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October 27, 2008
Vote For Shelby or I'll Bite Your Butt!
This am my first press conference. You can ask me any question you want so long as it am one I has writted down for you.Ms Shelby, your opponent has claimed that you want to share the wealth. Do you?
I is a very poor dog. And if anybody has gotted them some extra money they should be sharing it with me. I would say thank you ever so nice.
What do you intend to do about taxes?
I has never been to Texas and I will not go there unless they plays the Trojans or the Buckeyes in a good football game!
They are saying that this is the most negative campaign ever run. You have said that your opponent pals around with cats!
I knows my opponent good. We used to be buddies! I has a history of reaching across the kennel to try and accomplish something for the greater good like
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stealing cookies or having a good fight. My opponent he am him a boy! There am nothing more negative than that! But did you know that he has been seed with cats! We needs to know what he am thinking! Why he am not chasing them cats or even trying to bites them just a little bit on they tails!All I is saying is that we has a right to know more about him and where he stands on the cat problem!
It am the first question I is asked, they says, "Shelby, does your opponent like him some cats!" We deserves to know!
Ms Candidate, their was a press release that said you have spent over $150 dollars on toys! Is this true?
That am not true! I hardly ever plays with them! And if I did get all them toys I would be giving them to other poor dogs to play with when I is finished with them!
This am what am wrong with you reporter guys. You am
talking about toys when they is great problems facing us, like when do I get fed and how many treats does I get today! And whether my opponent hangs him out with cats! Them is what concerns us not how many toys I has or has not got!Someone in your campaign has said that your running mate Robin has gone "rogue" and is not doing what you've told him to do. That he's running his own campaign!
Blue has been telling you stuff! Robin am a good running mate and when he does something stupid, which he am going to do because he am a boy, I has no problem in setting him right. He am the best running mate I could has that I could find in my back yard.
Its been said that you don't have enough experience to run a country. Would you comment on that?
I has had to take care of David for his entire life! Almost all of my life!
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No country can be as stupid as David am! I has lived in a house with FOUR BOYS! I is the best bossy dog in the world. And I still tells the best jokes in the whole world! See there am me telling the joke about why does cats cross the road!.jpg)
Why do cats cross the road?
To hold they pants up! No, I mean to gets away from me cause I is chasing them like a good dog should!
Ms Shelby, if elected have you given any thoughts to who would be in the cabinet?
I would not lock nobody up in no cabinet excepting maybe bad cats. Locking dogs up am bad!
No. Who would your advisors be, your secretary of defense, secretary of the treasury and the Surgeon General?
You should learn to says what you means like I does.
I don't need no advice!
I is already the greatest fighting dog in the world so who could be better than me for Secretary of Defense. I is the greatest doctor dog in the world so I would be the Surgeon General especially if I gets to wear a new medal. I loves me them medals. Since I has them jobs I should get them paychecks too!
Now David has more money than anybody I knows and he am very stingy with it so he can be Secretary of the Money but he don't get no pay!Thank you Ms Candidate. Is there anything you'd like to say in closing?
Yes. I is giving you all a GREAT PRESENT! And I is not even charging you nothing for it! NOTHING. FREE!
You can send people great postcards. Pictures of me! And them other guys. You know them other guys. Robin, Blue and a special Halloween card! Halloween am a great holiday cause you gets CANDY!
Just click these words here and you can go sends a great postcard! It am free and you only needs email addresses. We don't saves them so you just sends them postcards and people will be so happy to get a picture of me!
You has to write you own words. I can't do everything for you.
See, now who am you going to vote for? A beautiful girl who gives you great free stuff or a boy who loves him some cats!
Vote!
I is Shelby and I has approved this message and I is taking a nap!!
Posted by Shelby at October 27, 2008 8:39 PM
Comments
I'm not old enough to vote. I sent my mom a postcard.
Posted by: Damien at October 27, 2008 10:17 PM
I sent a Ben card to everybody in my class. Is that okay?
I think Robin looks funny.
Posted by: Monique at October 28, 2008 12:10 PM
I'm going to be a princess Haloween. What are you going to be?
I liked the postcards. They are good.
Posted by: Purdee at October 29, 2008 10:48 AM
I can't go trick or treating so we're going to watch monster movies. We'll have fun.
I would vote for you Shelby.
Posted by: Wilbur at October 29, 2008 11:52 AM
You are a very funny dog. Kudos.
Posted by: Carl at October 30, 2008 7:23 PM