November 28, 2009
I has got to interrupt this great adventure to tell you something really really important and really really greatI hopes you all had you a good "Thanks For All I Can Eats Day." I hopes you all had all you can eats. I didn't. I never does. You can feel sorry for me for a minute. "Poor Shelby. She is the greatest eating dog that ever lived but mean old David is trying to starve her!"
Okay. You can stop feeling sorry for me.
I has got something that am really important. You know that "Happy All You Can Eats Day" is also the first day of "You Gotta Be Good Month!" A whole month when you has to be good.
Having to be good am very terrible.
But what can you do? I can tell you if you be bad you won't get nothing for Christmas and that am the worst kind of terrible. We all needs our Christmas loot let me tell you!
You am probably thinking to youself, "Boy, I sure wish I knew who keeps track of whether I'm good or bad. If that guy was my friend I bet I'd get tons of Christmas presents!"
I is thinking you am probably right which am why I is laughing cause I has got me a brand new best friend!
That am true. Santa Claus am my best friend.
They was some things that bothered me. You may not has noticed because you am not so smart like me. But if you looks you will see what I is talking about.
Does you see it?
Some of you am smart girls so I know you has seed it but for the boys I will tell you: Santa Claus am her a BOY!!
Once I saw a lady with a beard in a movie on TV so I was not too sure but I is now. Santa am him a boy!
I knowed it were Santa for real cause he spoke pretty good doggish. I said to him, "You am not Santa! Everybody knows that Santa am smart and generous and you am a BOY!"
Santa, him just said, "Ho ho ho!" That am the kind of answer boys says when you asks them a good question so I knowed it were true.
It am very hard to believe but there you have. Santa am not her a girl but her am a boy.
"Ho ho ho, I know you've been a very good girl, Shelby. What would you like for Christmas this year?" Santa said.
Now here am why I am a super genius. I knows boys. I also had me a list of stuff I need that am about 3 days long! Like I says, I knows boys and I know no boy, not even Santa could remember a list like mine. So I thinks super fast and I says, "Santa I is such a poor girl dog. I wants all my friends to be happy and they can only be happy when they am seeing me. So there am only one thing that I really needs and that am a helicopter!!"
Santa, him said, "HO HO HO Shelby!" which I pretty sure am boy talk for "Don't you worry Shelby, that helicopter will be waiting for you Christmas morning!"
If I were a bad girl, which I am not, I might say, "It had better be cause you may be Santa but you still has you a butt!" Since I is a good girl I just says, "thank you!"
I hopes you has luck in being good. It am very important.
Does you notice I is not hoping you be bad cause if you am bad than Santa won't has to bring you no presents so he will have more space to haul all my loot!
You notices I is not wishing that cause I is such a good girl!
And beautiful too!