Click images for desktop size: "The Tree" It was the kind of day where you don't think you have a right to feel as tired as you do. Lovin' madness, too many strangers and gentle worry. It was the kind of day where you wish liquor had the effect it had on you when you would sneak a sip of the old man's boiler maker, then you'd know you had a chance to let your brain just escape. Then I remember that I don't drink.
I was up late. I generally ignore the technology that goes into this blog but last night I got hit with a mass of spam for some porn site. I found out via my housemate about checking url's and the like and I was kind of fascinated about how many people actually stop by and read this.
There was one place, a business, that stopped by every day or so. I went to look and it was an LA recording studio. This perplexed me. I thought, "A haven for the spam guys?" When I looked at the list of employees I saw that two of the people were kids I worked with. . . I wondered why they never dropped me a line, why they came and read but never said hi.
I'm pretty comfortable with knowing that people always do things for their own reasons, reasons we'll never understand. I think we don't have a right or a need to understand everything. But there's always a reason.
Like in even the most transparent cases, the obvious and painful ones, betrayal and deceit. They don't upset me, well, the acts do but they don't make me upset with the person other than wondering why they think so little of themselves to do that. (The Mighty Mighty BossTones' "All Things Considered" is a great song about this stuff.)
It's not turning the other cheek crap, it's understanding that these destructive acts are perpetuated out of loneliness, fear and self loathing. those are pretty nasty ways to feel about anyone, especially yourself. I or you might have been inconvenienced, maybe in a big way, but it's still just inconvenience when compared to their lifetime of feeling that badly about themselves.
So why someone would want to read about what I'm doing without saying hi makes me a little curious it doesn't upset me. It would only upset me if they thought I didn't want to hear from them and know that they're ok.
So after a hurried sleep, where the murderous cats i live with continue their plans to kill me by always waking me up at 6:30 just to feed them, I resumed my job search.
Life is nicely laconic here. I like that. I don't like when employment agencies share that trait.
A couple of days ago an agency called me and asked if I'd consider part time work, a permanent position for 16-24 hours per week. I said for sure but it would depend on location and rate of pay. She said she didn't know . . . I thought those were pretty basic questions . . . So I didn't hear anything then yesterday I got an email saying the job was about 5 miles from me and paid $15 an hour. I said yeah that would be acceptable, lets talk about it.
Then this morning I got an email demanding to know why I was interested in working part time . . . from the same person who offered me the job . . .
I'm sure there's a good reason for this track but I'm surer that I don't have to care.
Then I got a job offer for the night position, so I thought swell! But then they called me back about the fact that they needed more ID from me to prove I'm an American . . . So I have to hustle up with the SSA to get me my Social Security Card so I can get a crappy job . . . madness.

Click images for desktop size: "SuperStars"Then I got a letter saying my unemployment claim was cancelled because my employer gave them a bad employer ID number . . . but I could appeal . . . Running all that down I understand why I'm tired . . .
The great thing was that I took Good Ol' Dog on two walks, one to the dog park. She is getting fitter and stronger. But not too much brighter.
At the dog park she actually raced with the other dogs to catch a ball (I'm still only able to get about 50-60 yards on my throws, that worries me). She never would race with them because she always lost badly. Today she out ran them and then RAN back to me fending off the other dogs and showing me she had the ball. She was very proud.
Then when we walked around the lake we saw a rabbit who did not see us! We got to within 4 or 5 feet before he noticed us! Sadly, Good Ol' Dog didn't notice the rabbit (Her story is that I walk her stupidly!) When she suddenly noticed it it seemed o trigger the rabbit's awareness and he dived into some nearby bushes.
Good Ol' Dog lunged after it and snapped the leash so I hyper extended my elbow. (What an old man thing - hyper extended my elbow holding a dog leash?)
I was happy that good Ol' Dog is getting so strong. But she's not getting brighter. While she snuffled around the bush I watched the bunny slink off into the woods by the expedient method of WALKING two feet away PAST US!
Good Ol' Dog ignored me while I shouted and and pointed, telling me she couldn't play cause she was hunting a rabbit. I watched the bunny saunter away while the dog was tearing through the pushes . . .
When I finally did manage to pull her away she thought I was very mean and we had to scrupulously check any similar bushes we passed as Good Ol' Dog is convinced that this is a haven for bunnies . . .
The dog and my friends made a mess of a day into something memorable and pleasant.