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September 21, 2006

Even more proof!

P9130001 I know you people and you is saying to yourself, �Shelby, you is a great doctor! And Shelby, you is the world's greatest scientist! Shelby, you is a great lawyer and Shelby, you is probably a great football coach!�
But as great as I am you forgets I is also a super hero with amazing super powers!
And I has proof! Photographical proof!
See there I is. I is just a great normal looking Shelby. You know, sometimes even I can't believe how beautiful I is!
But then I says them secret words (which you will notice is I is not telling you and you had better believes that) and I becomes the World's Greatest Super Hero MOONLIGHTS BE BOP DELUXE!!
And here am the proof!
Look right there that mysterious crime fighting shape in the dark that am me! And see super power rays is coming out of my eyes! Just look at that!P9140004
You is sure not going to try and tell me thems am not super power rays coming right out of my eyes is you!?!
Here am another picture because I knows some of you people says, �That is definitely a dog with super power eyes in that picture but it mysterious crime fighter might not be Shelby. Shelby is already such a great dog it wouldn't be fair if she had super powers too!�
Well hah ha on you! Here is another picture and now you sure has to admit there is only one dog that beautiful and that am me!!
But Super Hero am my secret identity! So don't you go telling any of my super enemies or any bad guys! They will try and stop me fighting crime by kidnapping David or something terrible.
Oh, wait a minute then I could rescue David and he'd have to give me cookies! Super heroes is always getting good rewards! So you can tell anybody you want!

You is probably wondering what my super powers is! I isn't telling you that either.
I is so mysterious!

i is coaching a big game Friday. I is not going to use my super powers to helps us win though. Even though the other guys is very very bad.
You is saying, �Shelby, how do you know they is bad?�
That am easy. I lives in the North and coaches North High School! Now if I lives there that mean that everything good must be up there too! And if all that good is up around me that means that there is nothing but bad stuff over there.
Over there am where they all live - South High School!
You probably don't know this but North am the opposite of South!! Since I is good that means North am good and since South am the opposite. You see?

Posted by Shelby at 9:10 PM | Comments (4)

September 9, 2006

My nose is bent out of shape!

P9060002 That am what David calls it. I calls it being plenty mad!
I told you about that eagle being mad at me cause I told my team how to best them Eagles last week. I figure that old eagle was plenty mad because he couldn't beats me up cause I is so big and strong. So he went and hurt him a mole!
You might not know what a mole is. They am a little tiny animal like a mouse and they lives under the ground! But this am important, they has tiny tiny little eyes and they has little hands like people hands!
They do!
You is probably asking yourself, “Why does a little animal needs people hands?”
I has figured it out!
They has little hands so they can opens little doors!!
I has figured out that underground is filled with little doors. Moles needs little hands to turn them little door knobs!
I don't needs hands cause I has David to open them doors for me!
Now I found this little mole and he was just lying there. I made David comes and picks him up so I could doctor him. I doctored him real good. I figured out that old mean Eagle hurted that little mole to scare me.
Now that makes me mad when big things hurts little things. See, this old eagle was wanted to scare me because last night we was to play the Hawks!
P9070005As you know Hawks am just little eagles! They is so! You can look it up and if your book don't say hawks am little eagles then you had better go get you a better book.
I has doctored that mole and he was good as new. I calls him Moley!
I was thinking about Moley when we was going to the game. One thing about my fellow coaches. THEY NEVER TELLS MY PLAYERS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!
They goes blah blah blah and all them players is near as bored as me! They never says blah blah blah and to win the game you has to score more touch down then them other guys do! They never says that so them poor players is out there not knowing what to do!
So before the game when them coaches is off playing tic tac toe. You think they'd get tired of it but that is all they do, make little x's and o's all over the paper. I took the chance to tell my team what I has just told you about Moley and that mean old Eagle. And I told them that they has to show them Hawks and Eagles we is not a scared! We has to go out and score touchdowns and win the game!P9090007
I told them that nobody ever says, “You is tough as a bird!” And they never says, “You is as smart as a bird!” Nobody says that but they is always saying you “Be as smart as Shelby! Be as tough as Shelby!” They also says how beautiful I is but that wouldn't help us win no football games, silly!
Then I says, “So go out there and score them touchdowns for Moley!”
And they was so mad about Moley they went out and beats up them Hawks real good and won the game 28-7!
I is a great coach!
Then, today I went and set Moley free. He was all healthy cause I is a great great doctor. And he said bye bye.
I got weighed. I has been on a diet for a month and I has lost NO WEIGHT!
See how stupid it is to not gives me all the food I want!
I has growed 2 more inches!
I has to get bigger to hold all the greatness I has in me.
But I still has not learned how to fly. But I is working on it!

Posted by Shelby at 6:18 PM | Comments (2)

September 3, 2006

I am just so great!

P8280003 Yesterday a EAGLE tried to fly down and beat me up!
You'll know why that big old bird did that when I tells you that on Friday my football team played his football team. His team is called Eagles but they is really just boys!
When we got to the eagles it was raining and they was some very good mud puddles. They was very interesting puddles and they was this bug. This bug he walked on the water. RIGHT ON TOP!
You know I is a great scientist so it am my job to study this bug and then I was thinking I could learn its trick for walking on the water!
People and by people I means David, might think I was just chasing a bug and playing in the mud. Some people, and I mean David, just don't understand science as good as you and me.
So my tams was outs there playing the game and that bug he finally just flew all the way away! I couldn't study him if he isn't there now could I!
I looks up and I sees my team is LOSING 14-10. My team was losing to Eagles! To birds!!
Losing to birds is very terrible!
David and them other coaches was all off playing tic tac toe on them clip boards they carry around. I watched them and shook my head. They is playing tic tac toe when my team needed help!
P8150008 So I calls my team together and I says, Men! See they is really boys and we all know how stupid boys is so I calls them men cause then they thinks they is better than they is! The hardest thing to remember when you is calling boys men is that you must not roll you eyes or stick out your tongue!
So I says, Mens! We is losing! I has to tell them this cause they is boys and they may not have realized it.
We has to win this game. So you has to go out there and score us a touchdown!! Them coaches and David is alwasy forgetting to tell them to get touchdowns! So when I says it they all goes That am a brilliant plan! Lets go get us a touchdown!
And they did and then the game ended and my team won 17-14 cause I is the greatest football coach in the world!

This week was David's birthday. This is not such a big deal as my birthday. He has had so many of them. He told me how old he was but he has made that number up! Nobody could be that old. I don't think they is such a number! I figure nobody is older than 4 kajillion. Which is how old I guess he really is.
For his birthday I gives him a good present! I gives him a kiss. He tasted terrible!
He didn't gives me nothing for his birthday!!

My friend Robin has sent me this movie. It is not so good as my movies but it am okay. You can watches it and sees it am some dogs who does not talk so good as me!

Posted by Shelby at 2:27 PM | Comments (4)