| home | archives | links | dog blog | movies | by genre | jukebox | search |

« March 2009 | Main | May 2009 »

April 29, 2009

Only the new born are innocent but we all get older
Jean Pierre Melville

Love Like This by Lavakillu
Click images for desktop size: "Love Like This" by Lavakillu
This weekend suddenly got busy. In a nice way.
Saturday I have eight hours of kit fitting for kids 13 and under. I volunteered my friend to doHillbillys in a Haunted House registration (paperwork) for the kids. The foster puppy will arrive in the area on Saturday morning.
Lots of logistics, kennels to set up, food dishes to shift about. Then the decision on whether the new comer will be up to doing the dog walk on Sunday.
Not a bad time at all unless they stick me on 8 hours of fitting kids for helmets . . . shoulder pads are a lot easier and quicker. Pants and girdles are the easiest. I've got a feeling I'll be doing a lot of helmets . . .

My friend says I was pretty upset Monday about the doctor. She also thinks she understands the doc thinking I was going to slug him.
I didn't feel upset. A little bit down probably. I thought I was being as gentle with the doc as I could be.
Maybe I hide this kind of stuff from myself but not from her. Possible.
One thing that does upset me is Joe Biden appearing at the MPAA dinner. Biden went as the Vice President. He got a standing ovation for calling kids who download music and movies from the internet "thieves".
This is just another step towards Obama's campaign to criminalize kids sharing music.
Criminalizing downloading will save the RIAA and the MPAA serious money. They won't have to hire scum bag PI firms to hack innocent people's computers searching for "illegal" stuff. They'll have the FBI do it for them. I doubt that the FBI will even have to get a warrant to do this. In the UK they're already forcing the ISP's to keep all the logs of everything anyone does on the internet. So do we. London Streets 1888 by TitusBoy
Click images for desktop size: "London Streets 1888" by TitusBoy
Bush's lie was that it was to root out all those millions of terrorists. Nothing political about it they claim. Nobody would ever misuse all this data.
Obviously the FBI has done such a stellar job of removing crime that they have plenty of excess time to go trolling for 14 year olds scarfing down the top 40.
Then the rich jerks would save even more money. They wouldn't have to hire sleazy ambulance chaser lawyers, the US Attorney's office will prosecute the kids. Obama's hired the scummiest of them to train the rest in being even a purer distilled kind of scum. They'll get the kids jail time, probation time. Those services are all standing empty. The US Attorney has locked away all the rapists, child abusers etc and the prisons must be standing empty because everyone has been rehabilitated. Probation officers must be facing being laid off. (Of course America leads the world in having the largest percentage of its population in prison, we must be trying to beat our own record).Gun Crazy
And then the RIAA and MPAA can then ask the judge to award them money for the serious damage these children have done to their business. At twenty bucks a track times a billion or some other wretched formula. Obama himself puts the damage at $350,000 a track. Rah!
When Obama gets his law passed criminalizing the kids I'll boycott every rich musician who doesn't sign off of the RIAA. Like rich guys like Tony Bennett who shockingly claims he isn't rich enough and wants to squeeze even more money out of people who just want to La Liseuse by Fragonard
Click images for desktop size: "La Liseuse" by Fragonard
listen to music.
This really bugs me. If I buy a car and loan it to a friend for the weekend this logic would make me a criminal.
According to the RIAA and the MPAA when I lay down my twenty bucks I haven't bought anything. I don't own the CD or the DVD they do. I can't tape it or make a digital copy of it or let my friends hear it, play it at parties. Blockbuster can charge me to borrow it but I can't loan it for free. I don't know why. Neither do they. They just want all the money for the least amount of money.
They claim that me loaning my CD to a friend costs them thousands of dollars. They're losing money! Well, not losing money just making a bit less but they want it all: No Compromise. Sales aren't dropping becasue we're churning out cruddy product its becasue I think I own something I paid them for.
Silliness that they've spent billions during the last 60 years to turn into law. Unfairness. The rich bullying the poor.
I wish I'd voted for McCain. Not that he'd have been any better but I figure he'd been inept at getting Lost in a Bad World
Click images for desktop size: "Los in a Bad World" by Unknown
this stuff done. He wouldn't have the same deadly proficency that Obama has.
McCain would have hacked off our allies, like Canada, with the same stupidity and ignorance but he'd have been laughed at more than seen as real and threatening.
The comfort of incompetence.

There is something going on out there. I saw this video that I think everyone else in the world has already seen. Its just a little music thing. You can click here to see the YouTube version of this bunch of guys all over the world doing "Stand By Me".
Its exciting and unexpected. It reminds me of why I wanted to play music. Getting rich would have been nice but mainly I wanted to make a joyful noise. I wanted to make people dance. I wanted to be heard. It looks like these guys have the same idea. Its a great mammouth effort. I'm buying the CD becasue the RIAA has nothing to do with them and the music is sweet.

April 28, 2009

What you are is what you have been, what you will be is what you do now
Buddha

Grand Central Station by Ian Foster
Click images for desktop size: "Grand Central Station" by Ian Foster
Yesterday was bright and sunny. It reached 80.
Today it is 57 and pouring ice cold rain.
Gammera the Invincible
I took the dogs out for a shortish walk. Every person who was walking a dog got an advert from me telling them about the wonderful dog walk on Sunday. I started the pitch with the off the wall info that this place is so beautiful that they charge a hundred grand to have a wedding there!
I wonder if anyone of them will show. Their dogs would love it.
I walked the 5 miles to the doctor's office in 43 minutes. It would not have been as fast if I had the dogs with me but it would have been more memorable.The Jolie Family
Click images for desktop size: "The Jolie Family"

It was hot and I was sweaty. From the reaction and movement of the other waiting patients they must have figured I had swine flu. Anyway it got me into an examination room in record time.
While I waited for the doc I had time to read an entire book! It was "Diabetes for Dummies". Interesting franchise. They seem determined to provide instruction for everything.
The doc came in in a rush. He was nervous about something. The man has no chin. Where his chin would have been was quivering. He asked a couple of unimportant although mildly pertinent questions, clearly to calm himself down. He was so nervous I tried to be relaxing.
He sucked it up and then just plunged into it. He pulled up my blood tests. He explained them so fast I couldn't follow anything he said. When I asked for clarification he didn't get much calmer.
The hardest part for him was that my diabetes was out of control. The pills (metformin) that sensitizes my body to insulin was still working fine but the pill that forces my pancreas to produce more insulin was not. My pancreas was producing almost no insulin. Time for me to go on the needle.
He flinched when he said it. As if he was afraid I was going to slug him. I still had the dark glasses In Like Flint by JW MCGinnis
Click images for desktop size: "In Like Flint" by JW McGinnis
on and I was certain that I had my normal blank poker face on so he must have been reacting to something deep inside himself. "I'm afraid you're going to have to start doing injections. It's only one a night. The needles are so thin they don't really hurt. Honest." He said it all in a rush then rared back in his chair pulling as far away from me as he could.
While pulled back he continued, "And there's albumen in your urine. The chemo damage to your kidneys is degenerating. You'll have to take some pills for that. Apropo, no, Avisio for them. To protect them more than anything."
I pulled my chair closer so I could see his computer screen more clearly.
"Boy, my bad cholesterol is super low, isn't it. Sixty really good isn't it?"
"Yes, but your good cholesterol is far too low. The proportion is bad. You seem awfully calm about all this?"The Girls on the Beach
"I kind of knew this was coming. One day. Not happy about it but . . . It will it be Lantus? Is that the insulin injection?"
"Yes. Lantus. I'm putting you on 100 units a day. Increasing it by 10 units a day until the blood sugars get under control. The Lantus could cause further damage to your kidneys."
"I got my dialysis in my future?"
He fumbled before he said, "Most people don't need dialysis even after years of Lantus. You can't promise anything though."
All I could do was nod. He took my blood pressure while he went on to explain all the new procedures and things I'd have to fit into my new daily routine. And all the arcane cabalic rituals I'd have to undertake before I could fill my new prescriptions. One of them is I have to meet with the staff pharmacist. Not to fill the scripts but to have the rules explained to me and to show me how to inject myself. A pharmacist?
My blood pressure was 120 over 60. I was expecting it to be through the roof but it was the best its been in six weeks. I have not the slightest idea what that signifies. The doc ignored my question about it.
So after I start taking the injections I have to check my blood sugars 3 to 5 times a day. That means bleeding 3 to 5 times a day. Two weeks after I start I have to do another blood panel. Two weeks after that I have to go back in and see the doc.
The money for all this worries me the most.
I don't know how I feel about all this. Not happy. Not too upset. Just the grim inevitability of it all. Not even paranoid.
2009 USC Football
Click images for desktop size: "2009 USC Football"
More pills, plus injections plus more blood work is a pretty worst case scenario but at least I ain't dead. I figure bad news here means I'm owed some good luck over there.
I walked home. A lot slower. I passed some youngish girls walking dogs. I figured that a sweaty man wearing shades and ear buds might not come across right so I didn't tell them about the dog walk on Sunday. I wanted to.
On the way home I stopped at the bakery to get some of the cheaper but superior bread and some Halvarti with Jalapeno cheese. The bakery was uncomfortably warm. There was an irate guy there holding a screaming baby. He was shouting at the little old ladies who work there. It seems he ordered some rolls that he was supposed to pick up on Sunday. He didn't. They sold them to someone else. He had it in his head that once he ordered them they belonged to him and they should have held on to them. He hadn't called and told them this. He hadn't paid them anything.
He kept getting louder. The baby kept getting louder and the little old ladies looked warm, Gorgo uncomfortable and frightened.
I was pretty calm and suggested he go outside for a minute and let the baby cool down. He spun on me. I had about five inches on him and I wasn't holding a baby. He took my well meaning advice.
The little old lady thanked me. I said, "For what?"
She said, "I wish Mr Giant Dog had been here! Hem must be so comforting to you."
I explained that the dogs were at home. I never thought of Giant Dog as being comforting, at least not in the way she meant.
At home my friend and I watched another Doris Day movie, "It Happened to Jane". It wasn't very good. The situation was too real to be silly. Jack Lemmon had a good monologue and Kippy's dad Ernie Kovacs, was pretty much wasted. First totally duff Doris Day movie we've watched together. Next up will be "A Touch of Mink" with Day and Cary Grant. Rah!
My friend was beat after her day but she still offered up a lot of sympathy and support. I don't think she appreciated that I'd rather think about the dog walk and kitting up the kids on Saturday.
No problem is so big it can't be ignored.

April 27, 2009

Someone got excited; they had to call the state militia
John Fogerty

Carp
Click images for desktop size: "Carp" by Unknown
It was a pretty unexciting Sunday. But pleasant. I'd forgotten that time can sometimes just be a pleasant thing to just see pass.The Exorcist There aren't ever enough of these moments. I often forget to treasure them. Times where life is just content. It will be short lived and can't be sensibly ignored or taken for granted.
After the bad storms the clouds passed and the sun came out. We drove to the Indian Reservation, did some more light grocery shopping and went to Taco Bell. My friend loves their hard shell vegetarian tacos. I got a bean burrito and a "Beefy Cheesy Melt". Since everything else was vegetarian someone took it upon themselves to make my Melt Beefy-less. It was fine, They made up for the lack of meat by using extra rice. Rice was what I was craving anyway.
When we got back home it was nice enough to sit outside with the dogs. The dogs love me but my friend is "The Mom". Her being outside set them into joyous doggie paroxysms. Like me dogs seldom express joy by sitting still in quiet contentment.
My puppy played with her Kong and pressed it against my friends leg. My friend didn't understand that this meant you were supposed to try and steal it from my puppy. The giant dog bought out one of his squeaky toys and just drove us nuts with that. The gentle dog was the happiest and most active of the bunch. His way of expressing his joy is to bite me. Not painfully, he likes to grab hold of my wrist and just hang on. For whatever canine reason this puts him into a state approaching nirvana.
Clearly no side effects to Saturday's vet visit.
That evening we watched the Doris Day, Clark Gable movie "Teacher's Pet". I discovered that my Midnight Worries
Click images for desktop size: "Midnight Worries" by Unknown
friend is a budding Doris Day fan. She even knows facts about her! I'd never seen more than bits and pieces of the movie before and was surprised at just how good it was. Plenty of surprises and plenty of laughs with just a tinge of bathos, just enough to make you think you were seeing something more worthwhile than an entertainment.
Good movie.
We watched an episode of "Kung Fu". We'd fallen off the ritual. I hold that it was because the last few had been so dire. This one was good. For one thing it had the genius that is Keye Luke in it for even the briefest spell. Even a small amount of Keye Luke is enough to make anything taste better. The episode was "The Arrogant Dragon". Carradine was very effective even though his fighting skill still stinks, his acting ability was clicking at a high level. High enough to hide some bad plot holes and some uncomfortable sexual tension. And my old buddy Jimmy Hong got to play a rat!
What I liked most was the careful acknowledgment of Chinese history. It was surprising and welcome even if scant. Basically they acknowledged the birth of the Tongs as being a result of theThe Hunted Manchu's burning of the Shaolin Temple.
Today I've got my doctor's appointment. I called this morning and they've got my blood test results. I'm out of excuses. I have to get my home test results diary into a readable-by-others shape. This morning my blood pressure was 140 over 90. About ten points higher than is considered safe and about 20 points higher than sis safe for first thing in the morning.
I'm hoping that this can be addressed just through diet. I don't want Stevie Wonder
Click images for desktop size: "Stevie Wonder"
to take any more pills. I want no more pills worse than I want to be able to stop restricting my diet any further. My fat intake is already restricted to 45 grams per day, no sugar, no pork etc. I guess coffee and salt are next on the list.
My blood sugars have been running on the high side of acceptable. Within the parameters. There's a chance I might have to deal with that. I get amazed that my diet has to be so restrictive. I know an older diabetic here, on insulin injections, and I had breakfast with him. He had bacon and eggs! BACON! Sometimes its hard to remember that my diet is restricted as much by the chemo's and their after effects as they are by the diabetes. As much as I don't want more pills I want injections even less. So it goes, Diet, More Pills, Injections in my order of preferences. And I really want none of them.
Next Saturday I have to spend 8 hours kitting out kids. I roped my friend in for 4 hours of registering the kids. Paperwork . . . I'm still pleased she'll be there for part of the day.
Hot Air Balloons
Click images for desktop size: "Hot Air Balloons" by Unknown
Then on Sunday will be the spring dog walk!!
There is little on the appointment calendar that is as much fun as the dog walk, for me and the dogs. This will be the packs third one!

Even though the door is open to the pretty day my puppy has chosen to spend this time inside wrapped around my feet.
I love my puppy. Its nice that its reciprocated. Nicer to know she's not mad about the diet. I've cut all her food in half. She seems no hungrier than usual and she's always hungry.

Congrats to the Men of Troy. Eleven players taken in the NFL draft and 3 of them in the first round! Then Tony Dungy saying that a kid would be crazy not to attend USC becasue SOuthern California is the school that gives you the best chance to succeed!! YOW!

April 26, 2009

May you live every day of your life
Jonathan Swift

Dolphin by AdaptD
Click images for desktop size: "Dolphin" by AdaptD
Took the dogs to the vet yesterday. Everything was fine, except the charges.
I was proud of all three dogs. My puppy did her sterling best to endure what she sees as a horribleDillinger torture. They drew blood. No heart worm, no lyme disease etc.
The only negative was that she's still overweight. Not obscenely so but enough to be concerned. I don't want her to die early or to be in terrible pain when she's older because she's fat. I don't quite now what to do. She's on a perpetual diet, she gets tons of exercise, 1-2 hour walk every weekday, she runs herself ragged in the yard, but she's overweight and I have to do something. I'll figure it out.
My puppy has now been microchipped. She thinks this means she is now bionic.
The gentle dog was sort of amazing. When the vet was drawing blood he rested his head on my fiends lap and smiled up at her so bravely. When it was time for his stomach to be palpitated he put his feet up on the bench to make it easier for the vet.
And then the giant dog . . . at first he wouldn't get on the scale. Soon discovered why. He weighs nearly 100 pounds!! He's still thin. This is still too large to be a lap dog, which is what he thinks he Girl's Day by Vii Lid
Click images for desktop size: "Girl's Day" by Vii Lid
is. When I consider how many times I've had to lift him up to move him from where he wanted to be to where I wanted him to be the deadly pain in my shoulder makes sense.
When the vet drew his blood for his test he nearly fainted . . . He endured the rest of the needles and poking with fear but since I was prepared for him to come bursting through the wall leaving one of those Wile E. Coyote silhouettes behind him I'm even prouder of him trying to be so brave.
We discovered that giant dog actually has a designation within his breed. He's a Royal Standard . . . Since my puppy demands she is Queen of all she surveys the air now seems rife for regal conspiracies, coups and intrigues.
We got a preview of our life to come. To celebrate the good behaviour of the entire pack we took them to get ice cream! I also figured this would be my puppies last treat for a long time.
While waiting for my friend to bring out the ice cream we stood in front and ended up chatting withDr Terror's House of Horror a few people who were fascinated by the three dogs.
My friend bought out the three cups of 2 buck ice cream. She gave my puppy her cup first because that's just the way its done. My puppy gave her ice cream a lick, to claim it obviously and then went over to steal the giant dogs cup! She was laughing and clearly thought this was just the first step to showing who the Royalty was in this house.
When we got home everyone was calm and easy. We went out and did some light grocery shopping. We've finally sworn off the mega Gary Cooper
Click images for desktop size: "Gary Cooper"
chain grocery store. Not only is the store one of the most oppressive atmospheres I've ever encountered, all mega clean sweat shop and greenish fluorescent lights hung from too high but they've stopped carrying the final product we could only get from them.
We got home in time for some incredible winds. I watched some of the trees bend 45 degrees beneath it. Then came the thunder, the lightening and the rain. Surprisingly the lights and electricity never died. I was anticipating it.
Gentle dog was unhappy about this. HE was on his love seat lying rigid with fear, his eyes wide open. He followed me trying to merely survive in a fear induced zombie trance.
My friend gave him some of that natural tension releaser med. I don't think it cut much through gentle dog's fear. He was locked into this scary rigor for a few hours. What snapped him out of it was the stupid cat.
I'd left the door open. It was warm. My friend said the terrible storm was because it had gotten so warm too quickly . . . This may be accurate and true but is still the dumbest thing I've ever heard. How can it possibly get warm TOO quickly!
For some reason the stupid cat decided to come into the house. She was dry! Gentle dog saw her and took off after her, chasing her right out of the house! He calmed down immediately after that From the Age of Fables by Giovanni Caselli
Click images for desktop size: "From the Age of Fables" by Giovanni Caselli
which proves something I guess. At least it shows that for animals hatred is greater than fear.
My friend bought the stupid cat inside and gentle dog ignored her, he'd proven his point. He went back to his quiet gentle animosity and decided he could tackle the world and went back to normal!
I fell asleep on the sofa watching a John Liu movie (bad movie but Liu is still probably the greatest leg fighter ever). Woke up at midnight when my shoulder jolted me out of sleep. Found giant dog was sleeping on top of me. Went to bed about midnight. Combination of snuffling dogs and my shoulder woke me at 4 A.M. I let the dogs out. They stayed out for half an hour. Shoulder aching so decided to stay up.
Doctor tomorrow. I'm going to mention the shoulder even though I know all he'll do is either prescribe a neuropathic pain killer, that I won't take, or refer me to a specialist that I can't afford.

April 24, 2009

Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love
Papa Roach

Engineer's Libido
Click images for desktop size: "Engineer's Libido" by Unknown
I'm really getting bugged by how much Obama is disappointing me. I viewed the guy as the lesser evil, I didn't really support him any other way and yet I am still severely disappointed.The Clutching Hand
I'm not willing to blame him for the economy yet. I don't know enough to tell if his plans are working or if they're just adding to the boondoggle.
What is bugging me is how much Obama has disregarded the people. I keep remembering that he's from Chicago, arguably the city with the most prolific record of organized corruption in American history. Illinois itself isn't very untainted either.
What prompted him to appoint FIVE RIAA lawyers to the Department of Justice. Maybe I am stupid but in my stupid view the DOJ was there to bust criminals. I knew two US Attorneys socially and through work interviewed four others. Opinions of them aside the fact is that their job is going after the bad guys.
The job I was working when I interviewed these guys was crazy but crazy cool too. I was interviewing the worst criminals in Federal Custody. Not Jeffery Dahmer, Charles Manson type criminals but the robbers, the thieves. The producer was looking for stories for a TV series. He Hawkman by DC Comics
Click images for desktop size: "Hawkgirl" by DC Comics
figured that since I was an adrenaline junkie I would get along with hardened career criminals. His theory that criminals were just a sociopathic group of adrenaline junkies. I don't agree with that.
Two guys come straight to mind. They prey on it at times. One guy was busted by the Secret Service for counterfeiting. When they had him he also confessed to 104 bank robberies in a 7 year period. Over 80 of them were single handed robberies.
I mean this guy walked into a bank, looked at all those people and walked out of their with the money. Pretty scary, pretty smart dude. I couldn't do it.
The other guy I remember as being chilled beyond comprehension. Like all of them he was interested mainly in how much money the producer would pay him for his stories. He told some funny stories. None about himself, always about someone else, always stories he had heard from someone else. About 2 months after I saw him he walked out of Federal Custody without permissionThe Cowboy and the Blonde . . . no explanation was ever offered up as to how. He stole a plane and fled to parts unknown. Before he fled its alleged he killed the US Attorney who was prosecuting him. To my knowledge they've never found him.
Now then, the RIAA attorneys practice the lowest kind of law. Its on the same level as those PI lawyers who advertise on late night TV between the Cal Worthington used car ads.
They're used to standing tough in civil court busting pre-teens, The Beatles
Click images for desktop size: "The Beatles"
single moms and grandmothers. Its hard to see a guy who loses cases to grand-moms standing tough against the types of guys I met. They're legal bullies, cowards pretty much. Cowards because they are afraid to view the people they're persecuting as people. Cowards because they refuse to persecute children because they're afraid of going broke. They think their need for cash is greater than society's need to feel secure.
Can you see that kind of low level guy standing tough in front of an organized crime enforcer?
Its evident that Obama is setting things up to give the RIAA what they've always wanted. They're going to criminalize kids swapping music. The RIAA has wanted this since about 1920, back when kids traded 45's at parties and when young kids made audio cassettes to give to the girl they had a Cherry Blossoms at Arashiyama, Kornai Ki (Genki) , 1747-1797
Click images for desktop size: "Cherry Blossoms at Arashiyama" by Kornai Ki
crush on, hoping a pop star could convey to her how much love he felt. The RIAA viewed and views that love sick kid as a despicable criminal for sharing music he bought.
Right now Obama is out there saying he favors $150,000 CRIMINAL fines for kids sharing music files! So it would be smarter for a kid to go shoplift than it would be for him to email the latest Rhianna single to his buddy out of state?
Obama has made it clear that this is one of his primary agendas. He's ignored hundreds of thousands of petitions to stop hiring these RIAA guys. He ignored them and hired a fifth one.
A few days after hiring tis latest RIAA mouthpiece he stated quite firmly that torture was unimportant. He clearly stated that there was no value in his looking any further into Americans torturing people. He said extending resources into looking into one of the hugest blackest momentsCurse of the Faceless Man in American history would distract from his agenda. His agenda appears to be prosecuting instead of protecting children.
I disagree with this. I believe that the Nuremberg Trials where the crimes of the Nazi government where laid bare for the world to see started a process where the world could begin to heal. It showed the banality of evil and showed how clear and simple it would be for us to fall into that deplorable evil all over again. It gave us a sign post and a clear view of what to avoid.
With the little tiny bit we know it becomes clear we're no longer the cowboys in the white hats. We haven't been for my entire life but we like to believe we are. I do.
We tortured people to get them to say what we wanted them to say. We became the bad guys because of a memo. No one has to answer for it.
It won't end there. There's a phrase criminals use to indicate respect. "He's a stand up guy."
It doesn't mean anything about his beliefs really. It has to do with a police torture method that was, probably still is prevalent. They'd cops would handcuff a guy then loop a suspects hands over a door so he had to stand on his tip toes or dislocate his shoulders. Of course they'd pummel him until he "pissed blood". They'd leave him there for as long as they felt. In the cop shop there's no time, nothing but cop time which doesn't have a clock.
There's a cop boss in Long Beach. When he read about the insanely draconian anti-terrorist laws Bush enacted he sprang to use these against the gang bangers. Other cops did to. They, at least in their minds branded the gang bangers as "terrorists" and then used the same techniques that the FBI used against terrorists.
Study Table by William Harnett
Click images for desktop size: "Study Table" by William Harnett
So its far from unreasonable to see some cop reading Bush's torture memos and self righteously figuring that the same rules should apply to him.
I know a lot of cops. A lot of my kids became cops. I still feel that the persons who should most fear the cops are the innocent.
Obama has proven he's going to ignore the people who elected him when it comes to his agenda. I fear we may have re-elected George W Bush, only a smarter, more competent Bush.
Protecting law breakers because they work in Washington is wrong. Protecting people who destroyed our country is wrong. Obama needs to expand his agenda to make sure that this sickness does not ever occur again anywhere in the world so we can walk proud again and not be ashamed of what we are.

Tomorrow the dogs go to the vet. it will be . . . interesting. First time at this vet. Its all annual checkups, shots and needles. I keeping it quiet. The pups wouldn't kill us in our sleep but they wouldDawn of the Dead (French) set all the clocks to the wrong time so we;d miss the appointment.
We're not getting the foster pup tomorrow. Very disappointed. Very frustrating. Just some sort of red tape that has nothing to do with us or the sanity and safety of the dog. It will work out. It has to.
I go to the doctor on Monday. I've got my little diary of blood pressure and blood sugars all kept. I still have to make it legible . . .
The good thing is I have the door open and the furnace off! The dogs are wandering in and out. My pupppy keeps coming in every ten minutes and looking at me then running back out.
I wish this was all there was to staying alive.
My friend was nearly as crabby as I am last night. Her meeting was long and tiresome and capped with a near two hour drive.
She's still my friend. I'm happy about that.
Its funny all the rest of its endurable so long as that one fact remains.
Busy weekend. Vets, dog food, Indian reservations and getting my act together for the doc on Monday. And plenty of movies to see.

April 23, 2009

She's one half rock and the other half roll
Bill Haley

Colorful Variants
Click images for desktop size: "Colorful Variants" by Unknown
The meeting last night was fine. Meeting the other coaches was interesting. For the most part it was pretty boring. Not boring to the point of me falling asleep or even to attempting to balance my pen Chinatown on my nose. Those are things I've done at most meetings. I won't delineate the things I've done that I got away with. I've been in too many of these meetings. Even if they are essential - too many.
From what I saw all the coaches are in it for pretty much the right reasons, for the kids and not to be "the boss". I didn't pick up on any of them having the calling to coaching. They seemed to be in it for the fun, which is possibly the best reason of all.
There were a couple who seemed to have that militaristic thing going but I doubt if its too deeply ingrained. I also doubt that they're into it to the point of berating players for their own shortcomings.
The only scary part came because of of question I asked before the meeting. The question was taken as a suggestion that was seized upon. It had to do with terminology.
Football is loaded with jargon. Middle linebackers are called mike backs or just mike, outside linebackers have become sam bakers and willie backs. Sam after s which stands for strong side (the Castle and Diana
Click image: "Castle and Diana" by DC and Marvel Comics
side the tight end lines up on) and W for weak side linebacker. And those are the more sensible bits of jargon.
All I wanted to do was get on the same page as the the team on the next level. Use the same jargon, the same passing tree and teach the same base package.
The passing tree is just a stick drawing based on a single long line, which represents the fly route-go long- with little branches shooting off representing the different passing routes. They're usually pretty much the same but they can get different names and/or numbers.
The base package are your bread and butter plays. Almost always they start off with the belly plays, the fullback dive up the middle and grows from there. You teach the kids the base package so they learn the fundamentals of execution and then you build your offense around and from them. It possible to go through a season and never actually run any of your base plays. I use them for education primarily.
Taking these elements from the next level gives the kids an edge when they move along. If I calledBrute Force the linebackers bodacious backs when they graduated to the next level they'd stand on the field bewildered when their new coach asked them play willie back instead of just getting into position.
I forgot the level of coaches I was dealing with. Their was an argument about numbering the holes (right are numbered odd, left numbered even or vice versa) and the passing routes (even in routes odd for out routes). We never got to even discussing base Fashion Sex and Politics by S4W
Click image: "Fashion, Sex and Politics" by S4W
packages.
Even though there was an argument it wasn't as violent as a lot I've had to sit on. I had nothing to say. There was no place in that sort of discussion for me to even have an opinion.
It went on from there. The most salient point for me was that I'd have to come up with my own assistants. I need a Defensive Coordinator. All I know about defense is that they always seem to get in the way of my carefully crafted offense!
I've always had top ranked defenses mainly because I've had great DC's and I am glad to stay out of their way. I can coach Defense but I'm not the best at it. I'll still make the occasional suggestion, usually based on what a D will do that really annoys me i.e. it proves to be very effective.
The other great bit is that they told me what I'd get in my coaches kit bag. An agility ladder!! My most favorite tool. Agility hurdles! The rest is pretty bog standard stuff. I have to buy my own whistles. They don't understand that is dangerous. I like to present a front that the kids expect and feel confident in, after that I like to use goofy whistles, bird whistles loopy whistles, things that be heard but get a laugh. I copped the idea from Preston Sturges and his idea of always directing films while wearing a silly hat.
Landscape by Del Sil
Click images for desktop size: "Landscape" by Del Sil
I have to go help the kids kit on May 2nd. EIGHT HOURS! I've already specified I won't do eight hours of helmet fittings. I think they've plenty of guys who can do it as well if not better than I can. Its the most tedious job though and takes time so everybody tries to sidestep it as much as possible. They figure to kit out about 300 kids over the weekend!
Still, I'm looking forward to meeting the kids and looking forward to the day.

It looks like we will have our foster dog on Saturday! Saturday will be a manic day. Our dogs go to the vet at 10 and then we have to buy dog food, a major undertaking.
This will be a different dog then the one we were originally going to home. Its my only complaint, this constant shifting around. Going from one dog to another. Its a minor quibble. I've tried to putCaptive Wild Woman myself in the dog coordinators place and while I can't quite get there I'm sure there's a lot of pressure trying to figure out what dogs can be saved (all of them) and in which dog the dogs can flourish and have the best shot at finding a forever home.
Yeah, mines an incredibly minor quibble.
Last night, when I went to the coaches meeting, the dogs were pretty chilled about it. This morning my friend had to go out of town for one of her money earning meetings - her job - when I went out to open the gate for her the dogs started a horrible pathetic howling and crying. I guess we're only allowed to abandon them once in a 24 hour period. They were pretty happy when I walked back in.
Its rough to figure out how the pack is going to respond to a new number. As individual dogs I don't see any personal issues, but as a group its a hard read.
The breeds seem to include the same no problem status. Especially since there's little question that they perceive me as the leader. They'll accept a newcomer if I do.
Giant dog will be the most difficult. He already thinks the other two take more than there share of the love, love that should all belong to him!
He'll settle in well enough. He always does.
So the only real issue will be how the new guy relates to belonging here. We have to take him to the vet on Wednesday. The break will do a lot to sort out issues in his mind. He'll come back overjoyed.

April 22, 2009

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why
Bernard Baruch

Church
Click images for desktop size: "Church and God" by Unknown
I discovered something rather surprising this morning. Reconstituted powdered milk can go sour!
I guess it makes sense but hardly.Blondie
I use powdered milk in my morning coffee in one of my byzantine money saving schemes. Everyone complains about the price of gasoline but no one is complaining about the price of milk. Here, and this is a rural area with dairy farms not to far away, milk is about five bucks a gallon.
Seems incredibly dear for a staple, a staple that impacts the health of our children. With osteoporosis on the rise and with America's domination of world sports seriously declining (we didn't even make the finals in the World Championship!) and with McDonald's posting a 4% increase in business this quarter I think we have a pretty clear view that we're still not focusing enough attention on nutrition and the needs of our kids.

Yesterday was a sort of lost day. Nothing of note accomplished at all. I realized that today is an anniversary of sorts. It was in 2003 that I entered my second remission. The doc's then said that if Untitled by Clarence Carter
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Clarence Holbrook Carter
all things went well I'd live another six years. A few years later they said the exact same thing. Six years seems to be the time frame they work on.
I'm still going. Maybe a bit slower but still going. I've no idea if this is due to excellent medical care or the fact that I'm incredibly stubborn.

My friend successfully completed her quarter end madness which leaves her open for the ponderous meetings for budgeting this week.
Budgeting is always a big deal especially in not for profits, and more especially for not for profits that's only focus is conserving nature. And most especially in the run up to an economic depression. People look at unspoiled land and think of the beauty of a strip mine, how nice a flock of condo's would look on that majestic bluff. I understand that impulse even as they don't understand my impulse to leave it as it is.The Big Sleep
When I got dragged into rock climbing we used nuts, aluminum chocks developed by Yvonne Chounaird (The Great Coonyard). These chocks didn't harm the rock, once you removed them it was as if they'd never been there. Properly used they're as secure as a piton.
Pitons were never cool but they were all that you had.
Climbs are rated by difficulty. I forget what 1st, 2nd, and 3rd class climbs are, probably hikes. Fourth class climbs are scrambles Dusty Springfield
Click images for desktop size: "Dusty Springfield"
where you need yo use your hands to go up but no technical climbing or equipment is needed. Fifth class is when you start to need gear. It gets crazy from then on going all decimal on you. From 5.0 all the way up to 5.10 (five ten not five one 5.1 Told you it got crazy.) When I was at the tail end of my climbing period there was a movement to add 5.11 (five eleven) or 6th class to the rankings. This was mainly to classify climbs that were probably considered impossible 5 years before.
The fellow who does the first ascent of a route gets to record it in the campground book and report it to Ascent Magazine. They also get to rate the route.
The ratings cause a lot of debate at night. I have to admit that in a sport that's primary enticements are pain and fear the bickering about how difficult a climb actually was safely on the ground was one of my favorite parts of the sport.
Thing is that there was a climb on Sentinel in Yosemite that was rated at 5.9, problem was that so many people had done the climb with pitons instead of nuts that the constant placing and removal of Ensnare by Shadowness
Click images for desktop size: "Ensnared" by Shadowness
the pitons had scarred the crack the route followed so severely that there was now a rock ladder leading to the summit. The piton scars were so deep it was possible to stick the toe of your boot into them and a 5.9 climb was degraded to a 5.2.
It was worse on desert climbs. Yosemite is granite, the desert is sandstone.
That's always my biggest fear. That a 5.11 planet is gradually being degraded to a 5.2
Surfers all have our stories. Sitting out at your favorite point break and suddenly realizing your sitting in the middle of a 200 yard wide pool of raw sewage. Or that time down south when the ocean was suddenly thick with empty used hypodermic needles, needles you saw stuck in the thick hides of the harbor seals. Harbor seals can be aggravating but never to the point where I wanted to stick needles in them.
Every surfer knows at least one guy who caught hepatitis from stuff that we've dumped in the ocean. And we've all had days where the beach was black balled not because of outrageously highBonnie Scotland surf but because some George Bush supporting company had dumped mega tons of toxic chemicals in the ocean that would kill, blind or skin you.
This was going on for a long time before Al Gore "invented" global warming. Anyone who's stood on top of a rock in Joshua Tree and looked out at the Salton Sea has watched the clouds of yellow pollution drift in from L.A. Clouds that ring and touch the stones and ground as nastily as a leaky pen in your shirt pocket.
Now the Arctic caps are melting, by miles now instead of feet and it keeps happening.
Today is Earth Day. I feel about that the same way about that as I do about "Be Kind To Animals Week". I mean, who would ever be mean to animals? Who would be stupid enough to throw litter out of cars and destroy the place where you have to live the rest of your life? Why do we need to remind ourselves to not be cruel heartless jerks? It does not speak well for us.
It does make me even prouder of my friend that she's sacrificing in her paycheck to help us not be so stupid.

Just got a call from the team manager making sure I'd be at the meeting tonight. Its nice to be wanted.
I've got my list of equipments and my questions all ready. I'm mildly excited. I still don't really want to be an HC but it will pay off for the team and for me, I'm certain.

April 21, 2009

Come on baby and take a chance; lets dance
Chriz Montez

Crimson Dawn by Spargett
Click images for desktop size: "Crimson Dawn" by Spargett
With constant disk repair and running a full series of diagnostic and repair tools I'm keeping the iMac running. Running acceptably.Attack of the Crab Monsters
That's good because I'm going to need this thing to get ready for the season. I want to start prepping a playbook and do those other "coacherly" things. I used to be impressed when I'd go to pre-season coaches meetings and I'd see a coach there with a 4 inch binder over filled with his playbook. I always figure that this was one heck of of coach, a lot better than I could ever be. Then our teams would meet in the season and we'd beat them 80-0.
I never figured it out. I have a good friend who coaches O-Line at a Bob Dylan
Click images for desktop size: "Bob Dylan"
high school. He has a 400 page playbook! But its not really a playbook. It has some O-Line plays in it but the book is mainly a preparation, a how to book on the theory of playing the Line, dietary and strength needs. The whole shebang.
Each season he says he has to throw out about 100 pages and maybe add in 50 or sixty. Now he's a coach who's a lot better than I'll ever be.
See, I don't know how to prepare a playbook until I see what kind of kids I have. This Saturday a couple of coaches were waxing rhapsodic about how much they love the pulling guard. The pulling guard is where, for example, you would get your right guard to run down to the left side of the line and turn forward and block so you have an extra surprise blocker for your running back. I agree that it is a pretty play. In all my years of coaching I've only had one guard who had the speed to reach his assignment.
The coaches talked some more about the difficulty in getting their tackles alert enough to know to pick up any backside pursuit. A defensive end could read the pull and follow it. Their solution to having slow guards was to give the Running Back some extra steps in the backfield so that he couldn't get to the proposed hole until the guard got there.
I won't ever coach against these guys which is good. I hope that this attitude is prevalent throughout Angel Fish
Click images for desktop size: "Angel Fish" by Unknown
the league. When I see a slow guard pull the call is simple. You have the Defensive end hold his position which nullifies the tackle looking for back side pursuit, the middle line backer shadows the pulling guard and the Strong Safety pursues the pulling guard on a run blitz.
In college and high school ball that should either stop the play for no gain or limit it to 3 yards. At this level it should result in a three yard loss and 40% of the time a turn over.
If I get lucky and get a running back with that much speed I'll use cross blocking to open up seams and pound him up the A and B gaps for 4 yards a clip all day.
If I've got a guard who can turn and cover 4 yards in the time it takes my running back 7 yards I'll run a couple pulling plays to set up the decoy and go opposite and use the full back to pick off the Defensive End while the TE knocks off the Sam Backer.
And if I don't have players who can remember all that we just do straight ahead blocking and run aBeast From Haunted Cave spread like running game.
Thing is I like a wide open game. I like 50 yard passes on the corner route. But if I've got a QB who can only throw the ball twenty yards I sort of have to adapt and do something different.
I never saw the job of coaching as being something to please myself. I think of it as a chance to give kids their best opportunity at success. I can't figure out what method that might be until I've seen what the kids can do and what they like to do.
Sure I try to get my QB to throw 50 yard lasers. I try to get my RB's to run 4.2 forties. But if they can't my job is to figure out what we can do with the talent they have.
The only thing I can use to justify my unconventional approach is to say that in the last 10 years of coaching my teams have led their league in scoring 9 times and in total yardage 8 times. I've always been incredibly lucky in the talent that's been entrusted to me to teach so maybe if I went in with a system already planned out and fit the kids to the system the kids would have been even Brunette by Archie Dickens
Click images for desktop size: "Brunette" by Archie Dickens
more successful. I don't really know.
I've got my list of stuff I need for the first practice: 2 stop watches 3 whistles, a ladder, some cones and some step over blocks. And some bodies to fit in the whistles and stop watches. A Defensive Coordinator would be nice too.

My friend got home at 7:15 last night. That puts it at a 32 hour day. She survived it pretty well.
The month stays pretty rough with a new boss, budgets etc. She gets a couple weeks off in May. We're going to pain the porch. Probably being ably assisted by nosey dogs.
We actually watched a Zatoichi movie! I'm mildly surprised she's become a Shintaro Katsu fan. This was the eleventh Zatocihi film and there's no denying that Katsu has definitely worked incredibly hard on developing the character. He's made a sad, funny and never pathetic creature. His sword fighting in this one is very good. Its easy to believe that the carnage is being perpetuated by a blindApocalypse Now man. I think bathos is more enjoyable than pathos and bathos always works best when its resolved with gallons of stage blood.

I've checked my puppy's email. I was amazed that she had nearly one thousand. All from kids in hospitals. They don't get to see much spring in the hospital.
I made up a maze game for her site. I thought it would be a quick and easy thing to do. It took me six weeks and five drafts. The final thing had 28 layers! Normally I'm amazed to get 4 or 5 layers in a picture. I'm glad the kids like it. Much gladder than I am sad that they are where they are.
The main crux of their emails is that we need to have more adventures!
I also notice that a lot of the kids thank my puppy but almost none even acknowledge I exist! The few that do think I should give my puppy more ice cream . . .

My health feels better. The old complaints are not improving. They'll bug me but not inhibit me, I think. No doubt they'll improve just enough so I can be uncomfortable but still able to do all the porch painting . . .

April 20, 2009

Going to turn it on, wind it up, blow it out little GTO
Gary Usher

A Day in the Park by George Serault
Click images for desktop size: "A Day in the Park" by George Serault
It's been a pretty eventual set of days. Shape shifting days. All for the good, I think.
The biopsy came back. It was negative.Alone in the Dark
That's pretty good. Pretty good. That puts my remission at just shy of 21 months. That's the longest remission I've ever had. I guess that makes me a record holder.
After the trek to the oral surgeon and that bit of news my friend dropped me at the blood lab. I was feeling light headed from the fast and absolute lack of coffee. They took 6 little tubes and one big one. Then the creepy urine sample.
I was talking to the blood taker. She was slick and professional but Buck Owens
Click images for desktop size: "Buck Owens"
seemed a touch preoccupied. She's being tested for Hodgkins Disease.
Not a pleasant future, Hodgkins Disease. I said a few consoling words but cut myself short when I flashed at how I felt about "comforting words".
She made a point of saying goodbye to me so I guess its alright.
After giving up the blood I broke the fast with a cup of coffee. Made me feel better, at least I felt that I could make the walk home.
On the walk I ran into a guy. About my first day in town I ran into him before. He was out walking his dog and slipped. Busted his head open pretty good. That day I would have walked past because he was already surrounded with sympathetic types at least one who appeared to know what he was doing, or at least he was doing pretty much what I would have done.
I only got involved because he had this little dog, a beagle mix, maybe a pure bred. My friend and I Aquatic Beauty by Titusboy
Click images for desktop size: "Aquatic Beauty" by TitusBoy
hashed out his address and took the scared little thing home.
The guy had no real memory of me but he remembered that day. We walked and chatted about dogs a bit before he turned to go home. The dog jumped on my leg for a pet then waddled away.
On Saturday I went to the "Equipment Fitting Seminar". It was as dull as I expected. The people attending were interesting. There were even a few players who were there to act as mannequins. I liked the people I met.
There was one thing I'd never seen before. A new helmet strapping configuration for little kids.
Its not more simple, its actually a pretty complicated system. I can't see how it would protect the kids any better but then I can't understand the different types of plastic they use in little kid helmets either.
After the equipment fitting we went to the animal shelter. We walked in fine but when I asked to see Captain Marvel a dog they said that we were too early! It was after 10.
So we went to a restaurant for breakfast. The place was an old favorites of my friend, even though it had been years since she'd been there she glowed in hungry anticipation.
Her food was excellent. We watched it as they accidentally sent it on a tour of all three floors of the restaurant. Even then it was still warmer than mine.
Hers was excellent. I managed to pry a couple of mouthfuls from her. Mine was horrible. Cold yet somehow over cooked in some places and undercooked in others. Even her fruit salad was better! She got all sorts of different fruit while I got one piece of papaya and 3 hunks of flavorless melon!
I figure they remembered her ad disliked me for keeping her away for so long . . .
Finally we got to see a dog. We took a big Burmese cross out for a walk. The dog was fascinating. As overjoyed as she was to be outside of the kennel she was still constantly aware of us. It appeared that she was merely ignoring us but when my friend walked to a garbage can the dog froze and watched and did not move until my friend returned.
Surf
Click images for desktop size: "Surf" by Unknown
I tried an experiment. I went and walked around a full pine tree so I'd be out of sight. Sure enough the dog froze. She sat right in front of my friend and stared at her as if to say, "Now's our chance! We can escape from him!" It was that sort of day for me.
Sunday was brighter, although not so warm and furry.
The coordinator from the Rescue Group came for our interview. Our dogs were incredibly well behaved. I was proud of them. She stayed for well over two hours. We'll have out first foster next Saturday or Sunday.
I couldn't be happier.
Or so I thought.
Just after the coordinator left I got the call from the football team. I'm the new Head Coach for the 12 year old squad.
I really didn't want to be an HC but it will make some things easier while adding a lot more Body Snatcherswork. On Wednesday is the coaches meeting where they'll lay out the schedule. I'll find out about equipment and if I can get a couple of bodies to run stop watches and to be eyes.
My friend has volunteered to be my clip board. Some of you know how I like to walk around and bark down observations. Its better to bark them out then to squiggle them on a pad. Mainly because 10 minutes after practice my notes are suddenly indecipherable.
I've already started mapping out the first practice so I can make a definitive list of equipment I can ask about.
I plan to tell them about "STAR" (Strength, Tenacity, Agility, Remembering) while they're running.
My goals for the team in the first season will be: 1) To have fun 2) To learn more about football 3) To learn what it means to be part of a team 4) Win the Championship and in that order. If we do the first three well the fourth will automatically happen.
My friend was awake all night working on her Qtr end stuff. I'm not happy about that but I guess better up all night at home than at the office.
She's been using the MacBook with Parallels to do the Citrix stuff. So far its been working pretty well, except this morning Windows XP crashed! It didn't even take down Parallels, just your basic stupid Windows crash.
The decent part was that it crashed in the middle of a save. The nights work was able to be recovered.
She went into the office. I'm worried about anyone being up all night and then being in an office on a rainy day.
My computer continues to limp along, now the console is throwing up wird kernel missed interrupt errors . . .

April 17, 2009

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing
Socrates

Princess of the Day
Click images for desktop size: "Princess of the Day" by Unknown
Yesterday it was warm enough to leave the house door open. The gentle dog went to work with my friend, that meant the giant dog and my puppy were here and able to come from outside to inside at 4 Flies on Grey Velvet their whim.
Odd side effect; I started to notice that ever ten to twelve minutes my puppy would come inside, look at me and then trot back outside.
It didn't matter what she was doing always she came back inside to see if I was still there. Maybe she just wanted to see if I was Elizabeth Taylor
Click images for desktop size: "Elizabeth Taylor"
passing out pork chops or bacon. I don't know.She could have been bird watching, bark fighting or just running around tormenting the giant dog but she'd just stop and come rushing inside, look at me and then run back outside.
Considering the day started out with her following my friend and gentle dog to the car, jumping into the car (she hates cars) and then refusing to leave, determined to go for the ride, I don't know what to make of it at all.
There's a new wrinkle to the foster dog quest. The chow/shepherd mix we were going to take in is pregnant!
She's nine months old. I get a pretty grim image of her young life. There's no certification but it seems to me she'd have had to get pregnant during her first heat. General attitude is that its best for a female dog to be spayed before her first heat. This greatly reduces the possibility and probability of several fatal diseases including some cancers.
The people who had this dog, who shortly thereafter gave the dog away on a website classified site Pin Up by Suzanne Meunier
Click images for desktop size: "Pin Up" by Suzanne Meunier
either intentionally bred the too young dog or else they were so neglectful they left the girl in a position to be bred.
I feel the same way about this as I did when I saw a twelve year old girl pushing a pram on a London estate. I asked her if she was watching her brother and she informed me that the baby in the pram was her son. I was well known on that estate and the next day the little girl's mother came to see me about her child joining my sports club. The mother of the mother was closer to twenty-five than to thirty. She dressed to meet me. She'd seen me on TV or something so she dressed in her best. Even though it was ten in the morning she was kited out in her best all night rave gear. (The little girl mom became a gifted high jumper.)
I feel sad for the chow/shepherd mix. We're willing to take her in and keep her until she and her The Adventures of Robin Hood puppies are adopted. Not without serious reservations and heart skipping and a tiny bit of sly joy at being surrounded with puppies. The people who fostering her now are willing to keep her until the puppies are weaned. They also note that the people who surrendered the girl to the kill shelter reported a lot of bad behaviour. They've had the girl longer than they did and they see not an inkling of the reported behaviours.
Since they're willing to give the girl a home it seems better for her to not have her moving around. A poor young dog about to give birth, lost in confusion and not having any place to go to understand needs some stability, I think. It just seems better for her not to have to readjust to a new home.
I'm disappointed slightly, for me, but think its best for her.
In the meanwhile the foster dog coordinator will be here on Sunday. We'll get clear on the fact that we're willing to foster the most at risk dogs so long as they don't try to savage our guys forever and ever.
Unknown
Click images for desktop size: "Unknown" by Unknown
Tomorrow is my first coaches meeting. Looking forward to it. Hopefully they'll be a bit closer to my role. I don't mind being a head coach but I'd prefer working a position.
I've been running through first day practices both ways in my head. Most often in the shower. I'd like to get things firmed down so I can move beyond first day! Practice starts on April 22nd for the summer league.
I figure the first day will be in getting some measurables; forty times and such. If I've got linemen then we'll also get standing high jump numbers. Kids like prove of improvement. So do adults.
Then some group SAQ drills so I can assess the kids and see where they need improvement. That should about run them to death. Then some helmet only football drills mainly for assessments to lay out a plan and to see what sort of scheme the kids might be able to learn and implement.
I chatter at them during drills and its from the chatter that I start to form my psychological assessment. Not only to see who can be relied on in crunch time but how they're going to cope withSomething Weird life on and off the field.
Maybe not the best way but its the only way I know how.
Right now I don't even know if I'll let them call me by name or ask them to call me coach. It always depends.

My friend is home sick now. I have a hare brained theory that the pressures of her Qtr end and other work related things are what cause her to breakdown. She can handle a lot. (Hey, she can cope with me and that ain't easy).
I have to bumble on with prep for the weekend (coaching, visiting animal shelter, getting some hardware to repair some fences, foster coordinator and doggie playtime) and to do my best to be an inept nurse.

I do note with sadness that the guys from the Pirate Bay have been found guilty. This is not shocking. Freedom has to be fought for. They're fighting. But the RIAA and MPAA's wins are just bad for consumers and the world. Another step toward corporate take over of our lives.
I never cared much for the Pirate Bay. Never used it but I liked that it existed and will continue to exist.
The ridiculous sentence did not include ordering the site shut down.
I also note that for every loss their is a victory. Time Warner has abruptly backed off on the insane pricing plans. They haven't given up but have seemed to want to wait till October before going ahead. Probably figure they need to buy off a few more senators.

April 16, 2009

Argument is meant to reveal the truth, not to create it
Edward de Bono

Night And Day by Michael Parkes
Click images for desktop size: "Night and Day" by Michael Parkes
On Tuesday for some reason I decided to wash my phone. In the washing machine with my jeans. I don't understand why I next decided to dry it in the dryer, with my jeans.
When Women Had Tails I heard something clunking around in the dryer but put it off to heavy jean zippers. It wasn't until I emptied the dryer that I started to find all the parts of the phone. Four of them to be exactly.
As my phone is the cheapest Samsung model made, free, sort of, with a pay as you go plan, I didn't have much hope but I Robert Mitchum
Click images for desktop size: "Robert Mitchum"
reassembled it anyway and I was surprised that it worked just as well as it did before.
There's some peculiar stippling on the screen but everything is still legible. I figure the stippling adds character and will be prove positive, should it ever be stolen or lost, that its my phone.
Comforting. I now have a bit of respect for Samsung.
This goes along with me not getting my blood work done today. The doc told me it was necessary to fast for twelve hours before the test.
I have to take four pills a day with food. Every morning I convince my body that coffee is food and I take two of the pills with coffee. Works fine. The doc insists that coffee is NOT food.
Last night I started the fast. Not that big a deal. This morning I went to the lab and was told I had not been fasting as I had a cup of coffee.
August Night Fire by Moving Insect
Click images for desktop size: "August Night Fire" by Moving Insect
This does not upset me as much as it pleases me. I now have proof that coffee is food and my pill regime is totally justified and with expert testimony!

I've been asked why I spend some much time worrying about chambara flic's like those of Kenji Misumi.
I think Misumi is a world class filmmaker. As much an artist as anyone can be who makes movies. I think that in understanding his movies we come closer to understanding parts of ourself and parts of others that were previously dark and maybe hidden. A part of humanity that no other filmmaker is dealing with or at least not dealing with so clearly and concisely and intentionally.
I think that we all relate to movies and art based on a lot of different factors. One of the most important ones, right after being entertained, is identification. Identifying with a situation, a fantasy or hope but most often with a character.The Woman Who Needed Killing
If you look at the top grossing movies, something like the "Titanic" the first movie to do a billion bucks in business, shows the identification factor pretty well. Men related to DiCaprio, king of the world, dying frozen, sacrificing himself for love, a selfish sacrifice that will forever lock his pale features into her brain and extol their love to mythic proportions at least to her. Women related to the lady being old and rich having that golden memory to cling to, a memory crystalized in a trinket.
I hated the "Titanic".
I feel the same way about Misumi's films. His lead character's provide me with something I can relate to; a character with no hope who refuses to die. What this says about my mental state compared to a guy who wants to die gloriously frozen in the dark Atlantic doesn't seem worth speculating about.
The fact that most of Misumi's resolutions seem to be that the lead simply kills everybody is the fantasy element and the entertainment part of the equation.
What is fascinating is how each character arrives at his moment of despair, the time when he discovers his dreams are gone, and with the dreams gone so is his life. And the fact that the lead has to think through and discover a solution to not dying is instructional.
A character like "The Mute Samurai" who merely goes mad and decides he has to make enough Old Mill by Maxfield Parrish
Click images for desktop size: "Old Mill" by Maxfield Parrish
money to go to Spain and kill holds almost no interest to him. The blind Zatoichi who fights to keep his humour and his vision of a world at peace and in proper order are his main interest.
His Ito Ogami who seeks reprieve by adhering closely to the tenets of bushido, rightness and politeness interest him, that the man stays sane in the face of lies and duplicity and condemnation is his meat. Staying this righteous, sane and pure enables Misumi's heroes to have the strength, mindset and ability to destroy small armies single handedly.
Misumi understands he needs to show us this blood letting power in a way that lures us into the tale and does not turn us away in horror, hence he constructs his bloody flowers of overwhelming peace extolling a loveliness of death and carnage.
So after seeing a minor Misumi film, such as his modern "Sword" where a kendo student seeks absolution in the glory of steel as opposed to wood, I leave the viewing with a different sense of the world around me and the people who inhabit it. I always thought, I was taught, that this is the main function and aspiration of all "art".Zombies of the Stratosphere

Yesterday was Tax Day. I'm chagrined about all these Tea Bag protests. Seems silly even as Roger Ailes tried to hype them as significant. Ailes is all about the dollar. His plan to try and get a grass roots thing going smacks of the loser tactic that has been in place since Caesar.
I forget that as stupid and transparent as these sorts of scams are every millennia or so they actually work. So I can't really be surprised that a rich white guy would try this silly stunt.
I wish people were protesting real things though. I'm sickened that Obama is fulfilling some of my worst nightmares. He's loading the DOJ with RIAA attorneys, the worst scum bag lawyers in existence are getting power.
Time Warner, the scuzziest of the mass media companies wants to restrict people's access to knowledge and information. With their plan you'd pay fifty bucks for enough internet access to make 10 minutes of VOIP calls, pay half your bills on-line and visit no other web pages while being allowed to receive about 3 unsecured emails a day. That is not fair or competitive. All of this based on an infrastructure that was built by us, the tax payers. An infra structure they have not updated or done decent upkeep on even though showing massive profits.
They justify this by claiming they have a responsibility to their share holders, conjuring up images of your granny not having to eat cat food because she got that sweet TWC dividend check. But the reality is that the guys demanding this outrageous increase in price are the major shareholders. So they're raking in massive unfair profits for themselves.
The latest figures show that CEO's still receive a wage 300 times larger than the workers.
Where the hell is Obama here? Why is he not threatening to force TWC and AT&T to repay the money they were given in the form of right of way and land use, municipality funded cable and monopolistic contracts by reducing the tariff? Resulting in free internet for a generation?
No protesters?

April 15, 2009

Its easy to see how we became snakes
Ribeye Brothers

Mourning He Warrior Dead by Charles Marion Russell
Click images for desktop size: "Mourning Her Warrior Dead" by Charles Marion Russell
Its seems I was mistaken about the dog shelters here. Blind man and the elephant thing.
The two shelters I've been to were non-kill shelters ergo I decided they're all non-kill. They're not.Two Faced Woman
The dogs we're fostering come from the kill shelter.
I begrudgingly concede that there might be a place in the world for kill shelters. Some dogs have been so cruelly tormented, usually by humans, that the end of life is the only way to end the poor creature's anguish.
I thoroughly believe that every animal and every person can become an important and necessary part of this world if they're Winning Hand
Click images for desktop size: "Winning Hand" by Unknown
only given a chance.
I have to concede that not everyone is capable of giving people and animals that second chance. Some of us have to work so hard to protect ourselves that its near impossible to drop the armour long enough to let an alien thing into our hearts. Understanding takes a toll too, even though I know the rewards are great so is the risk.
One of my fosters, Jack, was at death's door. He'd been fostered and even they couldn't cope with him. So he ended up with me. I never knew what the problem was. It was a lot of little things. Nothing that meant anything. He was fine. The only thing we couldn't cope with that he was worse than my puppy. When we went on walks the two of them were of the school of getting there fastest and getting back home even faster, and if they had to drag me along to do it so be it. He got better but that's just the way he is. He calmed down a lot, got curious about stuff and learned it was okay to love people.
That this is a kill shelter makes the decision about what pups to foster a lot easier. My urge is to Market Scene by Candle Light by Schendel van Petrus
Click images for desktop size: "Market Scene by Candle Ligh" by Schendel van Petrus
say, "Just give us all of them scheduled to die tomorrow," which isn't fair to them or to the dogs living with me now.
It looks like the pup we'll take will be a 9 month old chow/shepherd mix. YOW! Big girl. She was a surrender. The people who gave her up got her for free via one of those CraigsList permutations that runs locally. So they put about fifty cents worth of gas into her and gave her nearly a week to fit in.
She's head shy, afraid of children, afraid of other dogs. If you'd had three homes and a shelter in your life you'd feel pretty shy and scared too. She's being judged for temperament now. The only thing that worries me about a new dog is that it not be cruel to the dogs that live with me now. No vicious attacks. Yelling at them, nipping at them I understand and deal with but snarling ripping attacks are out.
I have a commitment to my family. The dogs who are my family members will help a foster and beVice Squad fine. They deserve most of my consideration at first. They deserve to feel safe in their home. If it seems hypocritical to place one animal's safety in front of another's I can live with being a hypocrite. The dogs and I have struggled to learn to live together and to be happy together. They are family and they deserve my protection as we welcome another family member into our lives.
We'll see how it plays out. I'm excited.

Yesterday was a pretty wasted mess. Too tired. Too cold.
I got the minimum done which is good enough most days.
I watched another episode of "The Mute Samurai". Mainly to see Misumi's direction. Misumi's episode was different in tone and effect than the rest of the series. Clearly personal. It was called, "The Girl with Blue Eyes" and was about a blonde gajin girl who washed ashore in the arms of her dead mother. The little girl is adopted by a kindly grandfather type. The rest of the village was prepared to let the infant to simply die. Even Anime
Click images for desktop size: "Anime" by Unknown
now with the girl only five years old they spit on her, revile her for being a foreigner.
The little girl is lonely. She spends her days wetting her hair and praying to the goddess of the stream that her fiery red hair will miraculously turn black.
A wanted outlaw comes into the area. He breaks into the grandpa's house and forces them to give him food. He does not harm them. He talks to the little girl, roughly and harshly but without prejudice. Then he leaves.
The next day the little girl is playing at the beach. There's commotion at the village bulletin board. They are all looking at the wanted poster for "Sabu", the outlaw who broke into her house. She goes to hear what they're saying and the adult women push her aside, calling her dirty and disgraceful.
The little girl goes home and begins making rice cakes and tea. She packs them into bamboo containers and heads off. She goes to the mountains and walks along a desolate path shouting the outlaw's name.
Sabu comes out and grabs her. She tells him she figured he must be hungry and offers him the riceTom Horn cakes and tea. He eats them greedily.
They're by a stream. As the little girl tells him what is happening in town she goes about her odd ritual of wetting her hair from the stream. She tells Sabu of her prayers to have black hair.
Sabu tells her he will turn her hair black if she brings him food everyday. She eagerly agrees and they continue talking.
Sabu uses her to deliver messages and to bring him food. She takes him to a deep cave, a better place to hide that only she knows about.
Finally Kiichi Hogan comes into the story. Kiichi is here for the reward. This time we see the subtle differences between Misumi's Ito Ogami, Lone Wolf, and Hogan. Ogami walks the path of hell but he is a complete, ruthless but sane, man. Kiichi Hogan is obsessive, loaded with rage and hate that his silence forces him to hold all inside of him. He's insane but has the saving grace of being a good man at his core.
In Misumi's episodes Hogan is not even allowed the ecstasy of voice over. He is just a massive unhinged killer who's innate goodness prohibits him from taking the easy way out.
Surprisingly this episode has almost no sword play, very little action at all. Hogan finds Sabu but at the little girl's entreaties he does not fight him and capture him. He leaves.
Other bounty hunters don't have his morals. They figure out the little girl is Sabu's contact. They grab her, hold her and without her help find Sabu's hiding place.
They're afraid to go into the deep cave and ferret him out so they tie the little girl to a tree and start to beat her with sticks, yelling into the cave that they'll stop beating the girl if Sabu comes out Unknown
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Unknown
to be killed.
Sabu does. The little girl yells, "I never told them anything!"
Sabu replies, "I know that."
The bounty hunters and gang surround Sabu. They forget the beaten little girl. With no announcement Hogan comes up behind her. He cuts her ropes, freeing her. She looks at him and then runs to Sabu.
With little flash Hogan kills the bad guys. That's it for action.
The episode ends with Sabu about to go to prison. He turns to the little girl and promises to take care of her when he is released. He also apologizes to her for lying that he could turn her golden hair black. The cop then tells the little girl she should be proud of her differences. She made a black soul like Sabu's white due to her differences. She is a gift from the gods.

April 14, 2009

Even inside your fist there is darkness
Kiboyashu Kurasawa

Long and the Tall
Click images for desktop size: "The Long and the Tall" by Unknown
The giant dog woke me. Simple method; barked in my face till I got up.
He was only the emissary. The other two dogs were agitated and waiting for me to get up and open They Call Her One Eye the door. There was something in the yard.
I let them out. Typical non-event. And little barking.
They're all asleep now. My friends asleep. The whole house is silent except for me.
Headphones on. Staring at LCD screens and thinking. Always thinking even when the thoughts are just about white noise and guitar strings.
My puppy stayed in the office with me for a while. I was boring. She left.
She did her job. She reminded me that no matter how dark the night I'm not alone, never alone. Free? As free as I can be I guess. Freedom in exchange for never being alone seems a fair deal. Never alone against no responsibility, no love, just me and my pills and my pain.
Maybe the deal is too much in my favour.
Some good news yesterday. Very good news.
It started when the Animal Rescue service called. We're going to get to be foster dog parents.
Very cool.
All that's left is the house visit. Which just means some house cleaning. There's little question this is a home built for dogs.
My friend wants me to find out about us getting a shelter license. Where we could have as many dogs as we saw fit (and could afford). I still have a strong distaste for dealing with governments but the pay off would be kind of astonishingly great.
Both my friend and I are experienced fosters. I love having the dogs come in. Its a positive for everyone. Our dogs get to meet and adapt to another personality, the foster gets out of the shelter. Marvel Comics
Click images for desktop size: "Marvel Comics Presents"
Even the nice shelters are pretty hellish, at least to me.
My last foster was in an area that still believed in kill shelters. There the fostering had a more poignant edge. The poor dogs had either me or death. This never stopped any of them from making my life pleasantly miserable. One foster ate a wall, I've lost countless frozen pizzas off of kitchen counters. One foster I loved had this incredible ability to dig a three foot hole in under 5 seconds!
My puppy would argue with them, play with them. My puppy used to like to lay out her stuffed toys in the sun light. She would spend an amazing amount of time laying them out and arranging them, then she would just lie down and stare at them. I guess she was feeling wealthy.
All of the fosters respected her little arrangements, until her back was turned. then they'd steal her toys and actually play with them like a dog is intended to.
Here they don't have any kill shelters. It sort of puts the lie to the myth that kill shelters provideThe Thing any sort of service. Even though the pups aren't facing unjust execution their lives are still sadly miserable.
The shelters here are nice. The shelters in LA are a disgrace. Visiting any of them is tantamount to seeing the undiscussed circle of hell. Here they're clean. Each dog has a room, not a cage, but its still prison. No dog is happy until someone stops to talk at them, and when the person leaves they sink back into their lonely misery.
One thing this agency does that is different from any past Marty Robbins
Click images for desktop size: "Marty Robbins"
experience; they let you pick which dog to foster.
I'm not sure how I feel about that. My experience is that the coordinator calls me and says that if I don't take this or that puppy they'll die tomorrow.
Its an unfair pressure I don't mind.
Here we had to go through the web site and pick one.
Considering that both my friend and I are prone to the "oh, hell, just give me all of them" syndrome and "we'll figure out how to deal with it as things come up" affliction, this is dangerous.
We picked two dogs for more info on. Both are Belgian mix breeds. In the pictures both dogs look terrified and terribly sad.
The female is a terv mix, about 18 months old. She was picked up on the street. No one ever claimed her. This makes me figure she was abandoned. Driven someplace and kicked out of the car to "wander lost and lonely like a cloud".
The male has a face too much like my puppy's. He's about 6 months. A surrender. That means that some one decided that his black fur didn't coordinate well with the new carpet, or his toes clicking on the linoleum grated on their nerves.
That's harsh. There are probably several good reasons for taking someone into your life and then cruelly dumping them. I can't think of any. At least its better than abandoning them to their own I Feel You by Jose Manchado
Click images for desktop size: "I Feel You" by Jose Manchado
devices. I don't really think so but it sounds like it should be better.
We'll know this weekend when we get the home inspection. I'll take the cowardly way out and let my friend make the final pick. I figure let both of them stay here, even though I know I could never cope with two new scared dogs, but I guess I'd figure it out.
I also love the idea of meeting the perspective adopting people. Its nothing but a warm experience.
The other nice news is that the football club apparently wants me to coach. They haven't figured out the assignments yet but they want me attend the "fitting" clinic this Saturday.
This is the clinic where they show coaches the right way to wear shoulder pads and the proper sizing and strapping for helmets.
Its been a lot of years since I had to attend something like this. I expect to be pleasantly bored.The Wolf Man
I used to keep up with this stuff by listening to the salesman. Eastman, Riddle, Air etc were always making alterations to their equipment, innovations maybe. Th salesman would demonstrate and point out any differences in how the gear should be worn.
I'll be most interested in meeting my fellow coaches. I hope there aren't any militaristic win-at-all-costs types. Most of the time you can't recognize the type until game day. They've learned to disguise it.
If that weren't enough my computer worked all day. Its still going.
My friend is learning to love her MacBook. She using Parallels along with gr to do her job and keep it all on her Mac.
The only slight negative is that yesterday was the last day of her four days off. This is the start of her Quarter End which means I probably not really see her until this weekend.
Its a bearable absence.

April 13, 2009

People are like stained-glass windows; they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Interleaved by LawnElf
Click images for desktop size: "Interleaved" by Lawn Elf
My mother always had a lot of friends. They were usually young women.
I didn't understand it at the time but often one of these women would end up staying with us. TheyThe Night Walker were unwed expectant mothers. They had no place to go. Even though we lived in near poverty my mother always opened our home to them.
At first I didn't understand what pregnant even meant. I just knew it was some lady that worked at the concession stand at the drive-in with my mother. They stayed with us, got fat and then they weren't around anymore.
Day Dreams by Paul Fischer
Click image: "Day Dream" by Paul Fischer
It always felt a little bit empty when they'd leave.
My mother continued doing this even after she got married. My stepfather didn't mind having another attractive woman in the house. From my step-father I heard a lot f disparaging phrases: Round heels, shacked up and stupid, knocked up and broke, and one I still don't really get, tripped the guy and beat him to the ground.
I liked the young women. They'd stare at me sometimes in a funny way I couldn't grasp but I liked them well enough. One in particular fascinated me. She was a morose girl, from the east coast she was as close to a beatnik as I'd ever seen. She said "cool" a lot and wore black turtle necks and a beret. That's as close to a beatnik as you could get in Southern California. The climate is not conducive to introspection. She might have been my first love.
She would borrow my red card board record player and play this one album, Gregory Corso's "Happy Birthday to Death".
To me this was a weird record. It wasn't songs. It was this guy, Corso, reading his poetry while this bongo player just wailed away. I liked the bongo's at least. I'd sit with her while she played this. Partially to protect my precious record player and partly because she'd talk to me. I had little idea of what she was talking to me about but she spoke so seriously and intently it made me feel like I was being treated as an adult.
Pin Up Art by JW McGinnis
Click images for desktop size: "Book Cover" by JW McGinnis
After one of her soliloquies I felt like I should fill the silence so I'd ask a stupid question that seemed important to me. Like, on the record, it bugged me that after each cut the people didn't clap and applaud but they'd snap their fingers and shuffle their feet. It seemed weird then and now.
Now I realize it gives me the impression of some guy who got rich for the day at the race track and was at some lurid live sex show and this sweaty guy keeps shouting out, "Oh yeah baby!" while the rest of the raincoat crowd pretends to ignore him.
Anyway after I'd ask my stupid question the beatnik girl (who's name I can't remember) would tussle my hair gently, look at me sadly and give me a hug, sometimes even a kiss on the cheek.
I'd just started drum lessons then. I didn't have a set. I just had the rubber practice pad and anything else that fell under my drumsticks.The Return of Count Yorga
I liked the bongos. Liked them a lot. And then actually found a set at a yard sale. Cost a quarter. I think they were used more for decoration than for playing. Something to throw on the lanai for the tiki torch parties that were popular in the neighborhood.
I'd also only heard bongos on the record. I didn't know they were played by hand. It only took a couple of days for me to put the drumsticks through the skins. A whole quarter wasted. The price of a comic book down the tubes.
The beatnik girl who seldom noticed me except she was going through some sort of maternal angst, tried to show me how to use them, playing along with her Corso record. I wasn't interested in her bad music lessons so I listened to the words, Corso's words:
I stand in the dark light in the dark street and look up at my window,
I was born there.
The lights are on; other people are moving about.
I am with raincoat; cigarette in mouth,
hat over eye, hand on gat.
I cross the street and enter the building.
The garbage cans haven't stopped smelling.

Frank Sinatra
Click images for desktop size: "Frank Sinatra" by Unknown
I liked that.
I guess beatnik girl felt some maternal streak and decided to tell me about Corso, stuff she'd read on the record sleeve. Corso got sent to prison 3 times. For stealing a toaster, a suit and breaking into his school to have a warm place to sleep. All before he was 17. He was imprisoned as an adult with Mafia hoods and murders.
Prison scared me. I didn't think of poets as tough guys who could survive prison. I thought prisons were where you went to die.
I found out it was easier to read poetry than to listen to it. Even with bongos it's easier to read.
Corso's stuff was funny and mean. There was a picture on the back of one f beatnik girls books. He looked like a handsome prize fighter.
Poetry had its own music to it. It wasn't song lyrics. The best song lyrics, to me, are slogans, something to counterpoint the beat.
Poetry carried its own beat. For Corso it was tough and percussive. Words barking out at the night before heading into the long howl of the end of us all.The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
I can't remember beatnik girl's name, or her face. But I remember Corso.

I'm getting used to my new mouth. Brushing my teeth is still a hassle. Eating is a chore but not an impossible one.
Blood pressure is still all over the place but always slightly too high.
The pain in my right shoulder is aggravating. I remember that when I had similar in the left it took me three months or more of daily exercise to finally sort it out. Since my left elbow and thumbs are still gimpy I feel a bit lost most of the time. Making coffee is more of a chore. It feels like one of the labours of Hercules getting the kettle plugged in. Reaching for stuff, even light stuff takes grit.
The best thing about this weekend was that my friend has got four days off. Today's the last of them. I like her being around. I think she likes being around. I like to think that part of her pleasure at being home is that I'm here. Crabby people like to think that they are somehow an asset.
We watched the "hot" new Japanese film, "Ichi". That's the rethinking of Zatoichi. It replaces the cool blind masseur with a femme yetar player.
It was terrible. They cast some forgettable J-pop star as Ichi, I figure to try and catch the same lightening that fired the similar in intent "Azumi".
"Ichi" sucked. It was boring, meandering and a waste of the totally cool actors they did have in it.
Rapunzel by Olivia
Click images for desktop size: "Rapunzel" by Olivia
No humanity. No soul. Bad fighting.

The iMac is giving me big fits. This morning it was all locked up. The UIServer crashed so couldn't do anything but reboot. Oddly it killed the network connection for some unknown reason. Then had to reboot it again after less than an hour. Everything just locked up and refused to quiesce. Still making daily back-ups, even though I forgot yesterdays.

April 9, 2009

In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe
Carl Sagan

Rossetti and Dunton by Dunn
Click images for desktop size: "Rossetti and Dunton" by Dunn
Not feeling well today. Whatever I think is wrong I've decided is wrong inside of me.
I'm to see the doctor on April 20th. Have to bring along all my numbers, my health diary.The Lost Missile
Its obvious somethings wrong. After doing the lite exercise of working out the pain in my shoulder, Stretch it to the point where the pain just is about to start, then hold it for a count of 10 - repeat; trotting around the yard my blood pressure was 195 over 108. At the oral surgeons on Tuesday it was 180 over 90. Waking up its around 155 over 90.
Wallpaper
Click images for desktop size: "Untitled" by Unknown
A year or so ago it never got above 130 over 70.
A year seems rapid to me. A rapid change.
I'm trying to resist self treatment. Diet is easy and obvious. Cut out sodium etc. I get twitched because I keep remembering the oncology team saying that it was important that I keep my blood pressure low, like my opthamologist was always telling me my eyes would do better if I kept my sugars at near hyperglycemic levels. Truths we hold to be self evident stuff.
My blood sugars are okay but not near the low levels I was keeping them at. Sometimes I think I'd do better if I would just get overwhelmed. Let panic take me someplace.
At least I can still laugh and think.
The giant dog has gone to work with my friend. The crazy thing jumped about four feet up in the air on his way to the car, he was so excited.
Inside my puppy let loose the saddest coyote/wolf howl I've ever heard from her. Its what prompted Emotion Machine
Click images for desktop size: "Emotion Machine" by Unknown
my trotting around the yard with her and gentle dog. My puppy gets the Kong. I chase her. Gentle dog latches on to my wrist and tries to keep me from catching her.
It must be a great game to them. They want to play it all the time.
It will be funny walking the two sane dogs. Easier on me but the giant dog's intent insanity sure makes every one of our expeditions a memorable adventure!
My mind may be wrapped up in morbidity but I can still think.
I've been watching a TV series. A Japanese TV series: The Mute Samurai. The first episode was entitled "The Man Who Lost The Ability to Sing" which is pretty RAH when you think about it.
What attracted me to it was the star, Tomisaburo Wakayama, of "Lone Wolf and Cub". Wakayama's brother Shintaro Katsu, Zatoichi, makes appearances. Hideo Gosha wrote the story! When I saw that a few episodes were directed by Misumi Kenji, it became must see stuff.New House on the Left
I'm watching them in order. They're pretty standard TV fair. I'm not keen on the pacing. The plot is that Kiichi's father was an honest judge in Nagasaki. He refused to turn a blind eye to the foreigners illegal drug smuggling so the foreigners killed him, his wife and slashed Kiichi's throat and left him to die so he could watch the foreigner's rape his fiancee.
Lots of reason for hopeless rage there.
Kiichi spends the show as a bounty hunter. He lives off the money but mainly is searching for criminals who can lead him to the foreigners. When the show picks up he's been on the quest for 18 years!!
He's become a deadly swordsman who's only fear is that the foreigners might have left Japan before he can kill them!
The humour of the stories comes from Kiichi's discovery that he only gets half as much money for bringing in the criminals dead. That and people making fun of the strong samurai that cannot speak. This is a tough show. In the first five minutes there's a graphic decapitation.
Misumi directs the third episode. It fit in to the series canon but because it's Misumi it takes an odder slant.
There are ideas that flow through all of Misumi's films. That's one of the requirements to be considered an "auteur". One of the most telling is his depiction of society and its relationship to his swordsmen. Society becomes a dense but single character in his films.
In this short film (which is what most of these TV episodes come across as) his concept of society gets clearer than ever before.
John Kennedy
Click images for desktop size: "John Kennedy"
Society and the people in it are vile, frightened contemptible things. Why shouldn't they be. Any hint of heroism from one of its part leads it to being rejected and destroyed by the society that protects itself above all else. Self preservation rules the vast majority. It is all they have.
And due to the low cruel lives they are forced into it is the superior man's instinctual need to love these people. To protect them and enable them to perhaps grow into something more than the miserable thing they are condemned to be.
And the superior man does this while not living amongst them, not ever letting them touch him lest they contaminate the purity of his love with their sodden reality.
Society's only touch of humanity comes from the women who maybe just as rough as their men but they have samurai's strength in their hearts. They are not afraid to show gratitude and realize their is pride in humility.
It would seem that this grim view of the world is essential to the power of Misumi's imagery. ItThe House of Frankenstein forces him to construct his "fleur de mal" images of gore and beauty.
A world where the only thing worth loving is contemptible and represents dirt that you would never allow to taint your own soul is a tough place to live. That Misumi's heroes thrive in this world without regret and that they never let their love for their common man become infused with pity presents an image unlike any I've encountered in classical or existentialist literature. I guess it only works if you've got a heavy sword and the emotional where with all to calmly slay dozens at a pitch.
I'm going to take my pair of dogs out to explore a world that's not tinged with madness. I like walking all three of them. I always figure people see us and point while thinking to themselves, "There goes the luckiest man in the world."

April 8, 2009

Only the mediocre are always at their best
Jean Giraudoux

Death Rattle Comics
Click images for desktop size: "Death Rattle Comics 4" by Unknown
I feel like an aged tiger today. A leery tiger waiting for the hunter he hears in the grass.
You know how in bad slasher movies there's that moment when there will be that shocking noiseThe Boogie Man Will Get You and it turns out to be a cat and you know its coming but you jump anyway? Even when you know that just as the victim realizes the slasher will appear behind them and get them anyway and you still laugh as the victim dies.
The Book Lover by Kupka
Click images for desktop size: "The Book Lover" by Kupka
Its just a feeling that's hanging around me. Its funny though, of all the terrible things that have happened to me none of them were ever presaged. They always leveled me hard and unexpected.
Like an the anti-universe Roman Generals I used to mark the entire month with a black stone. I'd throw away the clothes I was wearing that day under the theory that they were cursed.
It doesn't take to long, with that method, to find every month marked with a black stone.
I don't know what I'm worried about, but I am. Maybe its the old if I imagine everything terrible then none of that terrible stuff will ever happen. Maybe.
Or maybe its been so long that I don't know how to handle happiness.

I'm not doing well with this antibiotic. Its making me queasy and gassy. I notice a slight reduction of the swelling today. Only slight but I did notice.
Desert Girl
Click images for desktop size: "Desert Girl" by Dennis
My blood pressure has been getting slightly lower since I'm not fighting the pain. 140 over 90 today, which is still too high but not as worrisome. My blood sugars are doing better as well.
I still have the brain shuddering pain in my left elbow and in my right shoulder. Lots of grunting and going "OW!" when I move. After the tooth extractions I got out of the habit of doing the exercises. I can get back into doing them for the right shoulder but I have no idea what to do for the elbow.

For some reason I found myself thinking a lot about North Korea. The people are starving. The people are escaping to China just to find food. People are dying from third world diseases that are associated with malnutrition but the government is testing billion dollar missile systems.
Children are dying and Kim Jong-Il is making weapons of war. Generals don't know how to feed aThe Female Butcher child let alone how to feed a people. Generals know how to make war. War is always their first solution.
I was jaw dropped by Sarah Palin making the statement that she was going to ensure that Alaska would use all of her power to protect America from the impending North Korean threat. Which sounds a lot like if Schwarzeneger decided that California was going to declare war on North Korea.
I thought it was illegal for local politicians to dictate a separate foreign policy. I mean what would a state do against a country?
Palin let her own people, she let Alaskan's starve and freeze to death but she's some how going to gather the resources to build a state wide security net? And she seemed to ignore that everything and everyone says the missile launch was pretty much a disaster, from the North Korean standpoint anyway.
She seems more like Kim Jong-Il than a viable Presidential candidate.

I've been following the USC spring camp pretty closely. Partially to ignore baseball's opening day. I'd really like to see Mitch Mustain take the starting job at QB. There's something I like about the kid. Aaron Corp seems to be the leader right now but I think Mustain will be the guy to lead the team back to the National Championship.
I don't have too many worries about the defense. It won't be as stifling as last years but It will still be top 10. Guys are improving, the secondary will be a monster. The linebackers are all experienced and deadly. I can't wait until August.

Dogs
Click images for desktop size: "Dog" by S4W
I've finally gotten some new stuff to listen to. Nashville Pussy, a band with a femme lead guitarist and a femme bass player. The new album is "From Hell to Texas". They're pretty good. They fall just south of great. There's something missing to propel them. I can't figure out exactly what.
I'm considering adding to this site. Just a little jukebox to share music. Its a little app called KavaTunes. It prepares a pretty spiffy looking set of php pages that mimic the look and feel of the iTunes music store OR an iPod. It then allows you to stream the music from my server or download it.
I was thinking I'd start out with my Top Ten Most Played songs and then add and adjust the next 10 monthly, so it would become like a Top 10, then a top 30 etc.
It might be fun for me, provide some cool non RIAA controlled music and prove beyond doubt that my listening habits are totally bizarre.
I forgot to mention that I updated the movie and genre listings. They're up to 3,400 movies. I keepThe Day the Sky Exploded having to explain on both lists you just have to click on the little buttons or titles to get more information and bigger artwork.
My friend got me a new chair for the computer! She had a gift certificate that was about to expire. I was touched that she'd use it for something for me.
Its a cool black leather thing. It's only fault is that the casters roll too freely. Since I normally have at least one dog wrapped around me it means I have to be a bit more cautious about scooting it around.
Its time to take our long walk. The sun is shining. There was MORE snow last night but its all supposed to melt today and then freeze up tonight. Makes all that snow shoveling yesterday seem like a bit of a waste but it provided some fun for three members of the household.

April 7, 2009

Be who you are and be that well
Saint Francis de Sales

Clothes Make The Man
Click images for desktop size: "Clothes Make the Man" by Unknown
There are four inches of snow on the ground. The temperature is 27. Easter weekend is this weekend.
Yesterday my friend left for work. The giant puppy has strange issues. Whenever we or she leaveWee Willie Winkie he starts a pathetic crying. My puppy will often join in with a mournful howl.
Normally this all ends as soon as I step back in the house. I have to go out with my friend to open and close the gate behind her. Yesterday when I came back inside the giant dog's tears didn't stop.
Before I could start to comfort him the phone rang. My friend was Charmed to Meet You
Click image: "Charmed to Meet You" by Unknown
coming home. The snow was too bad for her to go into work.
I think the giant dog is taking credit for bringing her back to him.
As we settled in, her to work and me to annoy her and the dogs, I felt something odd. My gums had been swollen since the tooth extractions but they started to throb in a way that worried me.
I called the oral surgeon and got an emergency appointment.
The guy who pulled my teeth is on vacation. I liked his stand in far better. He said I had the start of an infection and I was healing much slower than usual.
Leukemia and chemo-patients are extremely susceptible to infection. Diabetics are slow healers.
It bugged me that this was in all my medical history. Before the extraction I even called and asked if I could pick up the script for the antibiotics before hand. I was told of course not.
I wonder if my call rankled them enough to not prescribe any antibiotics out of some sort of professional spite or in a vain attempt to not pay that much attention to my own health - let the Esther by Benouville
Click images for desktop size: "Esther" by Benouville
MD's handle it all, Just be compliant and shut up.
I figure the latter.
So the stand in doc gave me a script for Amoxicillin, a pretty non-specific anti-biotic.
I was so amazed and relieved that there was no charge for the visit that it wasn't till some time later that I started to wonder why I wasn't charged.
I spent the idle moments waiting around asking anyone who was foolish enough to listen what they thought about the weather. No one seemed as upset about the snow and cold as I did. Much to my chagrin they all seemed to accept it pretty much as the way things work "around these parts".
Other than that relatively complicated ploy of mine to annoy my friend and the dogs we settled in.
It was pleasantly dull. I didn't even have much time for my usual pondering of what is going to snatch my simple comfort away from me.
We watched a Japanese movie: "Suspect X". It was surprisingly good and entertaining. It startedThe Story of Temple Drake with a crazy cool "Mister Wizard" style explanation and demonstration on how to make a super particle accelerator from things you can find around the house, if you happen to live in a medical tech supply factory anyway.
The film is based on a successful Japanese TV series so I wasn't all prepared for what was to come. A murder mystery that became a struggle between a genius physicist and a super genius mathematician.
And somehow it became a tale of enduring and effective heartbreak, loneliness and profound sadness. Its smart enough in its story telling to lay out some red herrings as to the character and motives of the characters, allowing you to gleefully jump to some conclusions that will intertwine your own guilt with the guilt of the leads and the distaste for the mere cops who slave away to solve the crime.
At one point the "villain", the mathematician, asks the physicist to not solve the crime; "It will bring no one happiness."
The ending is searing, simple with an elegance that speak to the truth of the lost.
A warmly recommended movie. Not great but terribly cool entertainment.
I've already had the dogs out in the bad weather. They love it. They knocked me down once. Unintentional this time. My puppy and the gentle dog saw something and went after it while giant DC
Click images for desktop size: "DC Comics"
dog saw the same thing and decided to back away from it, probably to consider joining in on the attack. I was doing pretty well until giant dog decided that whatever was out there was small enough to make it safe for him to join in on the attack. He moved too fast for me so I went over. To the pups disgust I kept a hold on all three leashes.
One of my kids (former players) likes to send me the UK top 40 three or four times a year. I think I once muttered something about being afraid of loosing touch. For some reason he sends me the POP top 40. And once again I'm amazed that there are as many of those tracks that I sort of like and there are tracks I down right hate (keyboards and drum machines are often but not always the progeny of hate).

April 6, 2009

They are not pets; they are family
Tony Jaa

Autumn Maple by Kamisaka Sekka
Click images for desktop size: "Autumn Maple" by Kamisaka Sekka
Yesterday was pretty nice. Temperature's up around 50, felt warmer in the sun. The dogs were happy.Road to Rio
It was nice, like a pleasant autumn day.
This morning there was about an inch of snow on the ground and the threat of about 8 inches to come. Aggravatingly no one but me thinks this is peculiar and slightly disheartening.
The dogs are still happy.
It was a mildly interesting weekend. On Saturday we met my friend's parents at the Chinese buffet for their birthday lunch. We were surprised at how Bath Time
Click images for desktop size: "Bath Time" by Unknown
busy it was.
This impacted my doggie bag purloining. While I doubt if they care about me snatching tidbits to take home for the dogs it makes the experience much more fulfilling if its a clandestine operation I barely get away with. Not certain how much I'd be able to eat I went loaded for bear, both the inner and out pockets of my sweater/fleece were lined with plastic.
The crowd was so heavy and there was so much wait personnel that I only got 2 pockets filled. Fortunately their Saturday lunch is more of a brunch thing. There was bacon and pork sausage.
There was also an omelet chef. This was new and novel. My friend had a cheese and mushroom Beethoven
Click images for desktop size: "Beethoven" by Unknown
omelet that she thought was pretty good. Except it was too large for her. This probably saved them a fortune in sprig rolls and veggies.
I had no big problems eating. I got sick afterwards but I put that off to living on nothing but over cooked rice, pudding and other non-chewables.
Real food felt weird in my mouth. The only problem I really had was with the calamari. Too chewy to disintegrate it properly for swallowing. I sampled a little bit of everything. Everything felt odd in my near toothless mouth but there was no problem and no bleeding.
The table conversation perplexed me. My friends family is larger than I ever imagined. Every time she talks with her parents I seem to find out about another sibling. I'm an only child so its perplexing to me. I guess my ideas about extended families don't have much basis in reality. I always figured that they were closer, chatting daily. I thought they were more apart of life.The Red Rider
I don't like how everyone looks at me like I was retarded when I ask, "who is that?"
(I suddenly remembered I'm not actually an only child. My step-father had three kids from a previous marriage. I guess I met them once when I was about 7. Never had any contact or heard about them until my step-fathers funeral. They sent some flowers. I was bored and I asked my mother who some of the flower senders were. She gave me that same "how retarded are you" look and explained, slowly, that those people were my brother and sisters.
Nude
Click images for desktop size: "Nude" by Unknown
I thought it was pretty chintzy to only get one bunch of flowers from 3 people but then realized that since they'd never seen the guy in at least 20 years probably one of them thought to send something and just signed all three names. Fair enough and probably more than my step-father warranted. I lived with him and wasn't too thrilled to be there I can't imagine how his three other kids must have felt hearing he was gone. Heck of a legacy. They got mentioned in his obituary. I didn't. Suited me fine.
After lunch my friend and I headed to the Animal Shelter. There are plenty of reasons we should stick with having only three dogs, mainly economic and the lack of canine sleeping space. But there were two dogs there that seemed to need us more than we might need them.
I was surprised when her parents met us at the shelter. They'd never been there before. I likedSatan's Cheerleaders them showing up like that. Its the only pleasant surprise I recall from them. My friend seemed pleased which made it all the better.
Inside was not so great. The one dog, Rufus, was gone. He'd found a new home. The other little dog Jackson had an application for him pending.
Jackson is one of those dogs that really irk me. Not the dog but the people who were entrusted to him. He is at least 9 years old and they just abandoned him. The notes on him indicated severe neglect. He was intact. (Polite dog words for not fixed, which is slightly less polite for uncastrated).
This is a non-kill shelter and they're fairly fussy about who takes their dogs so we decided to give him a break and pull him out of the kennel. He was a little frantic and really wanted out. Understandable. Except the shelter was closing! We weren't allowed to spring him. I was looking forward to it.
It cast a pall over what had been a nice day. My friend's mother was surprised there were so few dogs there. I thought that was good news.
Our spirits were elevated a little bit when on Sunday we got an email explaining that we are still being considered as foster parents. Dog foster parents.
I like the idea of being fosters. Meet a slew of nice dogs and a bigger slew of some excellent people (for the most part).
My friend bought up another subject on Sunday. She's been corresponding with an old high school chum. It appears that woman is going through some strive. Her husband's girl friend was calling him constantly while their son was getting an operation. I also gathered that the boob husband was taking the calls. Yow!
Mermen by Maxfield Parrish
Click images for desktop size: "Mermen" by Maxfield Parrish
My friend has invited her to stay with us if things get too crazy for her. (Crazier than that?) Now my friend is worried that her high school mate isn't very much like us.
We also had to deal with the stupid cat. When we came back from a little errand the stupid cat was standing in the neighbor's yard yowling its head off. My friend had to go into the yard but then couldn't find the thing. It had left the yard it was acting like it was imprisoned in. My friend caught the cat up and bought her into the yard where upon the cat demanded to be set down. Since the fence is separated from our neighbors by a quarter inch wire link fence we spent 10 minutes moving it a quarter inch.
There's someone who might like to take the stupid cat into their home. As much as I dislike the stupid cat, I mean I like skanky cat, the feral free loader, more than I do her, I still have a strong knee jerk reaction about moving an 8 year old animal out of the environment its used to.
My feelings aren't very important here so we'll see what happens.Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Finally my iMac is holding on. Barely. I think the Hard Drive is only part of the problem. I think the HD Controller and possibly even the CPU might be in trouble s well. I'm still doing daily back-ups, which are a pain.
I looked at the Pystar Hackintosh. Pystar is being sued by Apple for making and selling machines that run OSX. There's even talk, probably true, that the next version of OSX will have DRM in it to prohibit it from running on anything but Apple taxed machines. Still . . .
Even though its about 25% the cost of a MacPro and about six hundred less than the sexier non boxed iMac its still too expensive for us.
I think I could replace all the parts. Its scary working with such tiny screws on something so fragile but how else do you learn?

April 3, 2009

Birth was the death of him
Samuel Beckett

Water Sprite
Click images for desktop size: "Water Sprite" by Unknown
Passed out at ten p.m., which is early for me.
Woke up at 3:00 a.m. in the midst of a dream.Bight Watch
Like most of my dreams this one had a plot. I was back in LA as old as I am but looking like when I was 22. I was on the Hollywood Freeway, driving like a maniac through rush hour traffic, gunning up to a hundred in the fire lane and scuttering through traffic, not running away from anything but rushing to downtown.
I was driving my old junker red and white Ford Falcon station wagon, my sleeper. Some of you might remember it. Ran on airplane fuel. Looked like hell but tipped out at 145 in the quarter mile. The only real problem was that the carb kept catching on fire if it had to idle too long.
I hit downtown. The LAVA art exhibition was still going on. I tried to park by the Contemporary Art Museum but no luck. I ended up having to park deep in the nickel. I figured as much. Even in a dream you don't drive a decent car down to the Nickel.
I made a careful note of where I was parked. Put the keys in my pocket and started to run to my appointment. I was meeting my friend. We'd been separated for too long. She had managed to reconnect with her first love and they were living a very happy life together. It was her first time in LA and she'd been thoughtful enough to call me.
We were going to one of the grind houses. The last surviving one. Every town needs a movie theater where the bums can crash for a dollar. They were showing the double bill of Jean Luc Godard's "Masculin Feminine" and "Hong Kong Cat" which is actually not that weird a double bill for the old State of Being by Blatte
Click images for desktop size: "State of Being" by Blatte
grind houses. We scheduled our meeting to see those two and intended to leave before the other two flics, some gore schlock I'd normally have been interested in.
As we went to our seats I commented on how I was not a big fan of Godard's but "Hong Kong Cat" was a crazy cool mess of a movie.
We watched the flics, not even holding hands. Her lover, Rodney, had left us alone. He wanted to go see the Dodgers play the Angels at Chavez Ravine.
When the movies ended we left the theater. It had become inky and dangerous dark. My friend and I walked and talked. We talked like old lovers who never should have parted, with pain and lightness. We passed an SRO where a boom box with a blown speaker blared a salsa version of the Ramones' "Sitting in my Room". We were on Figueroa. There were lights and people. It was where she was supposed to meet Rodney. I left her in front of the old boarded up penny arcadeThe Phantom Empire where a bunch of cps loitered, drinking coffee and eyeing the gang bangers. It felt safe enough. She wanted to walk me to my car but I knew the area I'd parked in. It wasn't safe. I told her it was too far away and we might not get back in time for her to meet Rodney.
Reading Desk by Leighton
Click images for desktop size: "Reading Desk" by Leighton
We parted with an aerial hug. I tossed her up in the air and enjoyed looking at her flushed near laughing face against the blue black sky and the crossing wires.
She called after me but I pretended not to hear. My heart was tearing.
Then I realized I couldn't remember exactly how to get to my car. I wandered downtown LA lost in thought, the kind of fervid thought that comes when your heart takes over from your brain and you get lost in the way things might have been and forget the reasons why things are as they are.
I watched the drunks, the bums, the hopeless and the fearful. Around the corner from Sneaky Pete's Liquors there was a building being renovated. A group were stealing the scaffolding. Two guys ran off with a pair of acetylene tanks.
I watched them run off and watched a patrol car, its bubble gum machine strobing blue drive by slowly. The cops watched the stealing but never stopped.
I woke up.
I have no idea what it means or why this dream affected me to the point of memory.
A Dirty Job
Click images for desktop size: "A Dirty Job" by NFl Films

I'm doing better. The worst pain left is where they cut out the section for the biopsy. Yesterday I was practicing smiling in the mirror. Trying to smile so that I don't look like a hillbilly caricature. I noticed that the wound where they cut is keloiding. I hope it flattens out but I don't know if it makes any difference.
I went to meet the guys about coaching. I was shocked by how much kit and gear they had. Very well run team. I was a bit perplexed by that. Even in high school ball I would have been more responsible for a lot more day to day stuff. Here I'd just coach. I'm not sure if that's a positive or a negative.
I think we properly impressed each other. Now its just a matter of waiting a couple days. They start practice in a couple weeks.
My friend sat in on the interview, at my invitation. She didn't volunteer for anything and seemedQuartermass and the Pit mildly irked that I didn't volunteer her! We'll see what happens.
After the interview we stopped at the Animal Shelter. Too many cats and far too many beautiful dogs. Te only good sign was that two of the most special ones were spoken for. There's was one little guy, so thin, they said he was 6 or 7. I wouldn't be surprised if he were 9 or 10. They didn't tell the whole story about how he ended up in the shelter but he was terribly matted and had to be painstakingly shaved down. I liked him but couldn't figure how he'd handle our three maniacs.
When we got home our dogs went typically berserk with pleasure on seeing us. When I went to bed my puppy scrunched close to me, even resting her head on my chest, until some dog outside barked and she had to go defend our honor.
Tomorrow we're meeting my friends parents to celebrate their birthdays. We're going to the Chinese buffet. This pleases the dogs no end. It will be my first attempt at eating real food.
The computer keeps stuttering but I managed to do a full back up. I'm going to try and tweak things and keep it surviving. Its not four years old yet. I replaced the HD once already. This is irksome.

April 2, 2009

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore
Yogi Berra

Five Faces of Hecate by Luis Royo
Click images for desktop size: "Five Faces of Hecate" by Luis Royo
Woke up this morning and found the computer was all locked up.
I did a reboot and some updates installed and then - nothing. During the reboot the system poweredMonster A Go Go down. This is not a good sign.
In single user mode I tried to repair the disk drive, where you usually start, and it failed three times.
I rebooted into my back up and used DiskWarrior to reconstruct the catalog of the drive. I got lucky. It repaired a huge amount of errors and rebooted.
So there we are.
I probably need to replace the hard drive. I did this once before on the iMac. Its a bit daunting. Its exactly like replacing the HD on a lap top. Doable but a tense operation.
I also wonder if I should just get a Hackintosh. Both are out of my price range (HD or a Hackintosh) but . . . we'll have to see.
Going back to daily full backups.

Day two post multiple tooth extraction was okay. I got a call from the Oral Surgeons office. More like checking up than anything else. I wished they'd shown that much concern when I was actually there.
The good thing is that there's been no more bleeding. I'm uncomfortable but the pain is considerably less than when the teeth were still in there.
The worst pain comes from where they extracted the bone marrow for the biopsy. The next worse is in my jaws. Learning how to hold my jaw with the new mouth is the most aggravating part.
I ate a little bit of solid food. A frozen hash brown patty. It was awkward but not too bad. Minimal bleeding.
There's a lot of swelling inside my mouth but not much that shows up on my face. I can talk plainly.
Tree and Sunset by Giovanni Di Gregorio
Click images for desktop size: "Tree and Sunset" by Giovanni Di Gregorio
I kept waking up with my face wet with drool. Not very dignified but it wasn't bloody drool so I can suffer that indignity in the dark.
My friend took off work. I think she was counting on a lot of nursing. I was glad to disappoint her. I'm glad she just got to have some days off.
Tonight is the interview for coaching the pee-wee footballers.
I'm not nervous about it. I'm good at it and know what I'm about. If nothing else I've got a pretty solid philosophy in my coaching. Solid enough that if they disagree then it wouldn't be the place for me to coach anyway.
I'm excited and really hope it works out. They really want HC's (head coaches). While I'd prefer being a position coach and a smaller member of the team I'd handle anything. My friend is drivingThe Mysterians me to the interview so I've volunteered her (only to her) to come on as the team manager! She's good with paperwork. I'm good at missing paperwork deadlines. She'd be an asset in more ways than one.
Now I need to take the puppies out for our long walk. They've been crazed not having their daily constitutional. I'm hoping that the walk and exercise will drive away some of my lightheadedness and let me focus more.
If it does I'm going to make a big rush at getting my puppy's site updated.