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August 6, 2005

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time;
it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
~Sidney Harris

Bonsai-Test2 It was a bad night.
For the first time in a few years the fatigue hit me.
I don't know how to describe it. I've never been that cold and if i ever were I'd tend to look for places to get warm, but they claim that this fatigue is similar to that experienced by Arctic explorers, a sort of ennui where it seems the best thing to do is too sit down and just sleep.
It's a scary feeling but I've been there before. I just didn't expect to walk that path again.
It's not painful but it's the type of feeling where you don't want to move or talk or listen or feel or live. You just want to lie down wherever you are and let whatever is going to happen happen. You're not a participant, you're merely an observer of your own existence.
I can push through it. A puppy helps.
My puppy must have known what was going on because she let me sleep nearly 2 hours later than usual. Then she really had to go out. She waited until she got outside.
I've taken my pills and had a cup of coffee and took Good Ol' Dog and the puppy on their morning walk. It wasn't easy for my body but it was fun for my heart.

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