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November 24, 2005

I thinks they made up Thanksgiving for dogs!

Shelbytgg-4 I has ated so much today I got sick and I made stinky smells comes out of my butt!
I had to work very hard doctoring today I had nearly 12 patients. Some of thems was so little I don't know if it's right to count them as whole people.
I put on my doctoring coat and I examined them all real good.
I tasted them! Then I says you medicine is to gives me some of your food! I had a taco! It was very good, not so good as a cheeseburger but very good anyway.
Shelbytgg-3 That am the hospital where I doctors people. We is up there way at the top.
When I has ate all their food the next medicine I gives them is I makes them chase me! This is very good medicine when you is sick. Then I showed them my operation scar where they is cloning me. They showed me their scars too!
My scar was the prettiest that's for sure.
Shelbytgg-1 Then I tells them they medicine is to play with blocks! We had us a lot of fun and they was all getting much better. I is a very good Thanksgiving doctor dog.
There is a rocket in front of the hospital. David says he is going to send me to the moon in that there rocket!
I tells him, "No, you isn't! If I goes to the moon I makes you go too!"
I like Thanksgiving. For dinner I had turDuckEn! That am Turkey Duck and Chicken.
It was very good.
I think I will have me another Thanksgiving real real soon!

Posted by Shelby at 9:14 PM | Comments (1)

November 23, 2005

I thinks you should thank me for being your friend

Shelby182-2 David says I has to tell everybody what I is thankful for.
I says I is thankful I is not a cat!
He says that am not right.
So I says I is thankful for ice cream!
He am so fussy that he say, "No Shelby, today you have to think of all the things and people you know, and how much they make your life better."
I can see he is serious so I puts my giant brain to it and I comes up with a list.
I is thankful for all the friends I has who reads me and sends me letters, even if most of them letters is stupid!
I is grateful to my mom for taking care of me when I was little.
I is grateful that my Gramma looked around and found me a good home.
I is thankful that I is a doctor dog who will makes people better with my good jokes and medicine.
I is thankful to my friends Robin and Ben who sends me some pretty good toys!
I thanks Doctor Karen and Nurse Daniella cause they has made me feel pretty good when I is sick.
I is thankful to Good Ol' Dog cause I can always beats her up but she never stops trying.
And I guess I is thankful to stupid stingy David but I don't want to say why. I is still training him and he might think I will go easy on him!

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Posted by Shelby at 9:28 PM | Comments (3)

November 20, 2005

Now I is even more famous

Shelby178-1 I is in a movie!
It is the greatest movie ever made. It am better than Star Wars! It is!
Cause I is in it that's why!
And you know what?
David won't let me charge you to see it!
He says you is all my friends and I shouldn't takes money from my friends even if I is a starving hungry dog with hardly enough food and ice cream.
I is thinking I is not that friendly with anyone.
The name of the movie is SHELBY and it am starring ME!!!
If you wants to watch it on your TV you should get this one.

If you is poor like me and don't have a TV you should gets this one.

You can watch this one on your computer!
Now that you sees just how beautiful and famous a dog I is I want you to know it will not change me.
I is already the greatest dog in the world!

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Posted by Shelby at 3:43 PM | Comments (0)

Now I is even more famous

Shelby178-1 I is in a movie!
It is the greatest movie ever made. It am better than Star Wars! It is!
Cause I is in it that's why!
And you know what?
David won't let me charge you to see it!
He says you is all my friends and I shouldn't takes money from my friends even if I is a starving hungry dog with hardly enough food and ice cream.
I is thinking I is not that friendly with anyone.
The name of the movie is SHELBY and it am starring ME!!!
If you wants to watch it on your TV you should get this one.


If you is poor like me and don't have a TV you should gets this one.

You can watch this one on your computer!
Now that you sees just how beautiful and famous a dog I is I want you to know it will not change me.
I is already the greatest dog in the world!

Posted by Shelby at 3:43 PM | Comments (1)

November 16, 2005

I has something very very serious to say

Shelby177-3 You can tell how serious I is just by looking at that picture. That am a very serious dog okay.
I is very mad and very worried.
You is thinking, "what could bother the greatest dog in the world?"
You is ruining where I live that am what!
Now don't all start apologizing. I won't listen. That's how mad I is!
When we goes to see Doctor Karen we used to walk through a big beautiful forest. It were a very good forest. It was very cool in the summer and had all kinds of tree and good smells. I seed a snake there once! I did!
This am what my beautiful forest looks like today!!

The trees is all gone! Where they was water they is now rocks!!

Shelby177-2You can see they is just a tiny little bit of trees left!
I says to David, "This is a very bad joke David. You put all them trees right back right now!"
David says, "I'm sorry Shelby. But they bulldozed them all down. They're going to build another shopping center."
That is so stupid!
I is not even allowed into stores but I likes trees!
I couldn't believes it.
With no forest to walks through and to plays in we now has to walk alongside the road and have them cars pass us.Shelby176-1 I is not afraid of nothing but I don't like that people is throwing they litter on the road where I has to walk!
From now on when I sees litter I is just going to beat it up!
David doesn't like me beating up litter cause I is so fierce I tears it into tiny little pieces and then he has to pick all them little pieces up and throws them away. He is lazy like that. I is working with him about his laziness.
But I tells him, I can't help it people throwing they garbage where I has to walk makes me so mad I gets crazy and I has to beats it up!
Shelby177-4
Here am a picture of how mads I gets! You don't wants me to get that mads at you. So you had better not cut down no innocent trees and you had better not throws no litter on the road.
I knows you wouldn't cause if you did that you would be a poopis head! That's right, I said that, you would be a big old poopis head!
If you is a poopis head you wouldn't be my friend.

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Posted by Shelby at 3:58 PM | Comments (2)

November 13, 2005

I has to spend my allowance on flowers!?!

Shelby175-2 I didn't even know I had an allowance.
I don't think I even know what it is.
I do know it should not be wasted on flowers!
They is flowers everyplace! I has ate some pretty nice tasting flowers but I sure don't wants them instead of ice cream!
And you know what? The flowers were for Doctor Karen and Daniella!!
I ask David why I has to give them something! He say it is too say thank you!
I has to thank them for poking me in my butt?
They is already my friend! How much luckier can they be?
I likes Doctor Karen and Daniella but I knows they'd rather have a little bitty lick of my ice cream instead of stupid flowers.
They might even share some of that ice cream backs with me!
Doctor Karen is going to have a baby. She is going to name it Claire.
Claire is an okay name but I think she should call her baby Shelby. That is a great name and everyone would love her.
I thinks that maybe when Doctor Karen gets them flowers they won't pokes me in the butt no more!
Then it would be worth it.

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Posted by Shelby at 8:25 PM | Comments (3)

November 12, 2005

You know something

Shelby174-2 Everybody knows that ice cream is the best food in the world.
I knows it. Even you knows it cause I has been telling you enough times already!
So if you don't know how good a food ice cream is it is because you is a terrible listener!
Now this am funny. Ice cream is making me feel funny.
Really and that scares me!
Ice cream is so beautiful and now I has some in the morning and at night and it is making me sleepy and very tired.
You know what am funny? I just remembered that david was giving me pills that made me feel exactly the same way!
I sure stop taking them pills in a hurry let me tell you! I thought David was going to be mean and try and make me take them pills but he didn't. Instead he has been giving me ice cream in the morning and at night!
Maybe it wasn't the pills that was making me feel funny.
I don't know. I can't figures it out. And since I is probably the smartest dog in the world if I can't figures it out it must be avery big mystery!
Ice cream is still the greatest food in the world!

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Posted by Shelby at 7:13 PM | Comments (0)

November 11, 2005

I has been tricked

Shelby173-1 So I wakes up yesterday and I is reminding David that he has to get my spay so I can get my license to be a doctor dog.
We goes to see Doctor Karen. I is thinking this is a good idea cause she is a good doctor and it should be one of my colleagues that gives me my spay. I figure she should be honored.
They looks at me and tells me how perfect I is and gives me a little shot.
Then Nurse Daniella and I is talking about clothes.
"Danni" I says, I calls her Danni you know, "Danni, clothes is stupid. The only clothes you needs is a collar and you only needs that to show off your medals!"
Daniella says something but she don't agree with me so I knows it is stupid. Then the next thing I knows I is asleep!
I is dreaming nice dreams about ice cream and biting little dogs on they butts and when I wakes up I feels terrible!
They has operated on me!
Shelby173-5 You can see there on my tummy.
They has taken something out of me!
I can't believes it! They has stolen a part of me!
When David finally comes back to get me I is telling him this but he just keeps petting me. He does know how to pet a dog let me tell you!
I just keeps thinking and thinking about why did they do this, why, why why!
Then I realizes the answer:
CLONING!
Everybody knows I is the greatest dog in the world and they is taking parts of me to grow a million kajillion Shelbys!
When you think about it this am a pretty good idea! Now everyplace I goes there will be a good fighting playing dog for me to plays with and everybody will gets to have a dog nearly as great as me!
I think that is fair.
Shelby173-3 I knows what you is thinking. You is thinking, "But Shelby if there is a million kajillion Shelby's out there how will I knows when I is talking to you?!?"
That is stupid. You will knows it am me because I will be the best Shelby out there! And I will probably be leading stupid David around. I has to take care of him, you know. I don't know what that man would do without me.
I don't know if he remembered to get me my spay.
I had better go remind him.

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Posted by Shelby at 9:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 9, 2005

I is now a doctor

Shelby171-3 That means you has to do what I says.
This is a good thing. And a good thing for you too.
See in that picture. That am good ol' dog and I is having to give her medicine. You can see I takes being a doctor very serious.
I will have patients! Today I did my First Levels. Of course I was close to perfect. Everybody wants Doctor Shelby to be they's doctor. I don't blames them.
But I can't starts seeing patients yet. You know why? You guessed it. Stupid David.
Shelby171-4 I can't starts doing medicine until I gets my license and I can't gets my license until I gets spay.
I tries to ask him, "Dave, why has you not got me my spay yet?"
And he says I get's my spay tomorrow. It am probably cheaper then. He is very stingy. I is trying to work with him on that.
My owie from getting runned over is getting much better. I don't even notice it much.
You has to admit it is a great dog who can get runned over and then gets to be a doctor just a few sleeps later!
Shelby171-1 A lot of you has been asking me, "Shelby, why isn't telling us more of your good jokes?"
And I is asking you, "WHY HASN'T YOU BEEN SENDING ME ANY ICE CREAM!"
But because I is a doctor I has to be nice to you even if you isn't very nice to me. This is a good joke I invents:
Two cats is walking down the street and they comes to a poodle. The cats say, "We is stupid smelly cats who goes to the bathroom indoors. What are you doing beautiful dog?"
See even if this poodle is not as beautiful as me next to a cat any dog looks beautiful.
Then the poodle says, "I is biting mean old cats on the tail!" And he did and them cats just runs away!

Posted by Shelby at 8:47 PM | Comments (2)

November 7, 2005

Yesterday I was 24

Shelby5-3 and then today I is "not quite" 6 months. I know I is not getting younger. Then I figured it out!
They is afraid to let me vote! Cause they know I will vote for me and then everybody will say, "I can vote for shelby? Of course I will!"
And when I is in charge they will be some changes you bet!
On Friday I was going to our football game so I can help them guys win and then you won't believe it. I got runned over by a car.
You is probably scared right now and thinking poor poor Shelby. HAH! You has forgot I has a secret identity!
David and me were walking and talking about how to win games.
A big car comes out of nowhere and runs over me!
P1010004 I bet a cat was driving it. It runs over me and stops and I runs real fast out the side! That were very smart. But what were smarter is I turns myself into Moonlight's Be Bop Deluxe! then nothing can hurts me!
I didn't turn myself into a superhero quite fast enough so I gots a little owie on my foot!
David, he was just carrying on and he scoops me up so fast I couldn't believe it were him. He is usually very very slow you know. And he takes me to see Doctor Karen. I was thinking I would do this so he would calm down.
And you know what Doctor Karen poked me in the butt!
They poked me and took funny pictures of my bones! Really, I got to look at them. They was very beautiful bones.
They said I was perfect. I already knew that.
That night I has to stay up and keep David calm. He wouldn't go to sleep. And the next day he takes me back to Doctor Karen!
I has got a tiny teeny cut in my leg and they gived me something to makes me sleep. Doctor Daniella stays with me and I was telling her my best jokes, I was telling her the one about two cats and the poodle and I just felled asleep! When I wokes up they has shaved hair off my leg!
Shelby5-2-1 David was there and he gets all kind of stuff for me. I says goodbye to everybody and we goes back to work. David finally goes to sleep on Sunday night. He was driving me crazy Saturday. Everytime I was starting to have fun he stops me. And sometimes he puts this terrible mean collar on me so I can't licks my leg!
He is very mean. I keeps on playing though and having fun. I keeps inventing new games too!
I now weighs 40 pounds! I has two brothers you know. Jimmy and Ballou.
They says they ways 35 pounds. I think those little tiny teeny dogs are so cute. They say the cutest things sometimes.
On Wednesday I is going to graduate Doctor Dog school. I is not studying at all cause I already knows everything!
On Thrusday I has to go back and see Doctor Karen. I think I has to help her with something.

Posted by Shelby at 11:07 PM | Comments (2)