Click images for desktop size: "Samren" Been a disconcerting time for me.
I like being alone. I like people. I like dogs.
I seldom feel lonely. But with visitors coming and going, human and canine, it sets in.
And then the football season is over.
And another excruciating doctor visit.
And poverty.
The last I get on myself about. I have food, bus fare, a home my puppy and I both like . . . its a sort of rich kid poverty. Its not broken down living in the cold. Its not doing without med's. Its just inconvenience sort of poverty.
I can't do anything about the football season ending. I've tried.
Its these Doctors. The doctors are just a thing that takes time absorbing.
Saturday I went with my friend Patrick to hear him play some new songs with his band. For no valid reason I can think of (which are the reasons we are most stubborn about) I figured that no matter how bad the pain and the hand cramps are I could still get it together and play for 15 minutes or so.
I couldn't even get warmed up.
My hands get wrenching crushing pain and then lock into sometimes interesting positions. It takes a lot of my strength to unclench them. If both hands lock up I'm sort of at a loss.
Worse case it takes about 5-10 minutes for them to unknot. It hurts but it is more frustrating and embarrassing then painful.
Of course Saturday was helped because my puppy was with me. When my hands knotted up she would stick her head through the crook between my arm and the guitar to see what was going on.
It made me laugh.
Today I had to go to the clinic. The clinic is in, what they insist is, the worst part of town. I've never been bothered or uncomfortable there except for the surplus of stray dogs cutely begging for food.
The clinic is a new red fire brick building, low ceilings with low wattage light through out. They keep it clean but its hard to notice that because the place is always filled to capacity. There's seldom a chair or a space to sit in.
People seldom seem to come alone. Often one child will be accompanied by 3 or 4 other children and 3 or 4 adults. And everyone talks loudly, like you would in a crowded restaurant, not to be rude but just to be heard.
Its the most ethnically diverse place in this city. Its the most soothing thing about the clinic. I like the wild confluence of different voices all speaking in different languages.
It funny but its happened often enough there for me to assume this is my task: Little children will start howling at the top of their lungs, faces hot and flushed streaked with tears. Whether I'm standing or squatting against a wall they come up to me, closer than I'd let an adult get, and just bawl.
I say, “What's up, partner?” They clamp their mouths shut, furiously blink away the tears to stare at me wide eyed, then go skipping away laughing.
I got X-rayed and poked and measured and weighed, yelled at and given more instructions. But no more pills. I was glad for no more pills.
Then they told me that the pain wouldn't ever go away.
I got a 20 minute exercise routine to follow every day to lessen the pain in my back. There's no exercise for my hands other than, “Don't use them too much.”
I am also not allowed to do much bending forward . . .

My puppy and I watched the Championship games yesterday. She loves watching Reggie Bush. When he is running she sits up, stares at the TV with a grim expression.
The Bears New Orleans game was ugly, even though it snowed. I love football games in the snow.

Click images for desktop size: "Black Bow" The game reminded me too much of the old Chuck Knox Ram teams. A fabulous defense that made the other teams O look poor and an utterly dull 3.5 yards a play . . . on the ground for the home team O . . . and only throw the ball when the belly play come up short twice in a row.
Urlacher played like a demon. He gave up his role of playing in the back field and flew everywhere setting up some beautiful contain and disrupting the TE's and RB's routes.
I liked when he was asked by a sort of jerk reporter what he thought about Bush's beautiful 88 yard TD and Urlacher responded calmly that Bush is a great player with a lot of speed and that their was no way he was going to catch him.
Classy guy and an amazing talent. WIth that attitude I give them a better chance against the Colts.

The Colts-Patriots was a beautiful game and a fitting end to the season. Brady needs receivers who can CATCH and they are sorely in need of a cover corner. One thing that is a touch worrisome is that you got the feeling that the Colts accomplished their goal of getting to the SuperBowl. That might be enough for them.
As for my guessing at the games season. I finished 64th in the local contest and won nothing! In the national contest I finished, thanks especially to my totally incoherent playoff predictions, 3,657th. BUT I did win an iRoomba (a robot vacuum cleaner) for being perfect early on.
I now think the Roomba is indispensable, even if it doesn't worry the puppy in the slightest. I like to sweep the floor and then turn the little robot loose on it so I can see how much more dirt it can pick up . . .
My life is now spent being entertained by quantities of dirt . . .

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