Click images for desktop size: "Home Town" by Unknown The cat is still alive.
We gave her Arsenicum Album. That's supposed to help ease her and maybe to help her to pass over.
I can't tell if it helped make her feel better.
You're only supposed to give it 3 times. If nothing happens then it "wasn't the proper treatment". I have no way to grasp that concept. All it means right now is that it didn't appear to work.
Today will be hard. If she doesn't start to improve I'm going to have to make arrangements to take her in and have her put to sleep. That won't be easy. I don't want her to suffer. I'm certain she isn't yet. She's not happy but she shows signs of happiness more often than any indications of distress.
At moments I feel like I'm torturing her just to assuage my own soul and rage. Then she starts to purr and tries to nuzzle.
I don't like cats. I don't want them or any animal to suffer. Its not easy to dislike something you've tended to, that you've cared for. The cat's important to my friend. That just adds to the gravity of what's happening.
It's selfish but I'm very glad that my little blind dog didn't go through this. He stayed happy and excited until he just quit. He went so quickly there wasn't even time to take him to the vet. He left nothing but happy and joyous memories.
Maybe I'm feeling for the cat because her state and condition reminds me too much of my own state. I didn't think I was that self centered, but who knows. The entire point of trials and stress is to see what comes out of it, to see what you are.
I do all sorts of little tests on myself everyday, checking my mind mostly. Everything changes. Everything.
My friend has been working super long hours. I worry about her. She doesn't know how to test herself and will just keep running until she can't run anymore.
She has a deadline, fiscal year end stuff. She worked about 18 hours last weekend. Then had yesterday wasted because the computer crashed. Windows. What sort of asinine system allows this: She was saving her work every thirty minutes or so to avoid the crash problem. When it crashed this time it deleted the data file . . . deleted it and blanked all the data. Blanked 18 hours of work . . . She got lucky. Where she works does twice daily back-ups so she only lost about 90 minutes of work. It took them almost the entire day to get her file restored. She got it all re-done and, being Windows, it crashed again and, of course, deleted and blanked the data file.
They were able to restore it more quickly this time but it was still the old back-up with the same 90 minutes of work missing.
Windows. And the Microsoft fan boys always like to tell me how its so much better for business than Linux or Apple.

Click images for desktop size: "Girl" by Unknown All of this has sort of dampened my usual enthusiasm for football.
USC began camp yesterday. Almost all the players reported. Two valuable additions aren't there yet. They're freshmen and need NCAA Clearing House approval. A D-End didn't make it academically. He was good. He's gone to one of the Virginia Prep schools I've had experience with. A good choice for football but a very very poor choice for his academics. He'll be missed.
The fallacy of the BCS was shown last year when there was no USC Georgia game. Now USC is number three and Georgia the pre-season number one. Both teams faced mooks in their bowl games.
Mark Sanchez is turning into something special. He claims that he watched all three of his starts from last year almost continuously this summer. He's the fire that will either crash and burn or destroy. He's got the brains, the heart and the guts to be a monster.
He had better be. Super Mitch Mustain waits in the background. This kid has been proven under fire in the SEC and has fit into SC brilliantly. In 3 years he'll lead USC to the National Championship. The O-Line is scary. Not in the good way. All young, all monsters but only 3 weeks to become a unit. I think that as the season goes on they'll become true monsters and start to blow up defenses. Unfortunately they start off with Virginia and Ohio State. A rough place to be learning. If they can survive those two they'll come out of that destructive and unbeatable.
Running backs . . . Stafon Johnson and "OH NO IT'S" Joe McKnight. And 4 other guys who can stomp and run and cut. Stanley Halavi as a true FB keeps it scary and sweet.
At wide receiver there's nothing but talent and not one guy who stepped up to even approach his potential last year. Sanchez and Mustain can go down field. They need these guys to stretch out and make some catches. (Isn't that the most obvious statement ever made.)
Tight End will be fine.
The defense will be even better this year if they get a decent nose tackle. They don't even need great. LB and FS have all the greatness you can imagine. They're projecting 4 first round picks here including the incredible Taylor Mays, Brian Cushing and Ray! Pure destruction.
Today they take the field for the first time at 5:30. I'm anxious for the reports.

Click images for desktop size: "Mountain White Flower" by Unknown Its a beauty that is real and will distract from the reality so close at hand.
I'm calling the high schools around here today and volunteering to coach. I'm hoping for something positive or, at least, encouraging.
I've decided my health isn't where it needs to be to work with the little ones in Pop Warner. They need more than I've got. It bothers me because Pop Warner is always hungry for experienced coaches. Little ones are too important to risk doing a bad job. That said, I might consider it if nothing comes from the high schools.
That might sound wishy washy but I've thought it through carefully.