Click images for desktop size: "Geisha" by Johnny Vegas Waiting before I fire up the barbecue.
I feel decadent - grilling a piece of salmon, some chili peppers and an ear of corn.
Tried looking forward and saw no great dramas unfolding, I mean the bad dramas. Drama will always happen. Someone is always willing to bring their drama into your life. The less you want it the more they'll justify the need for you to be involved; no matter what has to be contrived.
It's one of the reasons I'm always smiling: No matter how at peace you are with the world someone will always be knocking at your door with a gun (or the emotional equivalent) in their hand, tired eyes and a bit of trouble that they need to lay in front of you.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
If I was prone to mental illness I'd say this was the day it came to fruition. The pain has gotten so severe that it sometimes seem like I'm not in my body but living in some shell inside of it that's impervious to the pain and discomfort.
I'm pretty sure that's a symptom of schizophrenia.
I'm not schizophrenic but right now I'd trade this pain for it.
To celebrate this new armor within the flesh feeling my puppy and I took and impromptu stroll that turned into an eight point two mile hike. With the bright sun and the happy puppy it reminded me a lot of my life or death ambles through the desert with Ethel, my little dog who died. I looked back on it with nostalgia and no sense of regret.
No matter how bad something seemed our mind protects us from anything it decides we can't handle. It also means that no matter how bad something seems at the time only an idiot would shut out that beauty exists even in the midst of hell.
today my puppy and I went to a pawn shop to scope out their guitars. It was closed but we peeked through the barred windows.
Some nice looking wood in there but a pawn shop this good has someone who knows guitars - little chance of the Gibson-Humminbird going for 25 bucks.
After that we just sort of wandered and explored our neighborhood. We liked it.
When the walk seemed to go on to long we stood between some cars at a drive up window at a fast food joint. I had to order a "breakfast biscuit" for them them to give me a cup of water for my puppy.
I figured that I'd eat the biscuit and give my puppy the sausage patty.
Wrong on both counts. The biscuit was vile - loaded with grease and sugar, I guess in a vain attempt to make it edible. I threw it away.
More incredible is that my puppy refused to eat the sausage patty! She mouthed it then dropped it. I picked it up and offered her bits of it as we continued her walk but she got to the point where she wouldn't even take it and drop it!
She did drink the cup of water though. All of it. So it wasn't a total dietary loss.
Then have just sort of "wasted" the day playing with the puppy and watching football on TV.
I thought it was a great day and it's not even half finished yet.
And Not To Brag or anything: USC 63 Hawaii 17

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