Click images for desktop size: "Smooth" by Pixelslinger Been knocked low by a change in medication. They explained it to me but whenever they start in with the long technical treatise and use phrases like Isle Of langhorn, I tend to go south and start remembering the greatest waves of my life.
You know its that moment when you start to make the drop and the adrenaline freezes in your blood, you make a swooping bottom turn and start carving back up the face of the wave to get that sweet plosh of a lip smack, then you race back down the face and curl into a tiny bit of green room and for those moments you don't hear much and all you feel is a rush and all you know is that you are invincible and you wish this could last like one titanic orgasm that exists forever.
Some skaters on the cutting edge know the feeling and a few sky divers who've cut it to the minimum understand it too.
Usually by the time I've come out of my reverie the docs have finished flapping their gums and I'm no better informed then I was before.
The gist of it that I could absorb was that diabetes is a pretty standard side effect to chemo.
The drug I'm on for diabetes works by increasing the efficiency of the insulin my pancreas still can produce. Its worked well for me for a few years now.
The new oral chemo has hampered but not shut down the production of insulin.
The new drug attempts to get the pancreas to produce more insulin.
It has a lot of side effects.
The annoying ones are the constant bad taste in my mouth, drowsiness as the days wear on, almost to the point of torpidity.
Its my body reforming itself and trying to be something new.
The pain killer is odd. It works. One of its main uses is for depression! That bothered me because I'm not depressed. They say thats one of it uses but it is used as a muscle relaxant in cases of diabetic muscle pain and chemo related stress pains. On my dosage it wouldn't have much effect in mood elevation.
So it seems the main culprit this time around is diabetes. Not pleasing.
I don't want to go on insulin but the side effects aren't abating rapidly enough. It maybe my only alternative. Work is a drag. I'm still searching for something more appropriate.
I like taking my puppy with me everyday. We're good together. Sadly that is the only thing, other than a paycheck that the job offers me. Its a drudge that wears thin.
My puppy doesn't wear thin, She's large now, a year old in a week! But still a puppy for all that. She makes me smile all the time. She's smart and sometimes her intelligence makes her fret, and sometimes it leads her to be angry.
We get along fine for all that.

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