February 12, 2008
I wishes I wased a policeman!Then I could arrests David.
He has been him terrible bad just terrible.
I has put my picture on that poster cause if I put in David's picture you would be too scared to read any more!!
Especially when I tells you the terrible mean thing he has done!
It am so terrible I can hardly breathes just thinking about it!
We will starts us with Exhibit A! (That am lawyer talk cause when you finds out what David did you will know he needs him a lawyer!).
That am Ben. Don't he looks like a good happy dog?
He am just thinking about how he wishes he could have him some ice cream for dinner when something terrible happened!
Can you believes it?!?
Mean old Dave has just scooped in and gived poor poor ben a BATH!!!
Poor Ben. I would have said something nice to him but I were a little bit busy laughing. There am something pretty funny about somebody else getting them a bath.
Before I could ask Ben if he wanted me to be his lawyer when he sued David for mean and malicious bath giving, (Malicious am a lawyer word. It means there weren't no reason to do it except to be a mean guy. David am a very mean guy.) David scooped on down and you know what?
HE GIVED ME A BATH!!
Don't I look just terrible terrible sad?
You can probably cries for me.
Ben said, "Great Greasy toads and buttermilk, Shelby! What got into that man? Giving two great dogs stupid old baths!"
I said, "I don't knows Ben. I really don'ts. I figure he am just pure evil, Ben. Pure evil"
"Well, mud and rain Shelby it is sure lucky for David that we are tough. That soap he put on burned like acid! I didn't know water could be so hot!"
"And then he made it so cold Ben. So terrible terrible cold."
"Well by the great butt of the dog star I tain't never taking me another bath! They is bad for you! Can you smell me Shelby? Do I smell as bad to you as I do to me?"
"Yes Ben, we both smells just terrible.
"Its a dang good thing he gave me some of that delicious chicken after my bath or I don't know what kind of powerful beating I'd have given him! What he give you Shelby?"
"He gived me chicken too Ben. It were delicious. But that am hardly the point. It weren't enough chicken to make up for this terrible crime!"
"I do look pretty good though, don't I?"
"Yes Ben. You looks okay for a boy."
"I sure did like that chicken! Now that its over why don't we go and whimper real sad at David. Do you think if we look real real sad he'll give us some more of that chicken?"
"It am worth a try Ben, it surely am worth a try!"
So we tried it and it worked and we got more chicken!
Let that be a lesson to you Mr Evil David!
My brother Jimmy am throwing him a fit because he thinks he am just a dumb old boy!
Jimmy, you am a boy! You can't help that. There am nothing can be done to fixes it BUT you am my brother so you has inherited a lot of smarts from me! I figures you am 80% brother and only 20% dumb old boy!
That am pretty darn good!
Millie am getting her an operation tomorrow. I is sorry I can't be there to doctors you. Them other doctors am pretty good though. I has trained them up to be really near as great as me. And remember your doctor am a girl so she knows what she's doing let me tell you!
You get well and writes me again to tell me how braves you were!
Posted by Shelby at February 12, 2008 8:38 PM
I am not JUST your brother, I am your FAVORITE brother! That Ballou, well, he's no Jimmy, that's for sure. I got my teeth brushed tonight. It gives me good breath for giving kisses. It's real cold here, and we still have a lot of snow. We are supposed to get MORE snow this weekend.
I don't know who Millie is but I am glad her surgery is over and hope she is feeling better.
Hi Ben! :)
Posted by: jimmy at February 16, 2008 1:44 AM