California 3 USC 17

Plotting by Lawn Elf

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I hope that anyone who saw the Alabama – LSU game will give up the myth that the SEC is the best conference in the country.
That was one inept stinker of a game. It was terrible in every facet, That Alabama is number one is The Good The Bad and The Ugly heinous. That LSU is in the top 20 is a poor joke.
USC’s win was lackluster. They’ll be penalized and they should be. (Although the entire world of football officials should be penalized. In the NFL and in college ball the officiating has degraded to an abominable level.) After watching Texas Tech dismantle Oklahoma State is there any one who can doubt who is actually number one? (And not just because my kid Akacia Gin Ichi

Click images for desktop size: “Akacia Gin Ichi” by Unknown
scored the first TD! The announcers actually knew his name this time!) Texas Tech plays superb offense and are the only team in the Big 12 who know that defense is important too.
Then there’s Penn State. I really wanted to see Texas Tech and Penn State at 1 and 2. Iowa squashed that dream. It was a brilliant game for Iowa. It seemed that on every play at least one player of the field reached deep and did something that should have been beyond them. It what I love about college ball, the emotions laid out on the field.
And USC rally didn’t look so bad. The coaching, of all things, is looking worse each week! Mark Sanchez looked solid but not spectacular. The coaches still are asking too much of a young O-Line.
But the Trojan D is looking unbelievable. After last night they are giving up a whopping 6.7 yards a Out of the Airlock by Blurberger

Click images for desktop size: “Out of the Airlock” by Blurberger
game! Against one of the top running attacks in the country they gave up a total of 27 yards. Purely incredible. The defense is National Champion caliber.

I made myself sick yesterday. Sicker than I’ve been in a long time. The pain’s been bad but the fatigue has not been. The fatigue or lethargy worries me more than pain or discomfort.
It was my own fault. Having fun and not paying attention. My friend threw the dogs and me out of the house while she re-did the office to facilitate her working at home more. Cool.
I decided to work on blowing the leaves. One thing about all the trees is they sure generate a lot of leaves. That must seem obvious but it still surprises me.
I was having fun blowing the leaves, stopping when the dogs wandered within 10 yards, playing with The Curse of Frankenstein the dogs. I started to get hungry and ignored it. My blood sugar dropped too low.
I think its funny and some sort of joke that I could get to be diabetic and get my blood sugar too low. There was no sugar in the house and soon I started to feel hat grinding in my blood and bones. I guess its the body trying to find some procaine to help with the pain and stressing itself out when there’s not much in there to find and no sugar to process it with when it does find some.
That’s not the tech specs but as close as I can get.
For some reason I didn’t want my friend to know how terrible I felt. Pride? Embarrassment? Stupidity . . . I don’t know. I tried to conceal it. My brain kept flashing white. Not white noise but like a glossy 8×10 photo of a white poster board white.
Pride of the Piegan

Click images for desktop size: “Pride of the Poegan” by Unknown
I’ve been through it before so it doesn’t scare me anymore. I just don’t like it.
I ate something. Sort of collapsed for a couple of hours and came out of it well enough just to feel sick.
I have to be more careful. Past history says the effects of this will linger for a few days so the best option is to avoid me . . . or only talk about how wonderful my dogs are. Your choice.

Last week I was 9-5 in my NFL picks. I tied with my friend . . . again . . . this is getting obnoxious. This is just proof that dames have no business in football! WOMEN! They just don’t get it! If she can’t do better than that she has no business watching the game. You can see how stressing about how she is doing is affecting my own infallible methodology of picking winners!
The things I put up with!
As usual my well thought out picks are in bold.
Denver at Cleveland – Normally I would never pick this terrible Bronco defense on the road. But because the Browns opted to start Brady Quinn instead of Derek Anderson (noted dog lover) it made this a clearer choice. Quinn did much better than I thought, not great but not totally terrible either. Jay Cutler, the Bronco’s diabetic QB played incredibly well! Except I discovered that in rushing to pick this Thursday night game I accidentally clicked the wrong button and took the Browns . . . I’ve done this before, sometimes its even worked out for me . . . I hate Thursday games . . . except on Thanksgiving . . .

New Orleans at Atlanta – I love the Saints and coming off their bye week and that stunning win in London two weeks ago you’d think I’d stick with them. But they just are so banged up. The Falcons are looking unreal with rookie Matt Ryan. He’s pretty much got a lock on Rookie of the Year. The Saints D is just too thrashed out to pressure him and keep hi on track. This could be the game of the week but common sense says the Falcons are in better shape. I hate common sense too.

Tennessee at Chicago – I don’t think the Titans will go undefeated but I don’t see this Bears team as being able to beat them. The Bears will hamper the Titans running game a little bit but they won’t be able to rattle Jerry Collins. If Grossman starts he has a lot to prove and could make a difference, underline could. If a gimpy Orton starts the Titans D should smother him.
Purple People Eaters

Click images for desktop size: “Purple People Eaters” by NFL Films

Jacksonville at Detroit – Could this be the week that the Lions finally win one? Nah. The Jaguars are stinking the joint out right now but the Lions are planning to starts a QB who’s been out of the game for over a year and who’s been with the team for 5 whole days . . . ewwwww. At least the Jag’s won’t have any recent film of him to study. Cruddy game of the week.

Baltimore at Houston – I’m actually shocked that the Texans have won 3 games! The Ravens keep looking meaner and meaner and Flacco is continuing to deliver and improve. Flacco is the other starting rookie QB and would be the Rookie if the Year if not for Matt Ryan of the Falcons. Biggest thing today is to see the the Ravens can pitch the shut out.
The Fourth Man
Seattle at Miami – You’d think that after just one win last year the Dolphins would be stoked to be at 4-4 already! .500!! They’re not. They want more and are seeing themselves as contenders in the AFC East! The Seahawks Seneca Williams has looked better at QB than I expected. He still stinks but not as badly as I thought he would. The Dolphins should eat this one up.

Green Bay at Minnesota – Who would have thought that this game would have meaning. Who would have thought that it was because both teams are 4-4 . . . The Packers should score frequently against the Vikings but its a hard call as to whether they can stop juggernaught Adrien Petersen. I think they slow down the one dimensional attack enough to win this one going away. If Petersen gets over 150 yards it could be more interesting than the Packers would like.

Buffalo at New England – A couple of weeks ago this had game of the week written all over it and then the Bills decided to disintegrate. They’ve looked terrible in 3 losses, 2 of them consecutive. The Brady-less, Harrison-less Patriots have looked better than anyone could imagine. Maybe Billichek really is a genius. Cassel should continue to have success against the flustered Bills D and the inspiration Patriots D should handle a suddenly desperate Bills team that will be trying to hard.

St Louis at New York Jets – Dr Jekyll and Mr Favre. Old age seems to have cost Favre some of his Bringing Up Baby consistent brilliance. He’s still incredibly entertaining but, well, last week he did set a new record for the most interceptions ever. The Jets D has looked woeful, even against the pathetic Raiders! Still you have to pick them over one of the worst teams in the NFL. This will probably be more interesting than it has any right to be.

Carolina at Oakland – Al David cuts CUTS one of the premier DB’s in the game . . . the man has clearly lost it. DeAngelo Hall i the kind of guy you build a secondary around. The Redskins must be stunned they were able to pick him up for NOTHING! If this doesn’t make the Raiders more nervous and trepidatious than they already were nothing else will. A tight bad team against a mediocre team. The Panthers are mediocre but should spring enough “lick” plays and dominate the tight Raiders Offense.

Indianapolis at Pittsburgh – Co-Game of the week. The Steelers Defense is looking nearly as good Virtual Girl

Click images for desktop size: “Virtual Girl” by Unknown
as USC’s! In Dungy’s final year his Colts are sort of -eh. All but mathematically eliminated from the play-offs Peyton Manning will bring some heat, enough to inspire some spectacular plays from the Steelers. Whether Rothlisberger or Leftwich play is no big deal They’ll still dink around enough and have good enough field position to stay close.

Kansas City at San Diego – This is a for sure cruddy game of the week contender. Was saves it is the way the Chiefs hung tough before they figured out a way to lose it last week. The Chargers looked to have the AFC sewed up but let two badly officiated games wreck their entire season. Clearly no one has enough of a voice in the locker room to get these guys to straighten out. This will be dismal.

San Francisco at Arizona – RAH! The Cardinals as overwhelming favorites? The Cardinals in first Coffy place!?! Even if it is the woeful west the Card’s look potent enough to blow the crazed 49ers out of the park. I loved Mike Singletary as a player. I thought he was doing a decent job as an assistant coach but, man, he went berserker in his debut as an HC. I can’t see the lackluster Niners responding to his intensity. Not even his defense.

New York Giants 31 at Philadelphia 28 – Co-Game of the Week. The Giants are starting to look indomitable. But the Eagles are desperate to make the play offs, an honor they think they deserve. The Eagles will leave the game with their hearts bleeding in their hands. The Giants will play that same dull football that with its machine like boredom should prevail in the last two minutes. I’d love to see the Eagles get crazy and win this but it seems a bit beyond them. Even with Westbrooke healthy and re-tuned Desean Jackson is too leery to be totally dependable in a game when he needs to be firing.

After you finish admiring the keen logic and sheer brilliance of this magnificent picks I’d point out that a woman, a mere girl, a neophyte who’s been following the game for almost 3 years has matched me consistently even though I’ve been playing and coaching the game most of my life . . . so these are clearly for amusement only – meaning its okay to laugh at me. Just not too loud.
I still have a very tough puppy.

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