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September 16, 2012

A trap is only a trap if you don't know about it. If you know about it, it's a challenge.
China Miéville
USC 14 Stanford 21

1950 by Chiriaka
Click images for desktop size: "1950" by Chiriaka
I've been thinking about odd old times. Breakfasts, meeting people, great and not so great people; old housemates and just stuff.
I think it's just my brain trying to convince me of my own mortality.Steam Heat
We all know how it goes: Even though we're sane enough to know we're going to die someday we still act and think like we're immortal. It's normal and the way of it. It's why many of us need religion.
Of course I just keep hurtling on. Unstoppable. Irresistible. Tall.
My wife lost her mother, not a year ago. Now her step-father entered the hospital last night. No handle on what the problem is. Might just be gall stones. They hurt but don't kill.
My wife is going to have to leave me soon; to see him and to get her house on the market. I'll miss her.
She said something to me that was surprising. She's afraid to get a new dog (not because four dogs is too much) but because after my sojourn to the hospital she's afraid I'll die and leave her all alone with no job and incapable of taking care of the puppies we already have.
I've never died before so I have no real idea of what it might feel like. I only know I'm not finished yet. I made a promise and demanded that I live at least 1 day more than my dogs. Life is cruel but not so cruel as to repay my puppies joy with that much lost harshness.
And now it's a promise I have to keep.
My wife has been through too much this last year. I hope she can find enough strength and love to hold on. The pups can give her all the love any person could ever need. I used to have the strength and stubbornness to loan it out without worrying about getting it back, I probably still do.

My first "podcast" seems to have been accepted well. I making another. It's fun.
You can find it now at the podfeed.net and on the iTunes store. You can even get it on all the iPodcast apps and even on AppleTV. I think that's cool.

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