are kind of funny looking and their leads being held by a 97 year old woman in a matching mu mu is rather amusing, but you shouldn't rag on them and call them names. I threw a couple tight at some guys. In the 7th I came up and the first pitch was behind me and got me in the lower ribs when I turned out of the way. I took the required two steps towards the mound. You have to do that to protect your teammates. Also, this is important, you don't rub where it hit! This is the way you tell the pitcher it didn't hurt. I took my base and on the next ball took off for second. It was an easy steal. You have to do that to make sure the pitcher regrets putting you on base. I took 3rd on a ground ball and scored on a fly ball. We got to the ninth up 2-1. We had a mess of sloppy play in the 9th and I was looking at bases loaded with no outs, all the runners there on errors. It was kind of exciting. The Double A guy was up. When I pitch I stand behind the mound between batters, just daydreaming really. Like today I was thinking mainly about iPod shuffles and whether I could wear one while I was pitching, if it would be against the rules, and about a girl friend. Then I turn around and face the batter. I look over at Ethel to make sure she was alright. For some reason this is considered intimidating. When I looked over this time Ethel had her mu mu all twisted under her chin and her little cap cocked over one ear. Fat Yellow Dog was standing on Chow's back doing this little drumming tattoo with his feet. He was excited. Chow was asleep. I thought it was really funny. I didn't realize how silent everyone had gotten until I heard someone shout in this bull frog voice, ”Strike him out Dave!“ I was in my wind up and started laughing when I released the ball. The pitch had more velocity than anything else I'd thrown ever! It was also going high and wide and all I could see was the tying run scoring on a wild pitch, and I started to charge the plate to cover. I got lucky, the pitch surprised the batter and he foul tipped it into the cage. I was more careful and he hit a screamer rope; fortunately it landed right in my glove. The shot was so fast the runners didn't see I had caught it so I tossed it to my catcher and we had our double play. The other base runners got back but the catcher made a bad throw to try and make the triple and we ended up with runners at 2nd and 3rd. The next batter was swinging for the fences. I thought he should have just been going for the single so I threw him a split finger. He hit a slow roller in the dirt, I charged, snagged it and turned to throw to first when I discovered the first baseman was standing next to me. He had charged it too but no one was covering. So I raced the batter to first, won by four steps or so and we won. I guess it was the first time we'd ever beaten these guys and my team got real excited. My stats: Pitching-9 innings, 8 strike outs, no walks, 4 hits allowed 1 earned run. As a batter I was 2-2 and HBP scored 1 run. Annabel, our vet, was there. She removed Ethel's stitches right at the field. I was surprised but Ethel thought it was fine. She had another boiled chicken breast filet so she didn't care about much of anything else. She likes wearing her cap . . .