Recommend to your children virtue; that alone can make them happy, not gold
Ludwig van Beethoven
My main thoughts are concern for my wife and her ability to handle grief. Experience with grief doesn't mean you handle it better.
My second thoughts are the same as usual: We need to be nicer to each other. To rejoice in each other.
It bothers me that their are no great works of art about death. Berlioz's Requiem is about the sounds of the survivors and their imaginings of death. Stanley Elkin's "The Living End" is a sardonic denial of death. There's the brutal short movie "Aftermath" and, of course that cruddy old poem "Thanatopsis" which hides behind ancient greek to avoid the heaviness of grief.
For a subject so big that touches everyone it's been pretty much ignored except for those Sundance style movies that bore me to tears and avoid touching the subject with sledgehammers and rockets.
Even when we all know what's out there and know with that final certainty that it's coming, we're never ready. Never prepared. The worst trap is when we think we are ready and able to cope.
There's nothing wrong with breaking down at the unfairness and futility of it all. Nothing wrong so long as you know you can come back and keep moving forward, keep loving and trusting and laughing through the tears.