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January 22, 2006

Some good and some stupid questions

Shelby1-12-2You people keeps writing to me. When you is asking me questions you is being very very smart. See, I is super smart and I knows that you can always get smarter. Asking me to teach you stuff shows you is not stupid even if some of your questions are.

Lucy in Chicago writes to me everyday. She is very smart but she asks a very stupid question;
Shelby why don't you write something everyday?

Cause I is busy!
Sides if you gets ice cream every single day you might be very very happy but then you would get fat! See?
By the way I now weighs 50 pounds. Since we know I is perfect that means that anyone who weighs more than 50 pounds is FAT!

Ben in Canada asks;
How do I get a Shelby award?
This is a very good question and it has a very easy answer. You has to be greater than me at something!
Since I is the greatest dog in the world that means it is very very hard to gets this award. I think that is good. The Shelby Award is solid gold and has a big picture of my beautiful face on it! It has diamonds or some shiny stones for my eyes and it opens up and is filled with treats!
You has to make them yourself cause I is a poor dog who has no money but now you knows how to make one if you should win one.

Shelby1-12-1Charles in New York wants to know;

What is the best food in the world?
This is a very hard question cause it has so many answers!
Ice cream is always the best food. Sometimes you has been out running and playing good games I really thinks a cheesburger is the best for you. It has all the grease vitamins you need to go back and play harder!
So as I is thinking the best food is a cheeseburger rolled in ice cream!
You know David has told me that cheeseburgers is a food made from a lot of foods, but my brother Jimmy has sent me a delicious bone from a cheeseburger! What a smart dog like me has learned is don't listen to David!
Now I wants to have a pet pig and a pet cheeseburger. I tells David we can keep it in the bathtub which we should not use cause baths are very very bad for a dog.

Linda in Colorado asks me;
Shelby, how can I be as beautiful as you?
First you has to have a beautiful mom. My mom is almost as beautiful as me! Really, its true!
Then you has to do a lot of mud treatments. In this picture you can see how I has puts mud all over my face! Make sure stupid David doesn't find you and washes off your beauty treatment.

Walter in Maryland writes to ask;
Are there any other great dogs like you?
The problem with writing stuff is you can't see I is shaking my head slow and looking ups with my eyes.
They is only me. I is Shelby and I is the greatest dog in the world. Just ask me and I will tells you!

That is enough questions! Doctor Karen has not had her baby! It is not coming because it wants to be named Shelby!
I has cured most of my patients. I is a great doctor you know. They has give me more patients! I tells my old patients they has to laugh harder to spits all them germs out!

I has to take a nap and watch the football!

Posted by Shelby at January 22, 2006 2:58 PM

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