June 27, 2007
People you doesn't know how lucky you is to have me!
Everybody is so mean to me and all I ever does is be great!
It is just not fair I tells you.
I never gets half the ice cream I needs! But do I complain?
Darn right I do but it don't do me any good. People is so mean!
I figure that it am because I is just so nice and gentle and sweet and beautiful. Cause I is Shelby people thinks they can push me around!
On Sunday J-Dog went to an Adoptithon.
I know it sounds silly but you know it am silly because J-Dog could go and I COULDN'T!
Does you remember Teddy and Panda? They was two dogs that I BEAT when we did the big dog race last month. They and Jack was on my team and I BEAT THEM ALL!
They spent the day looking at my butt cause they was walking and I was winning.
When I won I got me some ice cream a ball and a t-shirt. Those are very grand prizes but you know what they got FOR LOSING!
They got to go to the beach!
That is so unfair!
Look at all the fun they is having!
Now I is just saying since I is the greatest racing dog and beats them all fair and square shouldn't it be me having fun at the beach while they is at home practicing they racing?
You know darn well what the answer to that question is!
You is saying, “Oh Shelby, how mean they are to you! Everyone knows you are the dog that deserves to be at the beach!”
Stupid old David says, “Shelby you have to drive to the beach and you don't like to ride in cars. The beach is all sand and you don't like sand in your fur. And Shelby, the only thing to do at the beach is to play in the water and you don't like swimming except in your pool.”
Can you believe him? He really don't get it do he?
The point is that they is having fun and I isn't!!
Look at Jack there. Just look at him!
You can just see he is laughing and playing and saying to hisself, “HA HA SHELBY! You won the big race but I is having fun! I even chased a bird and I is eating fishes!”
See, this is the reason I is not always good.
Even when I is good other dogs gets to do stuff that I don't and its not fair!
Now I has been watching TV and I has figured stuff out.
I has decided to be president!
So whenever they do that voting thing you vote all the time for SHELBY!
When I is president I will make sure that I does everything in the world that is fun and if I is having fun then you know you will be happy!
See, that am logic.
I is not done yet! Look at this beautiful picture of Bronty!
You can see Nicole, cause it am she that has drewed him, has really met Bronty!
Bronty used to do that all the time with trees! I made him stop because trees is very important.
Bronty said, “Shelby, I is very hungry! Trees are a good snack for a dinosaur.”
I said, “Bronty, trees is too important to use just for snacks. You could eat cats instead!”
“Cats taste terrible Shelby! And they smells even worse!”
I said, “I KNOW!”
So now Bronty only eats bad people and grass. I was going to make money by having Bronty eat the grass in people yards so they'd never have to mow it again, but when they sees me and Bronty knocking on they doors they gets all scared!
Having a pet dinosaur is a lot harder than most people realize!
June 22, 2007
This is a very very bad day!
I is going to cry.
I know you is thinking. “What is so bad that Shelby could cry!”
Think of the worst thing that could happen it then double it and you is still not even close!
My Uncle Hank has gone to Rainbow Bridge. This am a very good place for dogs but it is still terrible that my Uncle Hank has goned there. Cause if he is there I can't call him on my mobile card phone or ever see him and tell him jokes or nothing.
I has knowed Uncle Hank since I was a itty bitty baby. Whenever my mom would go away and do mom stuff Uncle Hank would come in and plays with me. He would. I was his favorite of course. Then my mom would come in and she'd be all, “Hank! What is you doing!?! Stop spoiling them babies!”
Then Uncle Hank would be all, “I'm sorry.” But as soon as my mom went away Uncle Hank be right up there playing with us again!
He were so great. I probably inherited most of my greatness from him!
That am my Uncle Hank there. He am so handsome. This is his Super Hero Name: BSCA Select Ch. Liswyn's Hyper Hank CD, OAP, OJP, RN. All them letters means he am great!
When he had a big operation the first person he comed to see was me. I told him lots of good jokes and he showed me how to dance and jump!
It is very sad that he is gone to Rainbow Bridge. I is still glad he is my Uncle.
<-- That am him.
I has to go doctor people now. I will doctor them even greater than I was cause I don't want no one else to leave me.
I love you Uncle Hank.
I is going to go cry now.
Don't let nothing happen to any of you!
June 13, 2007
I has been recuperating!
I is just so busy!
Oh, people thinks it is very easy to be me. They thinks I says to myself, “Shelby, you is just so great everything is easy for you!”
That is true. I does say that some of the times.
But last week I sure wasn't!
My brother comed to town! JIMMY!
I is very sorry to say that Jimmy is all boy!
But you know what makes me laugh?
J-Dog am his girl friend!
Isn't that just so sad.
J-Dog was going all over saying stuff like, “Jimmy is going to get me my own hamburger!” and, “Jimmy is going to let me drive his car!” and “Don't you think Jimmy is cute?”
Of course Jimmy am going around saying stuff like, “Girls is always chasing after me cause I am so good looking!”
I said something I heard on TV, I says, “Riiiiight!” Just like that! “Riiiight!”
That means I is not really believing him but am just pretending I am.
Now Jimmy is good looking. He has he has inherited some of my good looks.
You can see that.
See, that am Jimmy. -->
You is probably thinking to yourself, “Stop trying to trick us Shelby!! That am you only you has lost all your fighting muscles! Has you been sick?”
You is just being silly! Of course I has not been sick!
Here am proof!
Now that little bitty dog that don't know how to sit real good, that am Jimmy.
The big beautiful dog that knows how to sit real good, that am me of course!
<-- See, it am that picture there.
Jimmy comed with my Aunt Sheryl and my Uncle Chuck.
They is only people so they are not very interesting, but Jimmy says he loves them so I let them stay in my house.
I gived them J-Dogs room!
That were a good trick on J-Dog! She had to share a room with David!
I was laughing about that one.
One thing I was trying to teach Jimmy, was, this is like a bad family secret but Jimmy lives him with a CAT!
I know. I is so ashamed.
I tries to teach him but he am a boy and boys is just never going to be as smart as a girl.
Jimmy says, “I know cats smell terrible and they are very mean and even stupider than J-Dog but I loves them.”
Stop shaking your head. It am amazing but what can you expect. I feel terrible I didn't get to teach him gooder than that.
But you know what Jimmy got me?
It am a brand new swimming pool!
It is much gooder than the pool David got for me.
That am because a dog bought it for me. And a stupid boy dog am still smarter than a stupid boy person!
It is a very very good pool.
To say thank you to Jimmy, and remember I is always very polite. So to say, “Thank you, Jimmy for the pool you was so smart in giving to your bigger and more beautiful sister,” I took Jimmy to my private woods!
Jimmy was pretty impressed but he is still just a boy.
Even though it am my woods he was always trying to show me the way to go.
I know, only a boy who has never been there before would try and show a girl the way around her own woods!!
It were still pretty fun. Jimmy kept trying to show me how a river was nearly as good as my swimming pool!
I was getting tired of Jimmy running around all silly. Aunt Sheryl, Uncle Chuck and Dumb David was crashing around pretty good they ownselves so I knew we wasn't going to have no chance to sneak up on no bears or tigers or dinosaurs!
You has to be pretty quiet to catch them guys. Jimmy kept saying he was going to catch him a tiger to gives as a present to J-Dog!
Then I was pretty glad they was all so noisy. Tigers am just giant cats and I sure didn't want no giant cat in my house!
Then I had me an idea! As usual when I gets an idea you know it is a genius idea!
First thing was I had to get Jimmy to stop crashing through the woods. He were busy yelling, “Come here tigers! I am going to bite your butts and give you as a present to my girlfriend!”
Take my word for it. That is not the way you catches a tiger! At least not around my house it isn't.
I finally gets him to quiets down and then I takes him to show him my biggest prize!
The dinosaur I has trained and taught to be smart!
Of course he was just where I left him. I always remembers to tell Bronty, “STAY!”
Since I has trained him of course Bronty stays right where I has told him to.
If only David and J-Dog were as smart as Bronty. Wouldn't my life be easier!
First thing Jimmy wants to know is if he can have him a dinosaur toe to eat!
Everybody knows dinosaur toes am the most delicious food in the world. That is why people all over the world is always looking for them and that is why dinosaurs am nearly extinct! Everybody wants one of them dinosaur toes.
I told Jimmy, “No, you cannot have one of them dinosaur toes!”
I'll tell you why. Uncle Chuck am a great cook! He drops lots of food! He even knows how to cook outside! I know! I couldn't believes it either but I was there and I saw it! And I ate it too!!
Jimmy kept bragging (when he wasn't playing with his girlfriend) how he was going to make Uncle Chuck cook us some of that Cheeseburger Pizza!!
You notice I is not writing about how delicious Cheeseburger Pizza am. That am because I didn't get me any!
I even showed Jimmy how I could make David gives me ice cream anytimes I needs it!
So Jimmy didn't get no dinosaur toe until I gets me some Cheeseburger Pizza!
See, I is not being selfish. I is teaching him!
Jimmy has goned home now.
I misses him a little bit. I misses Aunt Sheryl and Uncle Chuck cause they is great cooks!
They can always comes back so long as they have that good food and Uncle Chuck cooks!
I don't miss J-Dog cause she is still here!
As usual I is still Shelby, the greatest dog in the world!