Click images for desktop size: "Fossil Fish" There's a hill, brown with sun burned grass. It a steep hill but rolls to a low rising high-point. On top of the hill is a man, dressed in scruffy rags and he wields a sword that is too large and too heavy for his scrawny arms and emaciated frame. But he wields the sword.
Surrounding the crown of the field is an infinite army of soldiers and creatures dressed as soldiers and creatures from a darkness that has nothing to do with night. They make a noise, a clamor that stops thought and clouds all emotion except fear. But still the scrawny man wields his sword.
From no place a large stranger appears behind the scrawny man. He wears armor of perfect blackness that refuses to reflect light. He approaches the scrawny man and puts a friendly hand on the scrawny man's shoulder, then he tosses back his cloak and draws his sword which is larger and heavier and sharper than any other sword.
With no words exchanged the two of them slash at the air with their weapons and together they attack the fearsome enemy.
See junque like that is drama. It's also the junque of myths and legends. I think myths and legends are important. They give people a higher place to want to be.
Like the 300 Spartans who broke the back of the most powerful army ever assembled. Over 1,000,000 Persian soldiers fought them to a standstill for nearly a month. One million against 300. Myth and legend that became history. (History is just the way to remember life.)
Or in the Philippines during World War II. A squad, 7 men, facing the entire 3rd Japanese army. 7 Men facing an army to protect the backs of their comrades. They held them for a week that enabled 40,000 men to escape and live. 7 men who stood off an army, 7 men not fit enough to make the retreat, wracked with malaria, wounds and inexperience stood up to an army. Myths and legends enabled them to stand up and do a job.
It's those same myths and legends, that same aspiration to a higher plane that enables most of us to get up everyday and fight through life. It is what stops us from just huddling under the blankets merely surviving and until the day melts into the next day.
I'm going job hunting today. Different kind of dragons out there.
I realized that my desperation has a focus. When I made my move from the old place it was with small hopes and a knowledge that the struggles would continue. I made the move because I thought the war had a better chance of success. Instead I was met with bigger and uglier monsters. And now, that seems like a mysterious series of events that don't even make for mediocre short stories.
Now the stress seems like the memory of a painful operation. See the desperation I feel is this: It's easy to repay money (worrisome and stressful in its own overwhelming way but still relatively easy.
What's desperate is that there is no way to ever repay kindness, no way to ever return the favor of that welcome hand on your shoulder as you prepare to face the infinite army of soldiers and creatures dressed like soldiers and creatures from a darkness that has nothing to do with the night. There's no way to repay myths legends and history. There's nothing to feel but humble.