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December 2, 2006
Look what David has done now!
I knows how magnificent I looks. Stop looking at me!
Look at that very stupid ugly thing over there.
Does you see it?
Here am a better picture of a stupid thing.
Isn't that sad?
I would feel sorry for him except stupid David has bought him to live in MY HOUSE!
Can you believes the nerve of him!
I will tell you why he am so stupid and ugly.
He am a boy dog!
HE IS and that am easy to believe I can tell you.
He is Jack and he comes into MY HOUSE and he is shouting, “I is Jack and I is the greatest dog in the world!”
Me, I just goes, “Ahem.” I don't makes the noise I really says just that all soft and sweet in my beautiful voice I says, “Ahem. I is Shelby and I think we all knows that I is the greatest dog in the world.”
When he hears that I am the Shelby he sure got nothing more to say to that let me tell you! Being a boy he does say, “You got any food I can have?”
So I turns to David and I says still all sweet and very lady like just like I were a Queen, I says, “David, please tell me why this stinky smelly BOY dog am in my house, please tell me.”
You won't believe what he said even after I tells you. “Shelby Jack has lost his home. He is going to stay with us until he finds a new home. He has no place else to live.”
Only a stupid BOY dog could lose his home but I guess I has to be nice even if he does smell terrible. I thinks to myself at least it am not a stupid cat! Although that will probably be next!
Since he is going to be here FOR A LITTLE WHILE I figure I had better trains him up some and teaches him some things. I guess even a dumb old boy can learns him something even if I don't know what!
See he bought him a toy with him. Being a boy he bought him the wrong kind of football! I still is going to teach him how to play real good. It were real hard cause he am so dumb.
I is working so hard trying to teach Jack ANYTHING I forgets to go in an coach my Trojans. Without me them Trojans LOST!!
I apologizes for that but I had to teach this dog something or he was going to drives me crazy!
Then I stops cause my giant super brain figured something out!
Remember when they was trying to clone me so they could make kajillions of super dogs me?
It did not work! I know because I still has not met a dog as good as me!
I figure this is more of they evil plots. They can't grow another dog as great as me cause I is a miracle! So they thinks they can trick me to teaching another dog to be near as good as me!
HAH! See how stupid they is!
They could have at least started with a girl dog instead of this silly thing!
I is still going to beat Jack up real good and I will try to teach him something! It will be hard too! So I should gets lots of ice cream!
Send it to me now!
Posted by Shelby at December 2, 2006 11:34 PM
Comments
Shelby,
I did not think you were including me in the boy dogs are ugly and stupid category since I am your favorite brother and you say I get my good looks from you! I see what you mean about Jack, he is kind of silly looking.
I think you could trick Jack into going into the tub. Maybe you could tell him that treats come out of the faucet! If Jack gets a bath then he won't smell too bad, and you could get a good laugh at the same time.
When you get Jack all washed up and trained maybe someone will want to take him home with them. It is almost the holidays and you would not want Jack to be all alone. Good luck!
Oh yeah, we got a LOT of snow here, wish you were able to play in it with me :)
Posted by: jimmy at December 4, 2006 1:08 AM