« Ben and me got bored | Main | HAPPY HALLOWEEN! »
October 29, 2007
I am making my confession
I am in so much trouble.
Its not my fault. Really, it isn't. Not all my fault, anyway.
Its just that Shelby, ever since she's been here, all I hear about is how great she is, what a great fighter she is, all the great adventures she has. “Shelby's such a good doctor dog!” “Did you know she's a brilliant lawyer dog as well?” On and on and on, that's all they talk about!
By the way, my name is Blue. I'm pretty famous too, don't you know. Blue Stop That, every where I go people are always shouting that at the top of their voices.
People get pretty excited whenever I'm around.
But my BIG trouble with Shelby started when we was out playing. One thing you know about Shelby is that she is a real dog about biting butts! She'll bite your butt for almost nothing! I mean, just try and take her Kong or something! WHAM, your butt is bit! I know, boy do I know.
I bet I get my butt bit for using her computer without asking!
I don't know how else to tell her. I sure don't want my butt bit anymore than it has been!
Shelby and I were out hunting rabbits. She was saying I have to learn to catch something like a rabbit before I can hunt dinosaurs with her and Ben. We watched a lot of Bugs Bunny cartoons so I was a little bit nervous about this rabbit thing.
I just started to talk about France. I'm a French Poodle so I figure I probably know some stuff about France that Little Miss Know-It-All doesn't.
I'd only been telling her all the great things I know about France for 20 minutes or so, just talking all intelligent about stuff like how French for dog is “chein” and how poodles are great hunting dogs. I was just fascinating!
I know I was cause Shelby didn't say nothing for the whole time.
Then she said, “I'm from Belgium. Belgium am better than France. You never even been to France!”
I was just floored and said as polite as bees wax, “WHAT! FRANCE IS A LOT BETTER THAN DINKY OLD BELGIUM! AND GIRLS ARE TERRIBLE DRIVERS!”
Od course I said that while I was running away. Shelby has a terrible temper and any little thing just sets her off!
While she was chasing me she said, “France don't even has no football!”
I said, “You're just a stupid girl! France won the World Cup in football!”
That sure stopped her!
Shelby said, “Football? I is a football coach, I has never coached in no World Cup! Wait, you don't mean football you mean soccer!”
I can be pretty brave when I've got a car between Shelby and my butt. I said, “You're stupid! Soccer is football and its the most popular sport in the world and they don't let girls coach it!”
If you look real close at that picture there you can see where Shelby bit my butt! It hurt so terrible. I bet there was blood and everything. Just cause you can't see it doesn't mean its not there!
I was so mad. Shelby is such a bully!
I was so mad I went home a chewed up some of my mom's delicious shoes!
When my mom came and found them she knew it was me who did it!
AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN CATCH ME DOING IT!
She said I was a bad boy and everything!
I felt real terrible about it. People are so mean to a dog who never does anything bad. Shelby told me that and it is true! Then I realized!
I bet Shelby told on me!
I bet she did!
What do you do when you are so mad at somebody who is a terrible mean butt biter.
What can you do when you need to get even with somebody who is a great fighter.
I was so mad I did a very very bad thing. But she deserved it.
There is this toy that smells like Shelby and like her brother. Shelby calls it Blue Jimmy.
I got that toy and I pretended it was Shelby!
I beat it up real good. Just the way I'd beat up Shelby if she didn't fight back!
I could beat Shelby up real easy if she'd be nice enough to just stand still and take it.
I was thinking all that stuff when I realized: I had killed Blue Jimmy.
I didn't mean to.
Honest.
I bet Shelby is going to beat me up when she reads this.
That's not fair. You shouldn't beat up a dog who feels real sorry for enjoying doing a bad thing.
Really.
It's not fair.
She'll probably get Ben to help her beat me up.
Everybody;s so mean to me and it is really everybody else's fault!
If everybody was nice to me and just gave me everything I wanted and listened to everything I said and did everything I told them to do I'd never get mad at nothing and then I'd never get into trouble and they wouldn't all look at me mean and I'd be happy.
Now I'm scared of getting beat up.
AND I AM SAYING I'M SORRY even if its not my fault.
It was just a dumb old toy even if it was a present from your brother.
You shouldn't scare a dog Shelby. You should be nice to me and take me dinosaur hunting cause rabbits is a lot scarier than dinosaurs and you know it.
Posted by Shelby at October 29, 2007 8:14 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://warchild13.com/cgi-bin/MT/mt-tb.cgi/757
Comments
Hey there Blue Stop That,
You had better stop eating your mom's shoes and Shelby's toys. She liked Blue Jimmy! If you don't stop being so naughty I am going to come up there and pull the stuffin out of you!
Be nice to Shelby even if she can be a big PAIN IN THE BUTT! Ha ha!
Posted by: mad jimmy at October 31, 2007 11:27 AM
I am Robin. I am Blue's older, calmer, brother. We voted and so I am here to present Blue's defense.
Blue is not an entirely bad boy. He can be fun to play with when he's not 'in place' and he does demand that we get good food and that its never late!
Blue only ate mom's shoes because she tastes better than David. Ben (Blue's older, wiser, brother) says this is because David doesn't eat enough garlic, but we are working on that too!
Posted by: Ben, Robin & Blue at November 3, 2007 7:51 PM