The Northern girls with the way they kiss they keep their boyfriends warm at night Brian Wilson


Click images for desktop size: “Kabegami” by cos2l

I’m a shallow guy
I always have been. I think that people judge me mostly on my appearance. As I get older, gnarled and weather beaten, that’s a bit hard for me to take.
People have always said to me, “You don’t judge other people that way, why keep holding yourself to a different standard?”
Because I’m me, I guess.
Attack Of The Jungle Women It also impacts the way I keep this web site. I tend to be fastidious and work to get it the way I want it to look and work. Subtle color variations, scripting and stuff.
I’ve gotten pretty good at html and css trying to get it to look right. At least write to me. I’ve even had to learn perl, for no other reason than to keep this looking nice and to keep my puppy’s website easy for kids to use.
I had to work hard to get the search page to work. Its still not what I want. What I want is to click on search and have a translucent window open up where you type in your stuff and then it takes you to the result page and simply vanishes.
I have to learn AJAX for that . . .
I spent a couple of hours, last night, getting the whole site xhtml compliant. That means it should look the same in all browsers. Even though Microsoft continues to disdain all standards and demands that anything they do should become the de facto standard, it should get it close even in Internet Explorer.
I guess I did some of that to avoid thinking about the damage I’ve done to my body lately. It’s all the grief with the drugs and prescriptions.
his shouldn’t be that big a deal, but it is.
The problem is with the simple minded diabetic meds. Nothing fancy there, no trials or even a chance at narcotics. Just laws and customs designed to benefit . . . well, not me or many other patients for sure. Planning to sort it out today.
All of which comes back to this site. As in why did I decide to keep a journal in the first place and why continue it for so long? Why keep it public?

Click images for desktop size: “Marbles”
Most of this I’ve thought about, written about before. Reviewing the days keeps me focused on what I am and what I want to be. Keeping it public is, ostensibly, to let all those people I know and care about but have lost, have a place to find me. To share pretty pictures.
I’m a public person. Shallow and public . . . When we moved here the most exciting thing was prepping an act for my friends Christmas party . . . in my mind I was even thinking of tunes where I could do an alternate tuning on the guitar so I could get around the fret board and hide how worthless my hands and fingers had become.
Part of it is I like the attention. Okay?
Not to the point of using DIGG or wanting to smash the look of the site with a sidebar advertising and begging for attention, but to the point of doing a Thalberg, “If its any good they’ll know who made it.”
Carnival Of Souls There’s more to it than that but for now, that’s enough.

This is a great time of the year: The Bowl Season is in full swing.
I was glad to see Purdue and Central Michigan play so well in a “minor” bowl.
I was embarrassed to see Arizona State let down the Pac 10 and play so poorly against Texas last night.
That’s okay, they tried, which is more than can be said for all the NFL teams this weekend.
The final week of the regular season is historically a mess. There are flashes of interest but mainly Play Off Bound teams rest their regulars. Teams knocked out of it play lackluster ball or play over their heads to be a spoiler. Some teams choke.
Last week I was 9-7. Pretty mediocre. I should have been 10-6 but I ticked the wrong box at the website! Second time this season.
That leaves me 15 points out of first place . . . and yet I slog on.
My picks are in bold.

New England at New York Giants – The most interesting thing here is whether the Giants will concede the Patriots their perfect season or if they’ll put up any resistance at all. The excuse is resting starters for the Play Offs. Coolest thing is that the NFL backed off of their pay per view scheme under threat of losing their anti-trust exemptions. Game of the week because this will be historic whatever happens.

Buffalo at Philadelphia – This is an oddity. The Eagles are playing better ball since their season is meaningless. Buffalo is choking, which is sad. I have to pick the Eagles but my heart is with the Bills.

Click images for desktop size: “Movies”

Carolina at Tampa Bay – The Buc’s embarrassed themselves last week. They may rest people. The Panther’s have Steve Smith . . . This could be a real snoozer with names you never heard of in key positions. The Panthers are finishing the string.

Cincinnati at Miami – The Bengals upset Cleveland last week with Defense?? The Dolphins are now under the tutelage of the most over rated coach in history – Bill Parcells. They’ll lose one for the kipper.

Detroit at Green Bay – After last weeks debacle Brett Favre is worried. He should be. He’s also a great one at redeeming himself. Look for the Lions, depressed but game, to pay the price. I’m pretty sure the Packers will come out blazing to set the tone for the Play Offs.

Jacksonville at Houston – Its pathetic that the Jaguars enter the play offs as a wild card team. They are potent and dangerous. Look for them to make a statement in this one. Also they’ll experiment and force some issues to test their personnel. Houston, you did better than I thought.
Confessions Of A Vice Baron
New Orleans at Chicago – I like the Saints but this is not to be. The Bears have gotten mean, now that it doesn’t mean anything. They’re good as spoilers. They seem to like it more than being Champs! The game means more to them then it does to the disappointed, dispirited Saints.

Pittsburgh at Baltimore – Here’s a mash up of a game. The Steelers are coasting and playing lousy football. They’ll have no offense that can be imagined. The Ravens have looked great and then distasteful, often in the same series! I’m taking the Ravens because the Steelers have noting to win. The Ravens will take pride in beating a play off team.

Seattle at Atlanta – This is my cruddy game of the week. Worse it will be on TV tomorrow . . . The Seahawks are the second weakest team in the play offs. They’re still trying to fine tune a rickety offense. Atlanta is just glad the season is over. The Falcons may get motivated but I wouldn’t count on it.

San Francisco at Cleveland – Now that the Browns have lost their chance to be Division Champs this game should prove easy for them. The 49ers have more to play for but the Browns don’t want to go into the play offs on a, not with their team history.

Tennessee at Indianapolis – The hardest game to call. This could be the most fun. Neither team can actually win much here so it could be just a good joyous game or one coach or the other could decide to start resting players. I’m going with the Colts but if there were more on the line for the Titans I’d take them.

Minnesota at Denver – This would be a snoozer except Adrian Peterson needs a confidence booster to head in to the Wild Card Round. Nobody is better prepared to give it to him then the Broncos. If the Vikings don’t spring Peterson for big yards this will say a lot about what to expect next week.

My Love Is Like A Red Red Rose

Click images for desktop size: “My Love Is Like A Red Red Rose – R Browning”
San Diego at Oakland – I pity the Raiders, and they’re sending out a very green rookie to start his first game against a team that needs a confidence boost. Rah.

St Louis at Arizona – This would be the cruddy game of the week except both teams have spark enough to make something happen. I hope that the Cardinals defense gets a handle on Steve Jackson otherwise it will go the other way.

Dallas at Washington – The Cowboys will be resting EVERYBODY who matters. The starters will treat it like a scrimmage most likely. The Redskins are playing for their jobs next year in front of an angry home town crowd. Which is why I’m picking them for the upset.

Kansas City at New York Jets – This is a real stink pot of a game to end the regular season . . . I’m taking the Jets because the coin came up tails.

These picks are for your great amusement only. They are not to be taken as even knuckle headed advice!

Boxing Day

Desert By Alex Chaquitas
Click images for desktop size: “Desert – New Mexico” by Alex Chaquitas
In England, every year there was a newspaper debate about the name Boxing Day.
The Sun would say that is was named because it was the day that all the gifts and decorations were boxed up.
The Times would refute it with their own not very interesting genesis of the name.
Vice Raid 1959 I think the only important thing is that its an extra day off of work.
I only wish that the irritating pain would take a holiday.

I got a very cool Christmas Present.
Best Friends are a Charity rescuing abused or just lost animals. You can adopt an animal online. They have dogs, cockatiels, horses . . . even cats . . . Its a touching gift. I worry about animals. Mainly dogs and rabbits. But I worry and having one less to worry about pleases me.
There’s a film that I don’t much like, because it is not very good. It is either invidious, naive or inept.
“Year Of The Dog” stars one of those new age Saturday Night Live women. She looks very haggard.
The story is that she has a wonderful little dog who dies suddenly. And her whole world collapses. Then she collapses in a very bitter way.
She’s abandoned by family and friends because she starts a new heartfelt love for animals. The only friend she makes out of all this is a namby pamby self serving intensely sincere hypocrite. Then she starts to steal from her company to fund Animal Rescue Centers, like Best Friends. She adopts an aggressive dog she can’t control and then, through a tragic turn, about 20 other dogs.
When she finds out that her beloved dog died because he had entered her neighbors garage and eaten snail poison she flips out and, unfairly blames her neighbor. She even attempts to kill him.
Eagle's Daughter
Click images for desktop size: “Eagle’s Daughter – Sculpture” by Unknown
This extreme act gains her the pity of her co-workers, family and friends. She turns her back on them to crusade for animal rights.
Now my biggest problem with the film is that it depicts almost anyone who loves animals as having some serious sociopathic issues. Like only someone who can’t connect with human beings could give a damn about an animal.
In fact it goes out of its way to depict a hunter, who gives an long ineloquent soliloquy about hunting, as the most rational person in the movie.
As the leads compassion grows instead of presenting her commitment to another species as humorous and courageous it shows it as the cause and effect of a deranged mind.
That’s kind of stupid if you ask me.
You can only quote Steve McQueen, “You never had a dog, mister.”

Alien So recovering from Christmas is not as much fun as preparing for Christmas.
I’m tired. I ate too much. I laughed too much.
I loved my dogs not enough.
Now getting prepared for my friend to take a big trip. SHe has to do a months training in a town about two hours from here.
They pick up the tab. Still, even with all my fuzzy friends it will be lonely.
Strange. I’m alone most of my adult life but it will be lonely. Not in a bad way but only becasue I’m “wise and mature”.
Of course she says, “He lives in the past, tolerates the present and forgives a future he deson’t believe exists.”
That doesn’t really contradict much that other people have said about me . . .

And so it was

Stranded by Richard Mohler
Click images for desktop size: “Stranded” by Richard Mohler
It was a good Christmas.
We went out just before midnight. Ben, the little blind dog, my puppy, and me. We walked for about 40 minutes in the nice cold air.
We looked at lights and met two people. Its a pretty small town.
When Worlds Collide One was a gawky teen. He wasn’t dressed warmly enough, but he was dressed well. He looked like he’d just lost his girlfriend. He mumbled a reply to our Merry Christmas and Ben barked at him.
The other fellow we met was in shirt sleeves and hopping in his car. We Merry Christmased him and he looked startled and sort of waved back.
Its not that small a town.
When we got home all the dogs had their doggie style bread pudding. They wanted more.
Opening of presents was exciting for the puppies. Their eyes bugged out of their heads so far they looked more like some amphibian than dogs.
They killed all the toys post haste and clamoured for more treats.
It was good and felt like all Christmases should. Better than many a Christmas I’ve had.
Until my friend’s mother called. Her mother told her that the person who had hurt her most in this world was coming over for Christmas.
In my usual heavy fisted way I thought the only way to handle things was through confrontation.
I don’t always know what’s right for others. Only what’s right for me. And that’s what I would have done. I wouldn’t let people keep wounding me.
Until little Ben started to hack and tremble. I held him for about an hour and willed death away from him. I kept massaging him and heimliching him and just doing whatever I could.
We thought about calling the vet but knew that their solution would be to put him down. He’s blind and has allergies. He looks bad but he still enjoys life. He really does.
It was a hard decision, so it seemed best to just keep ministering to him.
Tiger Or Snake
Click images for desktop size: “Tiger Or Snake” by Evegny
With far less drama he just recovered. Hopped/fell off my lap, as is his custom, and everything was, tense, but fine.
He demanded some treats and went about his live, his nerves less frayed then ours.
We watched “The Bucket List”. It was okay with one superb line, “The last 3 months of his life were the best of mine.” It felt awfully contrived. Two good actors couldn’t quite pull off that stunt; to make it feel natural and flowing.
Then I watched “Body And Soul”, the stunning John Garfield boxing movie. That might seem an off choice for Christmas but I find the movies message of hope, self reliance and love completely apropos.
Finally we watched Judy Holiday’s “Born Yesterday”. She makes me laugh.
Earth vs The Flying Saucers Some where in there I had my traditional Christmas dinner. A 99 cent frozen thing.
It started in Texas when I shared it with my dog Ethel. It was a belak time and that dinner, that I couldn’t afford, seemed magical and wonderful.
After Ethel died it was a way to stay connected to the dog who chose me.
As my puppy and I shared it, it felt different this year.
I still haven’t sorted out the feelings. It reminded me deeply of that wonderful dog, but made me more keenly aware of the dogs here who love me, near as much as I love them.
I have to think about this more.
So Christmas isn’t over yet!
Its felt good and celebatory. Not raucously so. I haven’t been raucously so for a long time.

One thing I did was near completion of transfering the site to Movable Type.
Its nearly completed.
A lot of the chores were difficult. Getting the search function working was the hardest thing.
The most tedious part was correcting the errors caused by the export/import process.
I had to re-read a lot of my life in a very jumbled order.
That was okay.
I saw a lot of things I didn’t like. That’s okay too.

Merry Christmas

Louiville KY
Click images for desktop size: “Louisville Kentucky”
This is the one time of the year when you’re allowed to be sappy.
Even the hard guys are allowed to simper in their boiler makers and remember mom and the smell of nutmeg and cinnamon wafting from the kitchen, even if, especially if the kitchen never existed.
The living dead girls have to attitude twice as hard to prove themselves.
Superman Remember Washington crossed the Delaware on Christmas Eve. He won his biggest battle by risking serenity to win freedom cause he knew what we all know: You can be broke, abused and downhearted and Christmas isn’t a cure for that, but its the time when miracles might happen. Might happen is enough.
My last story from Christmas past,
One summer I decided to work as a cowboy at a big ranch in Northern Montana, by the Blue Berry Mountains. Only because I always wanted to be a cowboy and just imagining being something was never enough for me.
They invited me back to have Christmas with them. I went.
The snow had drifted about 12 feet in spots. You drove through tunnels of snow. It was spectral. It was beautiful.
Christmas Eve I went with them to a Mennonite service. It was austere and moving in its way.
When we got back to the ranch I decided to take a ride. Everyone seemed to understand that. There was plenty of moonlight and the stars seemed close enough to the ground that you’d have to swat them away from your head like pesky flies.
The horse, a plug nosed roan plowed happily through the snow. It wanted the exercise.
Click images for desktop size: “Christmas Card – 2006”
We were in a paddock about 2 miles from the ranch house, admiring the endless sky, the hard line between heaven and earth and the silvery TV like glimmer of the snow, when I heard a calf bawling.
It was trapped in a gully filled with snow. The mother was bawling back at it but she wasn’t quite foolish enough to go in after it.
I got off the horse with a rope, wondering why the two of them were this far from where the cowboys had spread the hay. I dropped a rope on the calf and it thrashed about and managed to pull me into the little gully along with it.
It felt like I was going to drown in snow.
I struggled a little. Then relaxed humming Silent Night, I started to swim the snow until I got to a purchase and managed to pull myself to firmer snow . . .
DisneyComicI was sweating which meant I was going to get really cold soon. I crawled up the little slick snow hill and trailed the rope to its length. I got the horse over and we managed to pull the calf free.
When I was slipping the rope off its neck the mother cow tried to gore me . . . Last I saw of them was their tails swishing as they jogged away into the darkness.
I got back to the ranch house. The sweat had started to freeze up on me. The Ranch mom had waited up for me, keeping a hot cup of cocoa brewing.
I put the horse in the corral, tended to it, and was relieved and grateful for the warmth inside the house.
I drank the cocoa while she asked me what had happened.
I told her I dug a calf out of a gully, with no more elaboration.
“Silly beasts. Don’t let that keep you from having a Merry Christmas.”
The next day they gave me an expensive Black Stetson hat.
It was a good Christmas.
So I wish the same to all of you, my friends, the curious, the strangers:
Merry Christmas.

Everybody deserves

Merry Christmas
Click images for desktop size: “Merry Christmas”
I know a guy.
He was the sort of guy who shaves everyday with a straight razor.
He told me that, for two years he started each day staring in the mirror, waiting for the soap to soften his beard, He ran a little mantra over and over in his head: “I hate my life and I hate my wife.”
For two years . . .
He called me Christmas Eve 1986. He said he was out getting the final touches for Christmas and he couldn’t face the idea of going home again.
Elvis Presley GI Blues I don’t know why he called me. I listened and said what you’d be expected to say to a crying man on Christmas Eve.
He didn’t go home.
I saw him again.
Boxing Day 1996, in the Cologne Valley. We were at an American Football Tournament.
He recognized me. I wouldn’t have known him. He’d put on 30 pounds and had a scraggly beard.
The wife he left was a blonde with perfectly manufactured breasts and blonde hair that seemed to be made of rayon. She was 28 but to me she looked like she was 42 trying to look 22.
We get a lot like that in LA. I think its the sun and the fear and the worlds most physically attractive flocking in every day.
Anyway, he introduced me to his new wife. She was polynesian and had one of those names out of a boggle box, “Just call me Wren.”
Wren was about 5’2″ and weighed about 200 pounds. She looked solid as a nose tackle. She made me laugh.
This guy didn’t ask me about my life. He still had a lot of the straight razor shaver in him. He told me how happy he was now.
He did look happier.
He said he’d be in touch. But I never heard from him. I didn’t expect to.
We were different people.
All we had left in common between us was a Christmas from a period both if us wanted to forget.

The year before the black Christmas my friend and hair stylist played Power Golf. For the last time my little family had done Christmas morning and they’d gone back to bed. So I did a Christmas Morning Surf Trek. It was a sloppy day. Three foot and choppy, but it still felt good to hit the waves. It made for a cool Yulesville.

Christmas Card
Click images for desktop size: “Christmas Card -2006”
After that I met my buddy at the golf course. We were insane, you see.
Its kind of funny we were even friends. He used to run with the Billionaire Boys Club crowd and I, I was just a surfer. We were friends though.
We were well known for our slogan, “we wish of all of our friends success. (a beat) So they won’t borrow money from us.
Its not as cynical as it first seems, the assumption should be that we’d loan you the money.
Anyway we needed to play golf for business. We liked the game but found it slow so we invented our own rules.
Basically you carried your clubs on your back and ran to the ball after each stroke. There were penalties for being the last to sink your putt.
Harvey Giels (Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas) We made quite a sight I’d guess, on a sunny Christmas day, running all over the green fairways stopping just long enough to smash the ball and then pursuing it again.
That was the day my buddy asked me to be the best man at his wedding.

I gave my puppy a bath today.
She hates baths. She’s always so good but she still lets you know how she feels.
I like that and everything else about her.

This doesn’t have anything to do with the holiday.
I’m very happy with the new host. For one thing everything works. I did discover something alarming.
25,000 times a day various websites (mainly myspace and hi5) were hot linking to the images here. In the 6 days we’ve been on the new site we’ve used nearly 3 gig of bandwidth with a third of that going to people hot linking to here. I had to stop it because some of the sites I found to be alarming and I really don’t want anyone to think I approved.
Some of the sites were just dead.
I put up an error message, if they bother to look, so that when the image comes back as forbidden, they can see instructions on how to put the picture up on there site without forcing me to pay for extra bandwidth.
It seems petty of me but . . .

I have no religion. Celebrating Christmas; this time of year seems made for looking backHenry Koster

Christmas Wish 2003

Click images for desktop size: “Christmas Wish – Christmas Card 2003”
The first Christmas I remember: My mother and me. I woke up and under the tree on the kitchen table were five Mad Magazine paperback books and a magic set that had this horrid orange and blue doll made of hard plastic.
The doll came with a scimitar. Thanks to some whirligig secret gears and meshes you could pass the scimitar through the doll and the doll never fell in two.
A Christmas Carol Its the earliest Christmas I remember.
Its my best Christmas as a child that I remember.
I remember the stages of my life through Christmases. More than birthdays, I remember Christmas.
Some of the memories are movies or TV, some of its family but mostly its the people.
I remember being 7 and the crazy woman who lived in the crazy house with all the garbage n her front lawn. She yelled at us constantly because we were little hoodlums. If a ball went into her backyard it was gone forever. She was always going to call the police on us. I don’t think she ever did.
At Christmas she would dress up and sit on her front porch. By dressing up I mean that most of the time she wore a bath robe, or if out and about slacks and a T-Shirt. She was always alone. But around Christmas she would wear a worn red velvet dress and a green knit shawl, with an enamel broach of a Christmas tree.
She sat on her porch and when she saw us she would call us over. First time I saw her up close I was shocked that she wasn’t 120 years old. She was probably in her late 30’s. Its hard for a kid to judge an adults age and memory is always either too kind or too harsh.
She gave each of the kids a paper plate. Covered in plastic wrap was a hunk of green lime jello. Suspended in the jello were pieces of shredded cabbage and carrot.
I have no idea what the significance of it was, what it had to do with Christmas. Other than the fact that every Christmas Eve she would be out there making us take that lime green jello.
I only ate it once, the first time. It was terrible.
Christ Is Born 2005

Click images for desktop size: “Christ Is Born – Christmas Card 2005”
She used to tell us that Santa came to Southern California on rain drops because there wasn’t any snow.
I think she meant it to be consoling but it confused me then and confused me now.
She last told me that when I was 13 and I didn’t believe in Santa Claus anymore. I didn’t correct her.
Shortly after that Christmas and ambulance came to her house. She never came back and the trash and the garbage in her yard corroded and rusted.
Never thought about her much except for missing her at Christmas.
I’ve had some black Christmases and some of them that could only be happy.
I used to love out annual big Christmas Party. A couple hundred people and all the musicians making music. We taped it all and would play the tapes from last year until someone picked up a guitar and started to make new music this year.
Spaceman Discovers Christmas It was a wonderful fun that just grew and grew. Every year my wife and I were stunned at how each party got bigger and better with no more effort from us. People we didn’t know would show up and play. They’d tell us how they’d been wanting to come for years and were so glad they finally got to be here.
We felt good because we had so many loving friends and we had made them feel like a part of ourselves.
Then there weren’t anymore parties.
There were the Christmases with the dogs.
There was little Ethel, the dog who followed me home from the day labor joint.
I’d gotten a job to start in the New Year and we sat in my crummy one room and ate a 79 cent frozen Turkey dinner and laughed and she did tricks for me she hadn’t done before.
Because of her and because of hope it was one of the best Christmases of my new life.
Then there was the first Christmas with my puppy. Her first Christmas. I didn’t have much for her but her aunt and my friend sent us packages that filled the house with Christmas joy. They sent decorations and presents and our house was filled with as much rapture as a Dickensian Christmas dream.
My little puppy taught me to remember the joy and excitement and the peace that the season brings. Her friends reminded me that innocence, kindness, hope and love will always exist. Even if it comes on a paper plate of lime jello.
This is an unhidden Silly Song Silent Night by Eddie Bond and Dinky Duck. Its pretty stupid which means I like it plenty. It helps if you remember who Dinky Duck is.

They’re up here because they believe Vince Lombardi

A Christmas Carol - 2004

Click images for desktop size: “A Christmas Carol – Christmas Card 2004”
We went for a walk today.
Strike that.
We started out for a walk today when the largest dog managed to escape out the gate.
He refused to come when called so I had to chase him, except I still had my puppy and the little blind dog with me. All 3 of us ran after the big dog. We were game but the little one wore out. I had to scoop him up and carry him.
Bambi 1942 We had a bout a 10 minute chase with a couple of close calls but no damage done except to my temper. Until we got home and I realized that making the little blind boy run, even for only 50 yards was too tough on his cardio. He recovered but it was nerve racking for a while there. None of which improved my temper with the big guy. I got even though. I gave the big guy 5 grams less ice cream then everyone else got tonight!
We all have our own forms of discipline.

One of the purposes for the walk, other than health . . . was to ponder this weeks NFL games in the weekend of the “Silent Night”. Most of the games are, well, dogs! It makes them harder to pick as fewer teams have any reason to try. Its the holidays for them too and no matter how professional an athlete is its unique for a man to go out and want to destroy his brother in this time of peace when there is nothing to be gained for it but some weak pride.
I think they’ll all play to their abilities, for the most part, but there’ll be a fine edge that’s lacking which makes thing unpredictable. Then there’ll be some rookies getting some major game time and they’ll either collapse or explode with heart and enthusiasm. I think that this week is mainly guesswork and tossing a two headed coin.
As usual my picks are in bold.

Pittsburgh at St Louis – This ones already played. The Steelers won. I picked them but it was with no heart. The Steelers are not very good and I’d expect them not to go deep in the playoffs.

Dallas at Carolina – This is good medicine for the Cowboys who are not looking all that dominant at the moment. The Panthers are feeling a bit confident after their upset win last week but they don’t match up well enough against Dallas to have much of a chance. The score is Cowboys up 17-10 as I write this. This says more about the Cowboys in the playoffs then anything else.
Silver Bell 2006

Click images for desktop size: “Silver Bell – Christmas Card 2006”
Cleveland at Cincinnati – My heart ays pick the Bengals. My heart starves a lot. I’d like to see them get it together and stick it to the Browns but its the equation. The Browns are chasing the Steelers for the Division Championship. They’re not used to winning. The Bengals have nothing to win or lose except pride. A lot of their players have enough pride and talent to carry them but the attitude is hard to guess. Remember a few years ago when Chad Johnson scored a TD in week 16? He scored and ran to a pylon where he had a giant Christmas Stocking stashed, he opened it and started throwing gifts to the fans. I liked that a lot. They got to the play offs that year too . . .

Green Bay at Chicago – Last week the Bears were almost as embarrassing as the Vikings. They looked terrible, the Vikings only slightly less terrible. Bret Favre is still Bret Favre and want the home field advantage. He’s been there before and looks like a team of destiny. The Bears look like a team trying to remember how to play the game.
Houston at Indianapolis – This is one of those games where, if your a home town fan you might care. There’s almost nothing of real interest here except wondering how the Colts will handle Mario Williams.

Kansas City at Detroit – There’s a tremendous sadness in this game. Two teams who back in August looked at the world with bright eyes and expectant determination. The Lions looked ready to exorcise their demons. The Chiefs looked like well, they wee hopeful. This is one of the least important games of the weekend and its sad that it should be so.

New York Giants at Buffalo – The Giants look like a team willing to stumble into the playoffs expending minimal effort. The Bills aren’t quite out of it but are playing for something, like a dying city and a teammate who most thought, a few months ago, might be better off dead. The Giants are a slight favorite! Go Bills.

Oakland at Jacksonville – The only question I see here is whether the Jaguars can keep the score down. They have fire in their eyes and are not foolish enough to let that fire get away from them. The Raiders still have those snazzy uniforms.

Pattern Of Presents

Click images for desktop size: “Pattern Of Present ” by Unknown
Philadelphia at New Orleans – This is actually the game of the week. Sort of by default. As in most of the other games are sort of cruddy. Both teams have a little to play for. The Saints aren’t eliminated form the play offs . . . yet. The Eagles want to put together back to back strong games for contract time. I’m taking the Saints because of Dru Brees and home field.

Tampa Bay at San Francisco – At first blush a cruddy game of the week contender. But Frank Gore looked good for the 49ers last week. And, like it or not, the Buc’s are division champions. I don’t think Gore can repeat his performance against this defense, without him the 49er’s don’t have much.

Atlanta at Arizona – Here is the cruddy game of the week . . . well, both teams will show up and they both have well tailored uniforms . . . the Falcons’ gear is a bit prettier in my opinion. The Cardinals stuff seems to actually wrinkle and bunch up a lot . . .
Beatles Come To Town
Baltimore at Seattle – The Ravens beautiful performance against the Patriots was sure a one off. Seattle are trying to figure out how to win with less of a running game than even the Packers! And Hasslebeck is no Bret Favre! Still at home the Seahawks should win.

New York Jets at Tennessee – The Titans are struggling for a play off shot. They deserve it even with some bone head coaching they’ve shown fire and grit. The Jets have shown they are core losers. I’m only glad Eric Maginini doesn’t own Wilson (so he can’t take the ball and run home.)

Miami at New England – Now that the Dolphins actually won a game the glitter is off of this one. The weather will be poor but not so bad that Tom Brady can’t get back to throwing a few TD’s. I don’t see anyone on the Dolphins who can stop him so they must be praying for a freak blizzard.

Denver at San Diego – So the Chargers managed to stick one last week. They have already won my award for most disappointing team this season, even more disappointing than the Bears! (I mean who really thought the Bears would repeat this year with all their off season insane arrogant moves). he Broncos are in a tail spin but might find the weather nice enough to put forth a little effort.

Washington at Minnesota – My runner up game of the week. Two teams who (to the NFC’s embarrassment) are in the wild card chase. The Redskins looked bad last week. The Vikings looked abominable except for Adrian Peterson. I’ll go with a guy who can turn a busted play into a TD any time.

As usual my picks are for entertainment purposes only. Although if you die laughing I will not be held responsible.

And if you hadn’t noticed: Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings, Happy Kwanzaa. And Peace on Earth, please.

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Santa's Workshop
Click images for desktop size: “Santa’s Workshop – Christmas Card 2005”
And suddenly everything is beginning to look alright.
Its not quite “Twas The Night Before Christmas” but its getting there and it feels enough like it to not matter.
Woody Woodpecker And isn’t that a part, a small part, of Christmas? That the grief and hatred and rage of the world can be overwhelmed?
My friend got her dream job.
Her pay cut will be more than I grossed last year . . . but its still her dream job. Doing something you believe in, using your skills to achieve a dream you’ve had, a dream that’s just not in her world but in all of ours.
Its the sort of dream that I wanted my kids to strive for. And she got it.

The new host is turning out to be pretty impressive. I’m not sure if that’s because the old host was disintegrating so badly that I’ve lost perspective or if Blue Host is really that good.
At dot5 the mysql server was dying so every time you did something that touched it the database would just corrupt all the more. Trust me; a busted database is something you just do not want.
They helped me fix it. I never expected that.
I still can’t run Movable Type 4.1 beta. And you know how it gnaws at me to not be running all the alpha and beta software that I can . . .
It will get fixed and I’ll have it sorted out soon enough. Yup.
Its that kind of day.
Everything seems possible.
Its coming up Christmas.
Napping By The Fire - 2004
Click images for desktop size: “Napping By The Fire – Christmas Card 2004”
There are parts of myself I don’t like.
I am conceited so that might surprise you.
Parts of me I don’t like!
But its so.
During this mini-crisis I was afraid of it.
I’d figure some of you have seen it.
I’m not every in touch with my human side (lets not even waster time talking about feminine side!).
It manifests itself when things get bad. I start to lock down and prepare to do nothing else except endure.
I disconnect from physical and emotional sensations. I go off of pure intellect and rage.
Its my survival mode.
It doesn’t make it pleasant to be around me.
Wizard Of OzI’m into the mode so it doesn’t impact me much at all except for hating the lack of feelings, while thinking this is the only way to make it through.
Through all of this recent spate I’ve noticed that I didn’t fall into that mode automatically. For me that’s a big step; not just waking up and being in that monstrous mode.
And then I never really fell into it. Yeah, I had to fight it some, but not enough to want a cashiers check for.
I think its my puppy. She has demands and some needs. She keeps me sane.
I think its my friends. They need caring for to struggle on too.
Its probably a combination of all of these things and a lot of things I don’t even know exist.

The Pittsburgh – St Louis game is on TV. I picked the Steelers although I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Rams beat them.

If you can hear this

Merry Christmas If you’re reading this it means that you’re at the new hosting site and your name servers have migrated!
I was looking at the old traffic meter I kept and it’s apparent that the old host had been dying for months and months.
Here everything just feels zippy!
I’m glad you found us again . . .
Comic Cavalcade Today was just a day of waiting. Me: I waited for the old Registrar to release the domain name. My friend had a bit more difficult time. She was waiting for her dream job to call.
No real reason to expect them to, except that each of her references would call her after they spoke to her dream job and they indicated they would probably make a job offer today.
No phone call.
She (and I for that matter) would be disappointed but would accept not hearing from them. I still stir up a lot of anger towards her jerk ex-employers. I have nothing but bad feelings towards them and it codifies all the bad I had felt about them previously only in a more grotesque gargantuan form.
There’s still tomorrow.

It was warmer today, which was justification to not finish all the snow shovelling . . . it justified it to me anyway.
My back is feeling about 90% right now but my right shoulder is cramping up.
We went for a walk, the blind puppy, my puppy and I. They rejoiced in the warmer weather and the sight of kids having snow ball fights and sliding around in the slush.
It felt like Christmas was really almost here.

Its time we said goodbye

Wild About Christmas
Click images for desktop size: “Wild About Christmas – Christmas Card 2005”

This will be my last post on Dot5hosting.
I’m not thrilled about that but it was becoming impossible. It took three hours of holding and 9 hours of waiting for “Live Chat” to find out how to transfer my domain . . . and they lied to me the first time . . . Its sorted now.
It Happened One Night I’ll be putting through the name change as soon as I finish here. They say it will take 24-48 hours to “propogate” and then, like magic, you’ll be at the new host.
It should be invisible to everyone out there.
Its 9 bucks a month with the new hosting service until I decide I’m staying with it. I can’t affordd it but the kids reading my puppy’s site are worth more than that.
It will warm me on Christmas, for sure.

If I needed affirmation that it was time to move I got it. The server is down . . . at least it gave me the time to add on this little lobby card . . .

This is fascinating. Tucows, who I always thought of as an online software reseller, are the Registrars of my domain name. They are as bad as dot5hosting! My domain isn’t being released to point to the new server. No reason, just apathy, I guess. It’s not moving . . . Law says they have 7 BUSINESS days to release it . . . it is usually done on an automated system but Tucows likes to hold on to them . . . I can imagine some ugly fiscal reasons for this, but I suspect its really just not caring.