« J-Dog did not bite me in my butt! | Main | IT IS SHELBY DAY! »
May 11, 2007
Everybody is so mean to me!
And I hasn't did anything to be mean to me for!
I is such a good girl who always does what she's told and I never begs for food or nothing really bad! Just cause I is always so nice to every body and hardly ever bites enough peoples in they butts everyone thinks they can be mean to me!
“Lets go be mean to Shelby! She is a good girl and won't bite out butts if we are mean to her!” I know you is all saying that. Everybody is just so mean.
It all started when this lady showed up.
She sure fooled me. I thought she was nice!
She comed right up to my house and you know what she had?
She came to my house with her house! She did!
She had this house that were on wheels and she dragged it along behind her car!
I was talking to her about this. I thought this was very smart. I thought it was so smart I couldn't believes that I didn't invents it first!
I told her, “You is pretty smart lady. You can go places and no matter where you goes you is already at home!”
I likes that. I thought I has to talk David into putting my house on wheels and then he can takes me where ever I wants to go. Of course he has to put my yards on the house to. I'm not going no place without my yard!
I pretty much liked this lady, at first. She spoke pretty good doggish and she told me her name was Kim.
I said, “Hello Kim. I is Shelby. You has probably heard of me. I is very famous!”
Then old snoopy J-Dog come snooping around going, “What you doing? What you doing? You getting cookies?”
Then Kim says, “Oh, you're J-Dog? I'll start with you. You're such a cute little thing!”
I thought that were pretty funny! J-Dog - CUTE!!
Then Kim played a pretty good joke. She gived J-Dog a bath. She did. Kim took J-Dog into her house and she just plopped her into the water and she started scrubbing!
I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe!
Kim just scrubbed and scrubbed and J-Dog kept saying, “I is clean! I rolled in some stuff today! You is taking all my good smells away!”
It were so funny!
And J-Dog looked so sad. I couldn't help but laugh. I yelled at her, “J-Dog you smells like a flower!” and, “Kim, Kim you missed a spot on her butt!”
I was having a real good time let me tell you!
And then she tied J-Dog to a giant vacuum cleaner and just started brushing her and brushing her!
It were the funniest thing I ever seed and I has seen some pretty funny things.
Then J-Dog runs into my house yelling, “I smells terrible! Help me! I don't want to smell like no flower!”
I just kept laughing and laughing.
Then Kim says, “Okay Shelby, your next!”
I just stopped and said, “Huh?!?”
Then the next thing I know Kim and David, you remember David who is supposed to me my friend? Well, he and Kim put me into this big tub and Kim gived me a bath!
Oh it was terrible. It is a good thing I is so brave. She poured boiling water all over me! And acid!
Look at that picture of me. I bet you is crying real hard thinking, “Poor Shelby! You is so good to everybody and this is the thanks you get!”
See I is being tortured but I is always just so brave.
See there. I is even trying to smile. Has you ever seed anything braver in your whole life. I mean anything as brave as me!
What a great dog I is. What a girl!
Then she went to tie me up in front of this big noisy oven! She was trying to cook me! She was!
And I yelled, “David! Help! She is trying to cooks your dog!”
And David comes running into the little house and I is thinking I is rescued!
You can see how tortured I was. I was thinking David was going to rescue me!
I says, “David! She is trying to cook me and she is trying to make my tough hard muscles all soft by cutting them up with razors!”
So you know what David did?
You is thinking, “If that were me Shelby I would have swooped in on my secret agent rope and scooped you up. Thrown down a smoke bomb and then we could have escaped!”
See, now that is a good plan!
Since that is such a good plan you know what. David did exactly not that.
No.
You know what David did?
He took my picture.
That is what David the hero did.
He took my picture.
So I had my bath.
I went inside and I was so mad.
Then David says, “Hey, the house sure smells better now that you guys are all clean!”
I thought this: “Well, yes it is certainly worth torturing your dog and blinding her with acid so that your little nose that can't smell nothing noways can be happy!”
That's what I thought let me tells you!
Then Kim came in.
I walked right up to her! See, when people is mean to you you can never let them see if you is afraid.
Kim petted me on my head and said, “You were very good big girl!”
I just stared at her. And now I is plotting my revenge!
Posted by Shelby at May 11, 2007 9:11 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://warchild13.com/cgi-bin/MT/mt-tb.cgi/713
Comments
Poor Shelby! That looks like a house of torture on wheels! J-dog looks like she was tortured worse than you! Kim's butt is right by your face in that picture, why didn't you bite it?
I get a bath in the bathtub. I don't smell like flowers after my bath because I'm not a girl. I smell like coconuts! That's tropical smelling. I act real good in the tub, then I go crazy running around. Catch meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Posted by: jimmy at May 12, 2007 1:33 AM
Shelby and J-Dog - I bet you both smell soooo good after your bath. Us humans have different noses and what smells good to you smells bad to us. Shelby - you look very very BEAUTIFUL after your bath. You and J-dog should be thankful that Kim did such a great job. Hopefully David gave you both cookies after such a tough day. It was worth it though. You look great. Hugs and kisses from Gramma.
Posted by: Anonymous at May 12, 2007 7:06 PM
Dear Niece Shelby,
You do look very shiny and beautiful! Sometimes pretty takes a little work. I was thinking about you today because I went to get a pedicure. Did Kim give you a pedicure, too? I should have had Gramma Julie do my pedicure, she would have been nicer than the very mean lady that did mine. I know if you would have gone with me you would have DEFINITELY bit that mean lady's butt! We would have had a good laugh at that!
Posted by: aunt sheryl at May 12, 2007 8:46 PM
Ha ha! Saku think wet dog very funny. Prizz to post more wet dog picture. Make special website, very honorable to enjoy. Wet dog all the time.
Posted by: Sakura at May 13, 2007 7:42 PM