I Am The Greatest Dog In The World!: I is going to be a great psychiatrist!

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March 25, 2007

I is going to be a great psychiatrist!

Duo-1 On Sunday Noelle went to her first party by herself!
She was going to meet people who might take her to her forever home!
This was very important for Noelle. Very important. So I gived her some advice.
I said whatever you do don't let them see you like you really are! You has to lie to them people so they don't know what you is really like!
I know what you is saying! You is saying, “Shelby! How could you! You shouldn't tell Noelle to lie! She has to be herself! She shouldn't try and trick people!”
Exactly right.
I is studying psychology. Noelle still has a lot of cat in her. You know how cats is. They never does anything you tells them! Oh, they is ornery things. They growls when they is happy and laughs and hisses when they is mad!
As I psychiatrist I has invented what I call cat psychology!
When you wants a cat to do something you tells them to do the exact opposite of what you wants them to do! Then they ends up doing just what they should be doing.
It is a very difficult idea and you is probably not smart enough to understand it. I was telling Noelle to be honest and to be herself! In a way the cat part of her brain would understand!
I is a genius.
P3180004
Hi! This is your reporter her royal majesty the Princess Noelle!
I am going to tell you stuff. It is very important stuff too. Very very important.
I went to a party. It were a party for me. There were other dogs there but it were a party for me. I know it!
See I got to wear a special royal collar and all the other dogs saw it and they all wanted to wear one too!
Of course they did. They all wanted to look as beautiful as me!
P3180018 See the collar there. It had magic spells on it. It said: “Please Adopt Me”. I am not sure what that means but isn't that the way it is with all magic spells?
See that little guy there? He was wearing one of my collars so I said to him, I said “If you wants to wear one of my magic collars you has to let me smell your butt!”
Of course he let me!
P3180002 Then this guy over here says, “Are you really Princess Noelle?”
I said, “Of course I am!”
To prove it I told him a joke! It is dirty joke about a cat who falls into a mud puddle!
Oh, we laughed and laughed!
See that dog behind he was all jealous cause he wanted to be my boyfriend too and have me tell him jokes and stuff!
P3180012 This guy here was very stuck up!
He said to me, “If you want to look at me you have to give me money! I am the Donation Dog! That is why I get to wear the special Donation Dog Coat!”
I said, “I don't have any money but I am still going to look at you!”
He thought about it some then said, “That is okay but don't tell anybody! I have to make a lot of money so I can feed them poor dogs who is not as lucky as us!”
I used to be a poor dog so I said it was a deal.
P3180007 Now I know why Shelby says boys are crazy!
This little boy kept attacking me!
Three times he attacked me! Just like you see him doing here. Two times I just beat him up real good.
You know Shelby and I watch wrestling. The Rock is our hero. We likes wrestling cause they have good ways of beating you up. We like all the yelling they do too.
The last time this boy attacked me I shouted real loud, “Do you smell what Noelle is cooking!?!” Then I just beat him up real good!
He was my friend after that.
I spent the rest of the day making sure everybody petted me.
If I don't get a forever house real quick I will go to another party.
I had fun!