Click images for desktop size: "Magnifique" At the start of the year it looked like Southern Cal had a pretty easy path, now over half of our opponents are nationally ranked.
I like that. It makes for tense games but Victory means nothing unless it's against the best that they have to offer.
It's a long season. It's the test for excellence.
The Men Of Troy should be proud whatever happens.

I haven't been posting.
It's because all I feel is negative rage and unfair criticism.
Who needs to hear that.

Picking on people is the easiest nastiest thing to do.
Analyzing them  . . . it's foolish.
study the most beautiful woman in the world with a microscope and all you'll see are skin mites and craggy pores.
I resent it when people do that to me and use the knowledge that they do that in my attitude towards them.
That I'm doing it annoys me.

My body is falling apart.
It would be superhuman if that weren't affecting my attitude.
Two days ago I sat quietly at work, I sighed and two of my back teeth just fell out.
It's a side effect of the oral chemo they tell me.
It depresses me more than I care to admit. I don't have the space to be depressed. I don't feel the need to waste time staying depressed.
The weather hasn't been helpful to that end. Solid rain for nearly 3 days.
Saving grace has been a friend and my black puppy.
they make me realize the world doesn't revolve around me. They give me responsibilities. They make me see potential.
Then, of course, yesterday the high school team I'm going to assistant coach next spring lost to a team that had never beaten them. Lost handily 34-10.
I worry about the kids who lost but losing may not build character, it does force perspective.

It's funny 6 months ago I was eating a box of 29 cent macaroni and cheese a day. grieving the loss of my little dog and desperately searching for work.
All I wanted was enough to eke out survival.
I have that now and it makes me want more.
I am just an American after all.
I got a DivX video player. It pleases me. I love movies. Almost all movies. Now I can watch those obscure gooney films I adore, the ones you can never find but can swap and download for on the internet. That's coolness to me.
I swapped Kwaidan for The Sadist. That pleased me and took me out of myself for a good 30 or 40 minutes.
The movie took me out even longer.

Click images for desktop size: "Sarita's Jeans" by Duane CohenSo that's all there is right now.
Just a man staring at his own mortality and hating the world for making him realize he's just a mortal man after all.
Not pretty.
I wish it weren't real. But it is.
As real as puppy breath, and soiled floors.
As real as love and ugliness.
“Why was I not made of stone like thee?”