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March 8, 2006
Oh, I has been so terrible busy!
I started out to tell you some of my great adventures. Like how I got to make everybody clean up the litter and garbage on the road where I work and how I got the man who buys the cans to give me an extra FOUR CENTS!! I know. I had made One Dollars and seventy two cents from the cans. Somebody buys the garbage I picks up! So why do peoples throws them on the road?
And then I was going to tells you how I took all that money I made and used that money to buy food for the dogs who hasn't got no people to take care of!
And then I was going to tells you all about my doctoring peoples and my lawyering for people and how I is going to teaches them kids to play football near as good as me.
But something happened!
Guess what!
You is never going to guess!
Guess again.
You gives up. I know you do.
What happened was I got bit by a snake!
I did!
I was out doing my chasing spiders and lizards job when I seed this silly looking lizard. It were silly cause it had no legs!
So I says to it, “Why, is you a lizard? Why you got no legs?”
And it said, “Hissssssssss.”
So I said, very polite cause I is always polite especially when I is planning to chase you. “Excuse me? Is you a lizard? If you is I is go to chase you. It am my job!”
And it just said, “Hissssssss.”
Then suddenly David yells out real loud, “Shelby!”
Now you can hear how stupid that am. He don't yell something smart like, “Shelby, come here!” or even something half smart like, “Shelby, stop!”
No stupid old David just yells, “Shelby!”
So like any good dog would do I looked at him and goes, “What!!” And just like that that snake reaches out and bites me!
I said, “Ouch!” and before i even had the “..ch!” out of my mouth stupid old David very rudely reaches over me and catches that old snake up and he won't lets go!
Then David scoops me up and he starts running! And he is running carrying me!!
I says to him, “David, this is very undignified for a dog! I can runs much faster than you!”
While he is running with me that snake am in his other hand and it is even madder than me!
It keeps going, “Hissssssss Hisssssss.” David has a hold on it's head so it were really going like, “Hiitttthhh.” But it were longer than me and it is like all tail and it keep trying to wrap it's tail, which is most of it, around David to chokes him or something.
Then lo and behold - do you like that - lo and behold - I heard that on TV and I think it is a very grand thing to say - lo and behold, we is at Dr Karen's but its not Dr Karen's no more cause she has gone off and had her baby that she did not name Shelby.
So we runs into the vets and a lady there takes one look at David and she yells, “COTTONMOUTH!!” And she jumps up on a chair.
I tries to tell her that, “No, that is David. He is not so beautiful as me but he is not that ugly, lady.” But then nurse Daniella comes out and before I can says hi, she takes me away from David and then this other doctor comes out and he says, “That is no cottonmouth, that is just a water snake!”
I tells the doctor, “That Water snake has bit me and I wasn't in no water either!”
He washed out where that old snake bit me. David says he let the snake go in the woods but I think David probably ate him for dinner!
I tried to tell everybody that there was nothing wrong but, well, we all know how silly David is.
I had to go see my patients today and I told them all about how silly David is.
We all thought it was very funny that the snake was trying to choke him!
I don't know why it am funny but it is.
Posted by Shelby at March 8, 2006 7:19 PM
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Comments
Shelby! That was a very exciting story! That snake sounds very sneaky coming out of the water to bite you if it was a water snake. I had a possum in my yard one night and I was barking at it and lunging at it, but it didn't move, it was "playing possum" with me. Possums are really ugly because they look like big rats!
Posted by: jimmy at March 9, 2006 5:57 PM