September 24, 2007
How Shelby Saved The Day Again (I is Shelby)
You has to remember how modest I is. Being modest is a big part of being so great like I is.
So you remember that so when I tells you this story you will be realizing that as great as I might sound I is really about a kajillion times greater than I is telling you. Okay?
It was Sunday and I was bored bored bored.
I hasn't had any great adventures for nearly a week. So I says, “David, we has to do us some exploring.”
I was already to argue about it but I was surprised cause David said, “Great idea, Shelby!” Like I ever has any ideas that's not great!
Of course David has to ruins it a little bit by saying, “Let's take the boys!”
I was all ready for an adventure so I made a mistake. I know it am hard to believe I could ever make a mistake but I did, I said, “Sure!”
Boys! On an adventure? You can't see me but I is shaking my head.
I decided we should go to the woods and hunt for dinosaurs! I figured if we don't find no dinosaurs we might find a bear or a lion. I figures boys could beats up a little old lion if I is there to helps them.
Of course when we gets there first thing the boys do is runs and runs all over the place just smash smashing around knocking people over, oh it was a sight to see and I had to keeps saying to people, “I is sorry they is so crazy.”
And people says back to me, “That's okay Shelby, they're boys. They can't help it.”
But I was thinking we is never going to catch us no dinosaurs! You has to sneak up on dinosaurs cause they is very shy and great at hiding!
So I starts off and I is thinking, “Well, maybe we can catch us a lion. They is no where near as smart as dinosaurs.”
Then the trouble starts.
I says, “Lets go this way! This is the way to go!”
And, who else but David says, “Oh, I think its prettier over there. Lets go that way!”
At first I was thinking, “Why's David need pretty. He's got me to look at!” But I goes his stupid way even though I can tell just by smelling this is not where the lions live.
So we keeps going like that for a while, me saying, “This is the way to go David.” And all them boys just ignoring me.
So of course pretty soon we is lost!
Then of course them dumb old boys is all going, “Shelby, help us! How do we get out of the forest!”
And I tells them, “I don't know! You was all making us go this way!”
They is boys so they won't give a smart girl a minute to think. They just starts smashing around again until they is so lost the don't know whats to do!
Even smart Ben wasn't much help, he said, “I am having fun and I don't care if they are lost. I know where I am!”
Pretty soon they gots all thirsty and even I was feeling hungry so they starts crying again. “Oh Shelby, helps us!”
So I puts my nose down and I starts walking real fast. I found me a girl dog, who you know know is usually pretty smart, and I says to her, “Excuse me ladie I is with a bunch of stupid boys who has got us all losted in this here forest!”
She said, “Oh them boys! They will always get a smart girl lost!”
We talked a bit about how stupid them boys is and then I asked the important question: “How do I get home?”
The ladie dog says to me, “You is very beautiful and very polite and you is smart enough to understand so I will tell you!” And she gived me directions,
It was very hard getting them dumb old boys to listen to me but they finally did and that is how I got them home and saved the day again!
I is so great and mean old David wouldn't even give me a treat! He said, “You're still on a diet Shel!”