February 11, 2009
I has got something great to show you!First I is going to make you wait to see this great surprise.
I don't know why but that am what they do on TV so I figures you people must like waiting for great stuff.
I is not saying nothing but that seems pretty stupid to me. I wants great treats right now!
They is plenty of time for other stuff like how all my beautiful snow am running away. (I think Blue has been eating more than his share!)
Here am the big surprise!
Look at that!!!
Does you see what it am?
It am my nieces and my nephews! -->
You can tell how much I has taught them because you see they am not wasting time they is EATING!!
I taught them that. I is just so great!
You all knowed I'd be just a great aunt didn't you. Here are some more beautiful pictures!
Isn't they something?
I will tell you how to tell the boys from the girls.
See, them people hands? That people hands am holding up them boys. You see boys kind of likes to fall over a lot.
See, Robin there am him a boy. Even though Robin am him a boy he still falls over a lot. Especially when I jumps on him!
But see a beautiful girl puppy stands there all beautiful on her ownself.
The smarter girls, like me, makes sure they gets them a treat for standing there all pretty.
In case you still don't get it here am a picture of one of them boys. See how them hands has to hold him up?
That do not mean there am any thing special wrong with him. He am just a boy. That am just the way them boys are.
They am still so cute! Not as cute as me when I was they age. I think even my brother Jimmy was a tiny bit boy cuter. He probably learned that cuteness from me.
They am more stuff to say but I is bored with all this talking. You know I is a dog of action!
I'm going to look at my nieces and nephews then takes me a good nap.
It am hard work training all them puppies. I has earned me a nap!
February 5, 2009
Why is everybody picking on me!Everybody keeps them saying, "Shelby, Shelby! Why aren't you writing anything?"
Cause I am busy! Unlike some boys I is still got Christmas toys I has not broked! And I has to have my naps and they is dogs around my house that needs beating up!
And nobody is paying me!!
I am so poor and nobody am giving me the money they owes me!
Look at this!
There am my old student Jack, and that am the mom and that am Baby Samuel. See how Jack am guarding them real good? You can see that! See how he am looking at Sam and wondering if Sam has got him any cookies to give to a dog who am guarding him real good?
Who do you think taught him to do all that complicated stuff?
It were me! But I keeps checking my bank account and you know who has never ever got paid for teaching Jack all this great stuff?
Nobody ever pays you when you am a poor girl who am too far away to beat you up!
I is filing a complaint. I is not paying no taxes this year cause all you people owes me money!
Look there. That am my brother, Jimmy. Do see what he am wearing? A NEW HAT!! You don't see me wearing no new hat, do you? Cause I is too poor. Now I figure Jimmy owes me a nickel a day just for me letting him tell everybody he am my brother. Wouldn't you pay a nickel to tells everybody I was your sister?
You is probably thinking, "Shelby, it would be worth two nickels just to let people know you are my friend! If we were family I can't imagine how much that would be worth!"
That am a good think you got there.
You know who owes me the most money?
He owes me for being his lawyer and for giving him great fighting lessons and for all the bets he loses to me! If he paid me what he owes me I bet I would only be kind of poor!
Blue has goned out to get him a job! He says it will be good training for when he goes to see my brother Jimmy. He thinks that they is going to start them a business! Can you imagine what kind of people would want to do business with two boys?
It scares me!
I told Blue he could write to Jimmy here and show Jimmy how much business he is learning. Blue told me he were going to write this great book and then people would all learn something smart from him and learn that boys are almost as smart as us girls!
I don't really think boys can learn anything except how not to pay me!
Blue has writ this story up all by hisself.
I weren't going to help him unless he paid me!
It am not too bad, not too bad. It am too good for a boy to has done all by himself!
I think his mom helped him. Blue can't take no good pictures that am for sure.
There am Blue standing next to me trying to look like he am a great story telling writing dog.
He am not!
Aren't I just the cutest thing?
Hey, does you see how Baby Sam am nearly as cute as me?
Of course he am not so talented as me. It am a good thing he knows me so I can teach him some good stuff! One good thing Sam already does know is don't owe me no money.
I am going to start me a new business too. I is going into the collecting me all the money that am owed me business!
Here am Blue's story. It don't have me in it so you might want to skip it.