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October 10, 2008
I is now a politician!
I has gotted me an email from my old buddy Jack.I likes hearing from old friends as much as I like hearing from new friends.
You know what?
You will never guesses no matter how many times you guess.
Jack am him running for PRESIDENT!
That's right! I couldn't make up no jokes like that!I know what you am thinking. There am their picture.
Now, what am wrong with this picture? You is probably thinking that.
I will tell you in case you am a boy. IT AM TWO BOYS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!!
BOYS! Who would be stupid enough to let boys be in charge of anything!?!
I is sure that you has noticed that whenever anything am really really messed up it am a boy who has done the messing and it am always a girl who has to come in and cleans up the messes!
It am true. All you has to do am thinks bout it for a minute and you will know it am so!
This am very worrisome. If Jack am in charge I just knows he will messes stuff up. Even though I has taught Jack pretty good I only teached him stuff for a few months. It takes you years
and years to teaches a boy anything and even then boys will usually forgets the smart stuff you has teached them. It am so true.Just look at David and you will know how true it am. I has teached him for 3 years and he still hardly knows anything. I has to watches him very careful.
So I has put my super genius brain to work on this problem because I knows that if a boy he am running things it will be just a terrible terrible mess. And I is not going to cleans it up!
I has figured out that the only way to stop Jack from messing things up is to take a job where I can bosses him and everybody else.If Jack am going to be him a president I will has to be the Queen!
Queen Shelby. You has to admit that do sound just so right. Don't it?
To keep the boys happy. You has to keep boys happy. They am just so many of them and when they is unhappy they do so many dumb things trying to be happy that you just don't want to knows about it!
I has decided to let Robin be my Vice-Queen! Boys will say, "We have to obey Queen Shelby. She can beat us up! And Robin is a boy just like us so he will make sure Shelby doesn't make any rules
that might make us be smarter or cleaner or other stuff us boys don't like to be!"Boys! Only a boy could think Robin could bosses me even a little bit! But they will think that. Then they will votes for me! I is such a super genius!
I has picked Robin instead of Blue because Robin am very calm. He always says, "Shelby, I know you can beat up anyone in the world but sometimes you just shouldn't!" And Robin am always biting David and that makes me laugh.
Blue always is saying, "Shelby, can you beat up this guy for me?"
When I is the Queen me beating everybody up might start wars or something stupid.
Robin were him so excited to find out that he were going to be my Vice Queen he runned right out and got hisself a hair cut! Don't he look dumb!
I was laughing and laughing and Robin him said, "My mom thinks I look beautiful with my hair cut. She said I was gorgeous. That's the word she used: Gorgeous! That means really beautiful, almost as beautiful as Shelby!"Of course I just laughed at him even harder. He will be a great Vice Queen.
First thing I has to do is gets people to votes for me. Blue wanted to help. I said okay so he am my campaign manager. First thing he done was to take him a nap. That am a lot smarter than most boys usually is.
I said, "What we needs am a big parade!"
Robin said, "That's a great idea, Shelby!" That am why he will makes a good Vice Queen! He knows when to agrees with me.
Of course old Blue wants him to be in the parade.
Then my big brain starts thinking. We can't just have us no parade for nothing! I
knows that people gets a thrill getting to see me but if I has to go out and walks around I thinks I should get paid for it!So I has me even another super genius idea! I will have a parade so that people can looks at me AND they has to give us money to save all them poor dogs who don't has them no good forever home!
You is saying to yourself now, "That Shelby is so smart! She'll be a great Queen! I wish I could vote for her a thousand times!"
There am a picture of us starting out on our campaign trail. Blue am in front and I is in the middle! Blue's job am to yell, "Vote For Shelby!"
Blue am very good at yelling even if he do forget what he am supposed to be yelling sometimes!
People got so terrible excited when they learns they can votes for me! This guy comed running up to look
at me and then he runned all over the place yelling, "Vote for Shelby! Vote for Shelby!"And this little guy runned so fast you could hardly see him! He comed up to me and says, "Are you THE Shelby!" and before I could say, "Yes, I is!" he was
off running around shouting, "I have seen Shelby! I talked to Shelby!"Blue and Robin was working hard for boys. You see that there brown dog? See how his jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw that it were really me walking behind this parade?!
He said, "I don't know how to vote but I sure as heck am going to learn so I can vote for you Shelby! Can you make them give me more treats?"
I told him. "More treats is what I is going to
see to first when I is bossing people!"He runned off yelling, "Vote for Shelby! Vote for more treats and ice cream!"
This spotted dog walks up to me and says, "If I vote for you Shelby will you make them take this stupid thing off my face?"
I told him, "First thing I is going to do is make dumb people wears them silly leashes and let smart dogs walk around and goes into restaurants and stores that sells good stuff for dogs!"
He said, "I'm voting for you Shelby and I'll beat up anybody who says they won't vote for you too!"
This guy walked up to me and said, "Shelby, there is a very mean cat who lives in my house and you know what?"
I said, "I bet that mean old stinky cat goes to the bathroom in the house and it swats you on your nose when you wasn't doing nothing wrong but smelling it to see if that terrible smell were coming from it!"
He said, That's right! Shelby, you are so smart."
"Of course I is!" I said, "First thing is is going to do when I is Queen is make all them cats get them rubber teeths and rubber claws so that if they swat a good dog it won't even sting. Then I will make them all goes to the bathroom outside!
"Really! I'm voting for you Shelby!" And he 
runned away yelling, "Vote for Shelby! She'll put all them cats where they belong! OUTSIDE!"Oh we walked up and down that campaign trail for a terrible long time. We kept getting everybody to vote for us, just everybody.
It went just like I expected.
I was surprised by one thing. Robin really did his job! That am amazing for a boy. He kept on spreading our message of "Vote for
Shelby!" everywhere he went.And BLUE! Him were so proud to be doing something important! He were really really
trying. He even tried to talk to people! That did not go so good.Blue got this lady to ask me, "Shelby, before I vote for you I need to know what you will do about the economy."
So I used my big brain and said, "Lady, the economy am it a very important subject and what I is going to do is have Blue looks it up and then I will gives you a answer later on!"
She said, "Why that's brilliant Shelby! I am certainly planning to vote for you!"They was just so many questions. Its not everyday people gets to look on a beautiful dog like me and then when they finds out I will lets them talk to me it were just crazy crazy.
I is used to being popular so I has figured out how to handle it and the right way to answer all them dumb questions they has.
Like I told this guy, "First thing I is going to do is make a law that says no stupid scarves on dogs necks!"
And I told this guy "First thing I is going to do is tell them 'all big dogs has to be treated extra nice so that they never gets sad from being picked on!'"I was so popular. Of course.
Soon all them dogs were running all over the place yelling, "Votes for Shelby, Vote for Shelby!"
Oh it were so beautiful hearing all them dogs yelling my beautiful name.
And you knows the very best part of my day on
the campaign trail. We got a terrible terrible amount of money to save them dogs. It were a terrible amount of money. But it weren't enough money to save all of them.The really very first thing I is going to do when I elected your Queen is make it be a law that people can't be mean to no dogs and to other kids.
It should be that way already but I don't think it is.
I has seed an awful lot people being mean. No dog should ever be scared or alone and no kids should be either, not even boy kids.
Everybody should has them enough to eat and a good place to sleep and not be scared of being hit by someobody bigger than them.
I is Shelby and I has approved this message.
Now I needs me a nap!
Posted by Shelby at October 10, 2008 7:25 PM
Comments
Shelby, you stole my idea! I thought, "Only one of us can be in charge!" Then I remembered that I can be the president of the United States and you can be the queen! Hope you're listening! Oh, thanks for putting me on your blog and spreading the word about my campaign. :-)
--Your buddy Jack
Posted by: Jack at October 13, 2008 8:06 PM
Dear Sister Queen Shelby,
Are you paying Blue to be your campaign manager? He needs to be making money so he can come here and we can start our business. He's a hard worker. It looks like you had fun on the campaign trail. Say hi to Robin for me.
Posted by: jimmy at October 14, 2008 12:38 AM