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December 31, 2007

As usual I is the champion! I Wonned School!


WINNER I is the Champion!
And it were easy!
For all you Doubting Wilburs and Doubting Normas here am real proof!
I won the second grade. And I never even went to first grade!
I is a super genius and now you has to really really believes it instead of just knowing it!
The only bad part was they didn't lets me make a speech!
I is a great speechmaker and I would have teached them all even gooder!
Ribbon See, there am my ribbon. It says FIRST PLACE.
There am a piece of paper that went with it. It said something like "Shelby Is The Greatest Dog In The World And We Don't Know Why We Even Tried To Beat Her," or something very much like that.
That am me down there eating my prize. My prize were a cookie! It were delicious!
Lizzie This am some of the other dogs who were in class with me.
This one is Lizzie. She am wearing a wreath!! It is very beautiful.
When I saw that I told David to run home and get my wreath so I could wear it and look real beautiful too!
He wouldn't do it. Big surprise there. Even with me as a role model he is still very very lazy. I don't know what else to do with him!
Chevy That yellow dog is Chevy!
I asked her why her name was the name of a car and she said, "Cause I is fast and beautiful!"
She told me some pretty good jokes. She thought school was a lot of fun!
I guess it were.
Blue Blue did not win. He has done with school and finished second grade and he has graduated but he did not win. I went up there to see if he got a cookie!
HE DID!!
I looked at his cookie. It were a good cookie.
My cookie were better.
I would has shared it but since Blue already had him a cookie it was okay to eats it all by myself!
If Blue did not get his own cookie than maybe I would have shared him some of mine.
Maybe.
Winners All Maybe.
But probably not!

My Gramma wroted me for Christmas.
You knows I has a sister who am named Donita.
Guess what?
She got to go to Southern California.
That am where my USC Trojans am.
Now guess what?!?
She went to a dog show!
The AKC Invitational.
That am a dog show for champions.
I guess my invitation got lost in the mail with me moving and all.
And now really guess what?!?!
She won Best Female Belgian Sheepdog!
And she won Best Bred By Exhibitor Belgian Sheepdog.
She got all her good looks from me, we all know that.

Posted by Shelby at 12:22 AM | Comments (6)

December 29, 2007

Things I'd Take With Me To The Moon

This am a very good movie for my New Years presents to you!
You know it am not really new years. My new year starts May 15. You can start saving to buy me a present now.
But since all of you is silly and can't keep these important things in you brain you think this am new years.
I is going along with this. Us psychological dogs call this "giving up trying to learn you nothing".

This am a very big and great movie.
It may be too big for somes of you. It were too big for YouTube. I is very famous on the YouTube and they has shrunked my movie all up! You can still sees it there if you has to. My Great Movie All Shrunked Up For YouTube am right there if you clicks on it.
I hopes you can sees the big one gooder cause then you will for sure have a happy New Years!

Posted by Shelby at 2:44 PM

December 26, 2007

It has been Christmas!


What did you get?
I is going to show you something. That am my tree. I know it am beautiful! See, this am Christmas Eve. There am no presents under that tree!
Now look at this! Do you see? It am filled with all the greatest presents in the world!!
Santa brung them to me!
It am not good for you to be so jealous!
You don't know how hard I had to work at being a good girl to get all that loot! It were a terrible amount of work. Just terrible!
If them pictures made you jealous these are going to make you crazy!
This am a picture of my bones!
Thems am busy bones and a special bone for my buddy Ben! Do you know what makes it special? It am made out of fishes!
Its true. I has smelled it and that am a fish bone let me tell you!
This am me loving my Busy Bone. I won and ated mine fastest!
It were delicious!
Blue were crazy! He has never had him no Christmas busy bone before. He thought it were made just for him cause it were so perfect a food!
Blue were talking to it!! He were saying, "Come here mon cher petite, so I can bites you and licks you and eats you all up."
He am French and talks in crazy words that am not good words like I talk.
Santa bought Ben a new shirt! Ben am now an official Alpine Dog. I am a little jealous of that cause you gets a medal with that shirt!
If you squints really hard you can kind of see it. It am a golden snowflake!
Golden means it am all shiny and stuff.
Shiny am very very good.
Now Robin he got him a DUCK!
It were a very good duck. It used to go "QUACK QUACK!"
You mights have noticed I said it were a very good duck.
It were UNTIL ROBIN TORED OUT THE QUACKER!
Boys!
Blue got him TWO Christmas presents. See, he got him a little bear and when you bites that bear it LAUGHS!
It laughs when Blue bites it. I is pretty sure if I bites that bear it wouldn't be laughing let me tell you!
Here am one more picture to makes you jealous!
I gots so much stuff. Look!
There were even more! I gots a Monster that you pulls its head and it snaps right back. I gots all kinds of chews and cookies!
Santa were very very good to me this year.
You notices I says Santa?
That am because cheap old David didn't gets me nothing!
And I gived him the best present he ever ever gots.
I gived him a big kiss.
That am a great present and I gives each of you one too.

Posted by Shelby at 12:46 PM | Comments (0)

December 24, 2007

It am going to be tomorrow real real soon!!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, Felices Pasquas, Hristos Razdajetsja, Feliz Navidad, Frohe Weihnachten, Shuvo Baro Din, Winshuyu sa Svyatkami, Zalig Kerstfeest, Feliz Natal, Feliz Navidad China Sheng Tan Kuai Loh, Feliz Navidad para todos, Sretan Bozic, Eftihismena Christougenna, Noeliniz kutlu olsun ve yeni yili, Vesele Vanoce, Sung Tan Chuk Ha, Glaedelig Jul, Mboni Chrismen, Hauskaa Joulua, Joyeux Noel, Boas Festas, Nollaig Shona dhuit, Mo'adim Lesimkha, Buon Natale, Boas Festas, Prettige Kerstdagen, Gledelig Jul, Bara Din Mubarrak Ho, Mutlu Noeller.
That ought to take care of most of you!
Wishes I is so glad Christmas am coming tomorrow. I is so tired of being good!
My Christmas wishes am that all them dogs in shelters has them enoughs to eat today tomorrow and forever! And that they all gets them forever homes even if I is not there to teaches them to be good.
I wishes David could get just a little smarter.
I wishes that Jimmy could visit me and he could gets him a little smarter too!
I wish all the peoples who lives with me could get a lot smarter, especially them boys!
I wishes everybody could be as happy as me.

Posted by Shelby at 11:16 AM | Comments (4)

December 22, 2007

Only 3 sleeps to Christmas!!!

1 2 3 4

Posted by Shelby at 8:19 PM | Comments (1)

December 16, 2007

It were Graduation Day!

Page 1
Page 2 Page 3

Posted by Shelby at 7:40 PM | Comments (5)

December 13, 2007

I has got some good jokes!


Shelby It really snowed hard today!
Know why? I will tell you.
Santa's sleigh runs on snow, on top of it see. And the more snow the more presents he can carry. Cause more presents mean it am heavier and it needs more snow so it don't sink!
That am science. You can look it up.

When I was out playing in the snow I comed up with some good jokes.
Now these jokes is pretty funny so don't you get sick laughing or nothing cause Santa might think I am a bad girl who made you sick. So you can laughs just a little.

What would you call Santa if he becomed a famous detective?

SANTA CLUES!
Do you get it?

Okay here am another great one!

What do you call Santa if he gets caught in your chimney?

CLAUS-TROPHOBIC!!

Blue That am Blue trying to think up a good joke like that one. He am just a boy so I will be nice and good and not say how dumb boys is and how terrible boys is at making up great jokes. There's a whole lot of things I is not saying! Cause I am such a good girl.
I got one more! You is so lucky you am my friend.

What does you call a boy who don't believes in Santa?

A rebel without a CLAUS!!

I comed up with that one watching a movie on TV. It were not a great movie. It had no dogs in it. What good am a movie without no dogs in it!
Okay I tells you one more cause you is laughing so hard.

What do you call a mean old cat who hits a good girl dog on her nose just for smelling it when that cat am so bad it am not going to get no presents from Santa?

A de-CLAUS-ed cat!

Okay, that one am not great. It am pretty good but it am not a great joke but I is trying to be good and not say bad things about nobody so I gets me lots and lots of presents!
Wreath See that?
That am my Christmas wreath!
It am a very great wreath. I has had it my entire life! So you know how good it am!
I has it hanging on the gates in my yard.
If you sees it while you am walking around you can come in and say hi!
I is always very glad to see my friends. Especially if they am bringing me presents!

Posted by Shelby at 11:48 PM | Comments (0)

December 9, 2007

I is now the world's greatest dog trainer too!


My Back Yard I has taught Blue, who am a dumb old boy as you might remember. It am very hard to keeps track of what you remembers you know.
Anyway, I has taughted Blue so good he has graduated our training class.
I is a great teacher.
I has had one little tiny problem. I was working so hard getting Blue to graduate that I forgots to do it myself!
It am okay. I has next week to take the test. It were very easy. And you get treats!
Christmas Lights I has gone around and looked at all the houses in my neighborhood.
You remember Jack? You see this here house that am all lit up and real Christmassy?
Jack thinks that am MY house!!
It am not my house Jack!
My house am gooder than that!
That big picture up top there am my backyard. It am pretty good, pretty good.
When I is done decorating my house will look a kajillion times better than that house Jack!
Christmas lights I has also figured out why you needs to put all them lights on you house!
It am so Santa Claws can find you gooder!
Think about it! Santa comes at night! Houses all look the same when you is flying up high. You is starting to figure it out now, right?
So I has told David that he has to put this up on our roof: THIS AM SHELBY'S HOUSE SHE AM A GOOD GIRL.
It has to be be in very bright lights and he has to spell it out in doggish!
I is being so good. I just knows I is going to get lots and lots of presents!
Some bad girl thought her a good plan but she didn't do it.
You isn't bad if you just thinks of stuff and then doesn't do them!
Shelby See this girl who am not me, no mam, her plan were to write to Santa and tells her all the bad things that Robin and Blue has done. And since Santa probably already has presents for them two and since Santa don't bring presents to bad dogs well, then she could just give them presents to me! I mean, that bad girl, Santa could gived them presents to that bad girl who were going to be a tattle tale! And that bad girl sure weren't me!
Sides it am not bad just thinking about it!
It isn't.
My brother Jimmy had him a Christmas party!
I think my invitation it got losted in the mail.
You know what my aunt told me? She said Jimmy were so mad I wasn't at his party that he bited some peoples!! And he has eated stuff he was told no too!
I don't think so. I is taking Jimmy's case and will study up on it. I know that Jimmy am a boy but not even a boy would be so dumb as to bites people and steal stuff right before Christmas!!
I will takes the case! I will prove that Jimmy am innocent! If I can't prove he am innocent I will prove that he am crazy!
Don't you worry Jimmy. I will makes sure you gets you some Christmas!

Posted by Shelby at 7:46 PM | Comments (1)

December 4, 2007

What it means when you is so great is that you is so busy!

Mainly I has been busy trying to be good. It am not easy!
Christmas am coming so I is going to have to do it!
The things I go through for presents.
Where does I start?
I is still going to school. It is very stupid!
The teacher, Erin, she says, "Shelby, you are the smartest student I have ever seen! And you are so beautiful!"
She said something like that I'm sure. I wasn't really paying much attention.
There were this other dog there, Rocky, and he were trying to fight me! He kept walking into my side of the classroom so, of course, I hads to tell him to knock it off.
Anyway I is sure Erin said them words. Maybe not in exactly that order but I am sure she said them words some place or other.
You can see my new movie up there. It am pretty good.
We had lots and lots of snow! Shelby See there am a picture of me. Isn't I cute? That picture were on Saturday when I was explaining to some kids about being good so they gets lots of presents!
See there am green grass still on the ground!
Look!! -->
Shelby Blue Snow Now looks at that picture.
This one
<--
That am Sunday morning!
At first I was a little worried about walking in all that snow. All the snow I knowed before were only this deep! That Sunday snow were that deep!
It am very different. And a brave dog like me am not afraid of anything she knows but you have to be really stupid to not be afraid of stuff you don'ts know!
Neighbors I checked it out for you pretty careful. You can watches the movie and see that snow am FUN! You have the Shelby promise that it am a good idea to play in lots of snow.
You remember my neighbor? She am the little girl dog Blue said smelled like a flower!!! Oh she were mad!
We walked by her house and she saw Blue and she were just jumping! She were yelling, "Let me at him!"
Blue and neighbor Blue went over and apologized to her. He said, "I am very sorry I said you smelled like a flower. You really smells like a big old moose!"
Blue am such a flatterer! A flatterer am a guy who says things that are too nice to be true.
She said, "Why, thank you Mister Blue. You can walk by my house anytime now and I won't beat you up!"
Blue That were a big load off Blue's mind. He has fighted me too many times, he knows how tough us girls am!
Let me see. What has has happened?
Me and Ben went us looking for adventures. We was thinking we could catches us a polar bear or something else really great!
We didn't catches us nothing!
Ben I has figured out that it were too cold and there were too much snow for any animals except two tough dogs like me and Ben!
We had us a lot of fun anyway. Of course we did. Two friends playing am always gooder than playing by yourself, even when one self am me! If you is ever alone you can always come play with me and Ben. We is fighting, eating playing dogs!
One thing was very interesting.
Shelby When I walks on the snow I sinks in right up to my tummy.
But when Ben walks on snow her walks right on top of it!
He says this am a trick he has learned from a ancient chinese dog he knowed. It am a very good trick. Ben says it lets his feet gets cold but the rest oh him just stays warm as a dogs tummy!
Just look at the photographic evidence you Doubting Wilburs and Janes!
They has been so many other great adventures. I is tired now. I has been doing an awful lot and CHRISTMAS AM COMING!
I could listens to me talks all day but it am hard talking to you when you can't talks back to me. Sometimes I like it when peoples talks back to a dog. I will tells you real soon enough about my Christmas plans.
Oh, and this Sunday I has to take a test! I DO! I will pass it. I isn't no super genius for nothing!

Posted by Shelby at 12:13 AM | Comments (1)