Click images for desktop size: "Green Christmas" by Paul Sahern Christmas Eve always leaves me space to think about my mother. She was barely 15 when I was born. I never thought about what it was like, back then especially, to be a single mother, to be 19 when she took me to kindergarten. Back then I just thought my mother was the prettiest youngest mom at every event.
The earliest Christmas I remember was when I was 5. I can still vividly recall the excitement.
I got my mom a bag of sponges that I thought were unbelievably cool - they were shaped and packaged like a loaf of multi-colored bread. I got them at the Bargain Circus on La Brea with money I got by taking deposit bottles back to the liquor store.
I got 6 Mad Magazine paperbacks, a regulation baseball and a regulation football.
I thought it was the most opulent Christmas imaginable. I didn't think such wealth existed in the world. I can see how they shaped my future. I played both baseball and football. They put me through college. And I still have an adolescent sense of humor.
I even remember that I got a stocking that had an orange and a toy steel scimitar . . . back then they thought that children should live more dangerously . . . the scimitar was used on this ugly orange and blue hard plastic doll. You used the sword to cut the doll in half. It was an odd sort of magic trick, I guess. I never aspired to be a magician, then or since.
There've been a lot of Christmases since, some of them pretty terrible - I don't dwell on them - some of them pretty great. But that Christmas with just my mother and I is the one I remember as being incredible.
I even remember and not understanding her desperation when she promised me that soon we wouldn't have to live in an apartment with cracks in the ceiling and walls. All I remember of that place was the street we lived on, the palm trees and the potholes we used as bases when we played baseball, oh and an orange and purple lamp shade in my room - it had a drawing of pirates digging up treasure.
This Christmas Eve has been pleasant.
I haven't made any football picks. The death of Colt's Head Coach Tony Dungy's son was incredibly sad. When an 18 year old young man takes his own life a lot of joy leaves the world. I thought that the Colts game should have been canceled despite the expense of season tickets and TV revenue.
Instead of football I went for a walk with the two dogs. My puppy is incredibly excited about Christmas, the lights the smells. It is all so new to her. She's become such a happy dog. I'm proud of her.
Good Ol' Dog is more stoic,until I gave her her Christmas Eve dinner. Her owner doesn't believe in treats. I do and I'm dog sitting.
We went to get some Christmas tamales - I'm from LA, tamales mean holidays to me! The restaurant I found was sold out of tamales but they had Seviche! It was incredible. SInce they were closing they gave me a bowl each of carnitas and carne asada for a Christmas gift for the dogs. They loved that and sang Feliz Navidad all the way home.

Click images for desktop size: "Elf" by Nicole I have a lot of pain right now. This morning it was near unendurable, to the point of self pity. I had the thought that this wasn't fair to feel like this on Christmas Eve.
That flash of self pity shook me out of that mood fortunately. It also helped having a puppy who said that I would feel much better if I tried to get this hedge hog away from her. It was good medicine. I've stamped the pain down to manageable levels.
I also realized that I will always remember this week leading up to the holidays as the week of the Weepy Women. Fully 8 women talked to me about their lives and broke into tears.
Guys don't cope well with women in tears. It leads us to rather stupid things like the old soft wide punch in the shoulder and mumbling something inane like, “it'll be okay.”
I told a friend about this and how there was a part of me that was jumping up in down happy inside because for one of the few times in my life women were crying at me and it had nothing to do with me . . . I mean they weren't crying because of anything I had done.
She was surprised that I'd say this. I think that any guy would feel that way. I could listen and sympathize but I can't help feeling that it was great that the tears had nothing to do with me!
So, we have a full Christmas ahead tomorrow.
Tonight there's a church that celebrates the miracle of the animals and there will be an animal blessing. I'm taking both dogs to get water splashed at them and to marvel at the other pets in the area.
Thanks to friends the puppies will have a marvelous Christmas. Even I have a present to unwrap.
On this day it doesn't feel foolish to wish everyone especially strangers a MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Peace on earth.
I hope that doesn't offend anyone. I celebrate Christmas, never had a problem with wishing anyone glad tidings same way I never had any problems with Jewish friends wishing me a Happy Hanukah.
It seems a trifle of misdirected anger to care about glad wishes from anyone for any reason.

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