I’m not a genius; I’m just a tremendous bundle of experience R. Buckminster Fuller

Cruxificion of the Goddess
Click images for desktop size: “Crucifixion of the Goddess” by Unknown
Some torpid news yesterday.
We’d been buying special gluten free oats for oatmeal and stuff but it turns out that my friend is still having bad allergic reactions.
My only food restrictions are fat and sugar and that causes me some minor distress. My friend can’t Sex Kittens Go To College eat wheat, gluten and now oats. Kind of sucks.
My little blind dog couldn’t have wheat, beef and who knows what else. He’d go crazy if he got any. Somebody needs to make a pill. That’s the American way isn’t it?
I was also pretty dismayed to see that the USA General in Iraq is refusing to comply with Obama’s demand for troop withdrawal. Its nice to know that Bush has succeeded in turning the US into a South American puppet government. This appears to be the start of a junta. Obama is crazy if he doesn’t have the guy relieved from duty the second he takes office. I’d think that having him charged with treason, mutiny and a few other charges wouldn’t be out of line.
Yesterday we got the tree up. That’s great fun. The dogs are fascinated but then disappointed because they’re not allowed to eat the ornaments.
I still like it. I like remembering the friends who gave us the stuff. I liked the copper ornament that the little blind dog gave us. I like it Lights Of Christmas
Click image: “Lights of Christmas” by Unknown
Nearly finished vacuum sealing all the doggie secret Santa gifts. The stickers look nice but don’t stick to the packages real well. We’ll figure something out.
No one came to my puppy’s Christmas party. Last time I let her handle the invitations. She didn’t care. She had fun.
There’s another 3 inches of snow on the ground this morning with more expected. I have become the master of the snow shovel.
My friend gave her spare snow blower to our new neighbors as aSanta Dog
Click images for desktop size: “Santa Dog” by Unknown
bribe really to get them to take care of the 30 yard driveway that leads to both of our houses. The neighbors still perplex me. That means I don’t think I like them but have only a few reasons not to. The guy is a rude jerk so that’s easy to explain away. He is a total jerk.
His wife is pleasant but I keep getting a nasty tang of insincerity. She’s a bartender or a bar maid at a local rather scuzzy bar. Its honest work but she shows all the signs of being a heavy drinker. Maybe that’s what I’m reacting to. My own innate prejudices.
Or there’s a good chance she’s a jerk too. But we have seen her at two of the dog walks which is normally enough to warm me to almost any person. And I do like their dog. It upsets the husband that the dog likes me. He yells at it when it comes up to say hi and never acknowledges me. He’s,Superman And Santa Claus like I said, a total jerk. I keep trying to keep things amenable. At least to the point of them calling the fire department if the house is on fire.
But now the snow blower my friend gave them is frozen to the ground!
Today I watch football and I plan to make cookies. CHRISTMAS cookies. I was going to make Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies but with my friends revelation . . . I could still make them and just keep them all for myself! Most likely I’ll make the coconut flour cookies. They’re okay too.

Last week my courageous picks resulted in me going 8-8! An impressive display of guts and risk taking on my part. My friend played all the safe picks, made all the easy choices and ended up an embarrassing 10-6.
My friend is not a Christmas music nut, but she is fond of one song: “Little Drummer Boy”.
To teach her a lesson I managed to find about 30 versions of the tune. With I’m finished with her she’ll never want to hear “rump a tum rum” ever again! That’s her penalty for trying to look like she is beating me in NFL picks!

The Harry Simone Choral did the original “Little Drummer Boy”. When I was a kid and driving around with my mother they would play it ad nauseam on the radio.
Which is why its cool that my peers have done what they could to renovate, some might call it destroy, this little ditty. Tech band Low’s version of the drummer song turns the tune into a trance Elemental by Skywalker
Click images for desktop size: “Elemental” by Skywalker
dirge. Not very tasty but appropriate somehow.
Heavy metal guitarist, Gary Hoey had a surprise hit album of Christmas music. He basically played heavy distorted guitar over jams of Christmas tunes. It was so successful he had to do a sequel! Here’s Gary Hoey’s metallic take on the drummer boy song.
Steve Vai noticed Hoey going platinum so he organized a bunch of hard rock guitarists to do the same thing. The Merry Axemas albums are interesting but not very. Guys like Steve Stevens, a fine guitarist who kind of blew his chances by taking the quick and easy path with Billy Idol kind of typifies the album. For the most part each track starts off with some delicate and fine playing before it suddenly just rips into a loud more or less formless jam. Alex Lifeson does our featured track. Not much more to say than that other than I would hope that some part of this Something Weird record went to a charity or something. No mention of it but one can hope.
One thing my search discovered is that Joan Jett is still in business. I still remember her from the Runaway days where Kim Fowley and Rodney Bingenheimer were promoting them. Fowley to continue making money and fame and Bingenheimer because he’s a lonely guy looking for love or a reasonable facsimile. Jett was the most talented musician in the band. Now it seems she even has her own record label and has produced a new sampler of the bands she’s signed! Cool. We have the lady herself Joan Jett doing “Little Drummer Boy” replete with fat barre chords!
Next up is the 60’s band who had the big hit with “Wimoweh” – the lion sleeps tonight song. The Tokens’ version of the drummer boy is kind of sweet. The soaring falsetto takes over at times and moves the tune back into a primal mode.
The Dandy Warhols, of all groups, did an interesting cover. It still sounds like the Dandy’s too. That’s fine by me.
No song is any good unless you can make it into a rollicking surf tune! Los Straitjackets prove that wrestling masks, surf guitars drums and Christmas rock.
But I’ve save the best two versions for last.
The Little Drummer Boys by Mike Watt and the Crew of the Flying Saucer was, I thought, the most insane version of this track I’d ever heard. And how could you not love a band name like that! But then I heard something better. A coolness not heard of since Hal Blaine or Sandy Nelson Dusty Watson Complex leaves no doubt that the most dangerous weapon in the world is still a simple trap kit and the willingness to take no prisoners.
Click images for desktop size: “Snowflakes” by Unknown

And now to week 16 of the NFL.
My picks are in bold.

Indianapolis at Jacksonville – As the NFL plays out it string more and more of the games are the sheerest tedium. The NFL should follow baseballs lead and use these dead games to highlight new players, try some new strategy. Instead its just the same boring plays that having worked for 14 weeks but maybe they will now . . . that wasn’t the case for the Jaguars Thursday, but only because of the tremendously moving appearance by Richard Simmons in a wheelchair. They played spirited football like they should have played all season. They lost because Peyton Manning doesn’t care about opponents teammates or gutty performances. He only cares about winning and getting to the Superbowl. I wrote the Colts off 10 weeks ago. With the win they clinched the wild card. Show to Bug Bunny Christmas go, shows to go . . .

Baltimore at Dallas – The Cowboys are choking big time while the Ravens have that glint of desperation that just might carry them through into the playoffs. Superstars bickering vs aging superstars looking for a collision, looking for the hit to end it all. The choice is clear to me even though the Cowboys are pretty heavily favored. Game of the week contender.

Arizona at New England – Matt Cassel played brilliantly following the death of his father. He plans to finish the season the same was a s a tribute to his dad. That’s a powerful mojo. The only hope the Patriots have is to win out. Arizona is already in the playoffs, even has at least one home playoff game their first in like 35 years. So Larry Johnson and Arrington are going to sit out this meaningless game . . . The Cardinals haven’t won a game on the East Coast this season. Can’t expect much effort from them here.

San Diego at Tampa Bay – Coaching had probably cost the Buccaneers their shot at the playoffs. Pin it all on Jon Gruden and bizarre strategy in back to back must win games, both of which they lost. The Buc;s aren’t eliminated. The Chargers were everybody’s pick to go to the SuperBowl the minute Tom Brady went down. Now they The Sandman Maxfield Parrish
Click images for desktop size: “The Sandman” by Maxfield Parrish
are fighting to get to .500. They’ve no heart and never should have fired Marty Schottenheimer.

San Francisco at St Louis – Until Mike Singletary took over the 49er’s this was a early pick for cruddy game of the year. Right now you’d have to think the Niner’s would be idiots to not make Singletary the permanent HC. With what he has done with this team in 3 weeks is astounding. They are playing hard edged football, entertaining football. The idea of them having a few draft picks and a training camp is scary stuff. The Rams are hoping not to get relegated to a lower league.

Pittsburgh at Tennessee – After four freakish wins they’re call ing the Steelers the “Team of Destiny”. I see it as inept officiating that has only gone against the Steelers once. This is going to be a good game, especially with Haynesworth out for the Titans. These teams will probably meet againStrange Bedfellows in the playoffs. Having Haynesworth out will help the Titans in that game more than it will hurt them in this one. The Titans will not be able to run or pass the ball very consistently. Even without Haynesworth the Steelers haven’t been moving the ball well at all. Unless the ref’s decide to cheat again I think the Titans win a squeaker. Oh yeah, game of the week.

Cincinnati at Cleveland – Cruddy game of the week. Sad really. Both teams looked so promising coming out of camp. Taking the Bengals because, well, why not. Nobody has anything in this one. Slight edge to the Browns for their defense and ball hawking but the offense will cough the ball up as much as they take it away.

Miami at Kansas City – I’m taking the Dolphins because, well, its just common sense really. But the Chiefs aren’t looking good but they’ve gotten more dangerous. An upset wouldn’t surprise me here. I still expect it to be close.

New Orleans at Detroit – The Bears gamesmanship cost the Saints Reggie Bush and their season. Dru Brees is still looking like he’s going for the Hall of Fame and against the Lions that should be enough. In fact the Lions only real hope is that the Saints are so heartbroken about their Elysia by T Hecker
Click images for desktop size: “Elysia” by T Heckler
season that they forget to show up.

Houston at Oakland – Cruddy game of the week contender. The Texans are not looking better. they’ve been lucky and played teams that have given up. Like the Raiders this week.

Buffalo at Denver – Here’s a game so dull I don’t even want to think about it. Lynch should get some big yards. Trent Edwards is due back but its hard to figure how shaky he’ll be. Jay Cutler is all the Broncos have and probably all they’ll need n this one.

New York Jets at Seattle – The Seahawks stink but I’m nervous about Favre playing in a hostile environment. He could throw four picks in this one. Which still wouldn’t be enough for the Seahawks to win.The Great St Louis Bank Robbery

Philadelphia at Washington – The Redskins have rolled over and learned to play dead. The Eagles have a shot at the playoffs. That’s about all I can muster for this snorer.

Atlanta at Minnesota – The Falcons are looking tired. The Vikings aren’t looking good. If they were this would be a game of the week contender. Still Adrein Petersen and the Williams boys will keep the Vikings in it and disrupt the Falcons ground game enough for a home win.

Green Bay at Chicago – A few weeks ago the Packers spanked the Bears. That’s the last game they won/ They’ve looked terrible losing too. The Bears stink but they’re at home and eager to repay the humiliation they suffered. Oddly, the Bears Christmas at Rockefeller Center
Click images for desktop size: “Christmas at Rockefeller Center” by Unknown
have an outside shot at the playoffs.

Carolina at New York Giants – I don’t think much of the Panthers. See the Steelers comment above. Winning games is not the same as having a winning football team. The Giants have looked tired lately, stressed about Plaxico Buress and young receivers not handling the pressure. This is a game they need to right themselves to avoid an early exit from the playoffs.

Veiw these picks at your own risk. Not responsible for any physical damage due to excessive laughter and/or hysterics.

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