I Am The Greatest Dog In The World!

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August 2, 2006

I has been given another medal!

On Friday David says to me, �Shelby it is time for you to go see Doctor Karen. You needs a check up!�
Now I likes Doctor Karen and Nurse Daniella and Nurse Christie but they has been known to pokes a dog in its butt!
IT is so true!
And they has been known to sneaks a dog into the bath!
You is thinking, �Shelby! If they is that sneaky why do you likes them?!?�
I just has a kind and forgiving nature! I is just likes that; kind, forgiving beautiful.
You really is so lucky you is my friend.
So we goes to the veterinarian and everybody is so happy to see me. Of course they is. They gets to see good dogs all day long but they is only one Shelby! Sometimes they even has to look at cats!
I feels so sorry for them when they has to see mean old cats.
After everybody says hi they tries to pet me. I has to tell them, �Not now. David is here and he gets jealous!�
So we go into this room to wait for Doctor Karen. That is a picture of me waiting.
You can see how brave I is. I isn't even scared of getting my butt poked!
I is thinking about it but I isn't scared of it let me tell you!
When Doctor Karen comes in she says, �Hello Doctor Shelby! You're so beautiful!�
I is very professional and says, �Good afternoon Doctor. How are you today?� just like I really cared! �Are you carrying any butt poking tools with you. You might want to throw them out cause they is unsanitary!�
I was thinking I could fool her!
She weighed me and says, �Doctor Shelby. You weighs 68 pounds! You will have to get more exercise!�
Right away I says, �That am David's fault. He got me fired from my job! You had better try them unsanitary butt poking tools on him!�
Then She goes and listens to my heart. I is working real hard to make my heart tell her a pretty good joke!
I tells her this one: �Why did the dog cross the room?�
Doctor Karen says, �Why did the dog cross the room, Doctor Shelby?�
�So someone who says they is you friend won't pokes them in the butt!�
You can see she didn't think that were very funny even if it is true.
Then she poked me in my butt!
I stood still for it but I told her, �I is very disappointed in you Doctor. You should just tell by looking that I is perfect!�
Then they poked me in my foot and stole some of my blood! David says this is to see if I gots worms and then they is going to keep a record of my blood! I think they will keep it in a museum so that people can come and go, �Oooo, isn't that great blood!�
Then, I couldn't believe it! Doctor Karen stuck me in my back with a needle!! She did!
See, right there she does it! That is photographic proof in case I has to sue her! I is a lawyer you know and can do that if I gets really mad at somebody!
You know you can't sue cats!
You know why?
Cause they don't have nothing you'd want! That's why!
I got another shot and they squirted the medicine right up my nose!
I is a doctor so I figured out that they shot it up my nose so it would get to my brain faster! It were brain medicine to make me even smarter!
It is hard to believe that I could get even smarter but maybe I can.
I is already too beautiful so maybe I can gets too smart!
And then they gived me a medal. It is all gold. I can't see it to good my own self. Doctor Karen says I gets to wear it for THREE YEARS!
I understands people. It am my medal for being the greatest dog in the world. But you people always want to waits around and see if a even greater dog comes around!
It won't. I is always going to be the greatest!

Posted by Shelby at August 2, 2006 12:48 AM

Comments

Posted by: jimmy at August 2, 2006 1:17 AM

Posted by: Ben at August 2, 2006 7:04 AM

Posted by: Gramma at August 3, 2006 11:24 PM