They say the worst bad habit we have is memory

Untitled

Click images for desktop size: “Untitled” by Unknown
I’m getting a lot of mail and questions. Some from strangers, some from people that I love. “You dead?” to “Did you give up blogging?”The Dunwich Horror
No.
I’m just tired. Hard tired.
Everyday thoughts go through my head; since I can’t write them down, get them from there to here, they stay in my head.
In my skull thoughts get crowded. They swirl around until they form a primordial mélange. Working nights leaves me constantly sleepy. After work, in the morning, I care for my puppy; dose myself with my drugs; stick myself in the belly with insulin needles; answer as many emails as I can (more for my puppy than myself – it’s more important that the kids know she, my puppy, is fine and swaggering); look for another job; deal with things I have to deal with and then fall into disturbed and anxious sleep.
I toss and jumble myself while trying to rest. And the thoughts settle into their confused sparking mélange and the past stays merged with the present.
The job in the Quasi-Casino has disrupted the undemanding plan for my life. Survival; traded my life plan for survival. We have to do that too much.

There are things I can’t forget that need remembering.

I was walking with my puppy in the dark, before work, on a warm and windless night, when we heard a strange noise. Can’t describe it. It wasn’t noise it was just a sound, a vibration in the ground. Then by street lamp and moonlight we watched a 35 foot tree snap off the trunk 8 feet off the ground and crash to earth.
My puppy and I were enchanted. The owner of the tree’s backyard came running out. Ruined a bit of Betty Page by William George

Click images for desktop size: “Betty Page” by William George
the atmosphere. All I remember about our conversation is that he said “wow” a lot.

It was time for my puppy’s annual physical. She was fine. The vet gives you a little sheet detailing all the various tests and things. At the bottom Dr K wrote, “She IS great!” with “is” double underlined.
My puppy is always so happy. She makes me happy even when she repeats her same old jokes a dozen times a day.
There was a fairly recent report revisiting the intelligence of dogs. They now figure dogs can remember over 250 words and have a general intellect comparable to a human 3 year old.
That’s easy to accept. A combination of better testing techniques, evolution and better breeding practices.
The AKC used to start their description of Belgian Shepherds with the unequivacable statement, “the Experiment in Terror most intelligent breed.”
Politics costs Belgians that statement, but politics can’t take away their dark chimp like eyes and unyielding affections.
My puppy loves her kong. That’s a hard rubber toy. Two years ago my puppy lost her kong in a snow drift. My puppy loves her kong; not any kong only her kong.
There was a snowstorm recently. At the height of the storm my Lucille Ball

Click images for desktop size: “Lucille Ball”
puppy got frantic. She insisted on going out. She ran to a pile of snow, dug for a minute and came out of the hole with her kong in her mouth. She trotted inside, giving me the eye as she brought her outside toy to the inside. It had to be inside, she had to know it was safe.
What impresses me is that she pulled an event from 2 years ago; saw it as a problem and came up with a solution.

Went to the doctor. Part of my heart is dead. Not the part that hates or the part that loves.
Got the bill for my emergency room visit: 20 minutes – $4,780. Yeah.
We don’t need health care reform. Hospitals are as trustworthy as Wall Street Banks.

I saw one of the best pro “rasslin'” matches ever recently. On this alternative show, “Ring of Honor.”
The show is cool. Kind of gritty, kind of cheap and highly entertaining. It’s not as comic book-y or stupid as the generic WWE bizzaro world.
ROH does less talking and more yelling. They play the little dramas faster and with more intensity.
In the last WWE show they talked for 30 minutes before the first match started.
Jack Kirby

Click images for desktop size: “The Mighty Thor” by Jack Kirby
The ROH match that blew me away was The American Wolves vs The Young Bucks.
it was great. In its best moments it was as exhilarating as Chan Cheh Venoms movie with bodies flying through the air at breathtaking speed and landing and launching from impossible angles. It wasn’t the sophomoric soap opera slowed down treacle sports entertainment, it was four guys pretending to beat each other up really really well. It was sweat infused art.

Some where around here I got married. It was actually March 17. The date had no significance to me before. All I did was agree to it.
There was no big decision for me. The only thoughtful part was being certain I wasn’t marrying to have someone put roses on my grave.
The ceremony was okay. There were good dogs in attendance. My wife got all the dogs sparkly Dracula Sucks green bow ties. All the dogs kept them on, even my puppy. Gentle Dog started to lead a cheer during the vows and my puppy who was circling the altar had to go tell him to shut up until it was time and then we all had to whistle and stomp our feet. I liked their participation plenty.
The food was good if a bit too vegetarian for my puppy and me. But it was good. Good music. Good friends etc.
My new “mother-in-law” said something that made me bristle. She’s always been obnoxious and rude to me. I don’t care much about that. I tend to just ignore her, but she said one of the nastiest things I’ve ever heard at a wedding to my wife. I still feel like snarling every time I think of it. Her attitude explains a lot.
We got lost returning from the wedding. It bodes well that we got out of it with no big hassle and that dogs kept sleeping quiet in the back.
We did a second wedding the next day. It was out in the woods by a rushing stream. The first “legal: wedding was done by an okay Methodist minister who kept to his own wedding agenda. In this one we got to spout off a lot more. My wife said a lot of pretty words. I kept watching Giant Dog start to amble down the stream. When it was my turn I said my words from memory until Giant Dog got himself into trouble, so then had to stop everything and resuce him until he decided that was good fun and proceeded on a faster clip to get himself into trouble again . . .
I still liked the second wedding better.
It was sad when they left. Even my puppy was sad.

I’ll be sorry but I don’t care

Haiko On Hanami by April Joy E Jasmin

Click images for desktop size: “Haiku On Hanami” by April Joy E Jasmin
My mother used to be terrified that she, being only fifteen years older than me and divorced, was going to deprive me and traumatize me. The only book, the only resource for new mothers then was Delinquent Schoolgirls Doctor Spock. She couldn’t go to her mother for advice. My grandmother hadn’t talked to her since my mother’s divorce. So my mother fumbled around and did the best she could figure out.
Sometimes this entailed taking me to work with her. When she was working at the concession counter at the drive-in movie theater going with her was very cool. I would sit at a picnic table on a concrete slab by the projection booth, right next to a blaring metal loud speaker and float into the movies while my mom’s teen co-workers inundated me with sugar-y soda, popcorn and ice cream.
It was in that state that I first saw “Godzilla”. A warm California night, the sea breeze and eucalyptus scenting the air and sixty feet of city munching reptile destroying everything adults hold dear. Perhaps my still holding love affair with Japanese jidai-geki movies has more to do with remembering a mother’s love than it does my fondness for giant lizards and men in rubber suits. I wouldn’t know. I’m more Adlerian than Freudian.
I liked monster movies. So did my mother but she worried so her next big plan to keep me from being deprived was a subscription to The Children’s Book Club.
This was some weird thing, probably from an ad in “Teen Mom’s Weekly”. For fifty nine cents a copy your child, meaning me, got a hard cover classic of children’s literature.
They were cheaply printed things. Thing I remember most were the super ragged edges of the pages. But I liked the books. I liked the stories in them. Classics is a pretty broad term. There were Hardy Boys stories, strange science fiction and “Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland”. I really liked that book at age 7. I liked the pictures and I liked the horrible things that happened to the little girl.
Purple Vectors

Click images for desktop size: “Purple Vectors” by Unknown
At that stage of my life torturing little girls was a major part of my entertainment. Not real torture but stuff like dropping snails down their backs, stealing the heads from their dolls. Typical stuff. The one girl who thought it was cool and fought back instead of shrieking and threatening to tell on me became a life long friend.
So I liked that all the animals yelled at Alice, picked on her and tormented her. It kept my interest up.
I read that book and re-read it then got on with surfing, torturing little girls etc. In high school someone gave me a copy of Martin Gardener’s “The Annotated Alice”. I don’t remember who. It took me a long time before I started reading it. When I did start to get into it I was enthralled. It started my trek into Lewis Carroll fandom.
I recently got a copy of Jenny Woolf’s new book, “The Mystery of Lewis Carroll”. It’s a bit dry but it attempts to debunk some of the more bizarre suppositions about Charles Dodgson like that he wasThe Deadly Mantis actually Jack the Ripper. It also attempts to tackle the issue of his being a pedophile. That has always driven me crazy. I’ve read some persuasive arguments for it being so and I’ve tried to accept that he was a pedophile who never actually improperly touched or harmed a child.
That goes against my knowledge of pedophiles. When I took my training to help abused kids part of it was attending group therapy sessions and listening to child abusers. I think the plan was to get us trainees to have some compassion and empathy for the offensive Audrey Hepburn

Click images for desktop size: “Audrey Hepburn”
offenders.
It didn’t have any such effect. I have been alone with thrill killers, reputed Mafia hitmen, drug addicts, prostitutes and movie stars. At some level I’ve always felt a bond of humanity. Sometimes it was tenuous and difficult but it was always still there.
Prior to my meeting the child abusers the group I felt most distant from were the hard core crack addicts. They were so lizard brained that any cloudy memory they had of being human was only called on to try and manipulate.
Child abusers, the ultimate victimizers, didn’t have even that. To me they were an alien insect race that would be best served with a claw hammer and a room draped in plastic.
They have no control over their actions. They must abuse. So sordid and ingrained is their delusion that they speak often and in agreement that children are sexual seducers who lure them into the abusers horrific attacks and fantasies.
The thing is that they were all like this, all out of control. Even chemical and physical castration has not deterred child molesters from attacking children.
No matter how convincing the arguments it was hard, nearly impossible for me to put Dodgson in Rise on an Angel by Titusboy

Click images for desktop size: “Rise on an Angel” by Titusboy
this category, this misshapen lump. I could not even accept that he was a pedophile who had somehow managed to NOT harm children.
Ms Woolf’s book tries to address this issue while presenting an image of Carroll full and deep. She uses a few newly discovered letters, gets some interesting interpretations of available data from MD’s and such and uses a unique and solid bit of hard evidence.
She uses forensic accounting. Recently discovered are the complete bank records for Dodgson. From the first penny he spent till the decimation of his estate at his death. Financial records.
It seems odd. But so did bringing down Al Capone’s empire based on his financial records. It paints a picture of Carroll and Dodgson that I am much more in agreement with that any other previous. Meaning it jibes most closely to my own perceptions of a major part of my pantheontology.
Woolf’s writing style is a bit dry and prosaic but her observations are keen, her conclusions are onlyDevil Girl From Mars pedantic when strongly supported by evidence. It makes a good read and provides at least for the fans, which I am, a nice amount of dream time considering Dodgson/Carroll. My only complaint is that a bit too many words are spent rejecting some of the more inane conclusions about Dodgson.

I went for my stress tests on Wednesday. Interesting stuff. They made the mistake of leaving me alone in a room too long. I found a remarkable plastic model of a heart. It was dumped behind some boxes in a cupboard. I coveted it and considered stealing it. I didn’t. Not because of any high handed moral arguments or out of fear but because it occurred to me that it might only appear to be discarded and might be of service to some other poor slob stuck in my kind of hell.
The stress tests themselves were not all that difficult. The first one was on a treadmill. I was out fitted with all the ekg terminals and an x-ray machine was pointed at my chest.
Wally Wood

Click images for desktop size: “Untitled” by Wally Wood
It was hard getting my pulse over 100. Not that I’m that fit but because the treadmill didn’t offer up enough resistance and I was ordered to not bend over too much to accelerate so that the x-rays would hit the right spot.
After that we went to the stair masters. Due to my chemotherapy history they eschewed x-rays. Didn’t want to blast me with too much radiation in case I turned into a super hero I bet. So this time I climbed the unending staircase and was monitored by electrodes and sound waves. I could see the sonogram as I worked out. It was so incredibly cool looking at my heart beat. In motion I was trying to control it and make it do interesting things. That got me yelled at.
Don’t have all the results yet but what there is is good. My heart has healed. There are abnormalities but they have to be looked for rather than appearing as distorted lines and squibbles.
My vitals are all good. they doubled my blood pressure meds. Rah. My BP was 120 over 60, but they decided they want it even lower! Part of this is due to the congestive heart failure I had with theDouble Indemnity Lyrica. Then my BP was hovering around 190 over 80 due to all the fluid in my chest compressing everything. Getting my standard BP even lower will enable me to endure a real congestive heart attack (that’s what killed my grandmother when she was 98 . . .) They said I was on an extremely minmal dosage anyway and this would still have me below average.
Now I just wait for the rest of the results and the fitness and fury.
Just wanted to mention my puppy. She’s continued to be wonderful. She’s crazy and calm by turns. When I’m feeling more under the weather than usual she’s protective. When I’m feeling better she’s bossy and obnoxious, demanding her way. She’s my friend.
She’s been on a diet. She hates it. But we went to the pet store yesterday and she has lost nearly TWO POUNDS! Bringing her weight down to 71! Only six more pounds to go till she is her ideal weight!
She could care less about ideal weight. She’d rather have ice cream at all of her meals.

I like onery old cusses. I hope to live long enough to be one. Paul Fix

Styling Spaceport It was a beautiful day here yesterday. More so because I go my ebike up, fixed and running. It needs tuning and oiling but its running. Its beautiful. I took it around a long block and it felt as peaceful as my first solo drive in my first car.

Die You Zombie Bastards! When I came back I played with my dogs. We had our usual fun. What was notable is that for the first time since the move my puppy mouthed me three or four times. She hadn’t done that since we moved nearly a year ago.
That pleased me and made my heart a little larger.
Then watched some football.
The most notable thing that I see is my old saw still proves true. 1A schools that insist on scheduling 1AA schools should be knocked out of consideration for BCS bowl consideration.
Ohio State has a long history of running one of the lowest regarded academic programs in the country. They train professional football players and seem to have little concern for them beyond winning on the field.
This is not a knock on the players at OSU. They are a talented group with much to be proud of. It is a knock on the coaching staff and the athletic department and the athletics department’s PR group.
That OSU goes to back to back BCS Championship Bowls and is an absolute disgrace in each of them in a damning testimony that the only thing working well in their administration is their PR department that hustles hard to impress the voters.
When they made the deal to play USC a simple check of the calendar let them know that this would be the weakest time to schedule the Trojans. The scheduling was all to their advantage. That’s the Big Ten way.
I can hear them snickering to themselves calculating how many starters they’d have returning and how many freshmen their seniors would be facing.
Then to insure success they schedule a 1AA opponent as an opening day “scrimmage”. Then they follow Dragon Lady that with a slightly more difficult opponent: a lightly regarded school from the lightly regarded MAC. You know that they had it all figured out; two in effect “exhibition games” would have them all tuned and ready to destroy the Trojans.
Except the kids from the little school rose up and put on a dazzling display. Its too bad they couldn’t keep playing over their heads well into the fourth quarter. It was an impressive display that needs applause.
To be the best you have to play the best. To improve you have to play someone better than yourself.
The Buckeyes at least got a wake up call. I figure they’ll be ready for the Trojans. I hope so.
I also note that over priced, over hyped and over weight Charlie Weiss has done a great job for the Fighting Irish. Last year he made them the worst team in the country. Edge Of Hell This year he appears to have led them to the very brink of mediocrity.
Chuck Long and San Diego State made an impressive try against them on the road. It came down to some pretty pathetic officiating (It still think the football crossed the plane on the fumble instead of a touchdown that turned the game around).
I want Notre Dame back in the elite so I can fool good about hating them!
The NFL goes full swing today. I plan to watch every game I can get here. Yesterdays college schedule was supposedly not very interesting. I thought it was great and fascinating. East Carolina looking deadly. The SEC getting beaten again when they go outside the conference. Georgia trying the OSU scheduling mode to try and win the National Championship. Stanford standing proud and testy. So many stories, so many kids playing their hearts out.
Its a wonderful time of the year.
On Monday I’m making a hard pitch to volunteer at a local high school. I’m going to flash the credentials and everything.

Remember just getting by is okay too

Hardcore Hentai by Anonymous
Click images for desktop size: “Hardcore Hentai” by Anonymous
Just a day.
I miss the snow. I was getting used to it. It all melted and now everything looks just normal. That doesn’t do me much good.
Modesty Blaise I do seem to be able to avoid falling down quite a bit easier but thats not much off a fair exchange.
Feeling like I was walking in some new alien world everyday was worth the nicks and bruises.
My broken toe is healing. Its a nice mottled purple today. The blackness has retreated. It hurts some but I can walk. My biggest fear is not being able to walk. I guess it equates to most people’s fears of their car breaking down.
As long as my puppy and I can walk I figure we can get anywhere . . . eventually.

ecto, the blogging/posting tool I like is up to beta 20!
Its improving and I almost trust it. Its amazing how many words this app has flushed down the toilet. I doubt if it was ever a loss.
Being a beta tester has a lot of pluses. I’m learning a lot of the power of this tool. Its all simple stuff, but its stuff I probably wouldn’t have ever used. I still don’t use most of what it offers. I don’t need most of that kind of power.
I just like it to help me do the layout, and keep everything from being repetitive xhtml coding. It is doing that okay so far. That makes me happy.

I took my puppy and the big dog who broke my toe for a walk to the store today. I was limping and when you show a big dog a sign of weakness . . .
Having good traction disrupted most of his plans for me.
We met a Belgian Sheepdog mix in the neighborhood. She was being walked by an older woman and we were both excited to meet another black dog face to face! My puppy was prettier . . .
Pretense Of Innocence By Mo
Click images for desktop size: “Pretense Of Innocence” by Mo
I like meeting friendly people with friendlier dogs.
At the store I tied the dogs to a bicycle rack, which was tired to a concrete filled 3x3x4 metal box. I took 2 steps away and the big dog decided I was abandoning him. I turned in time to catch the bike rack at my chest and to kick the metal box away before it hit a parked van.
Of course I kicked it away with the foot with the broken toe.
A bystander said, “Hey, you’re pretty fast! Good job!” Turns out it was his van.
I got everything put back in place while holding on to both dogs. I then found a nearby tree and tied them to that. Another bystander said, I hope jokingly, “Do you think that’s strong enough to hold him?”

Other than that its just been a day like any other.
Did watch a movie. Ben Affleck’s “Gone Baby Gone”.
La Prisonnivre I tend not to like Ben Affleck. No reason. The main reason, I think, is that I confuse him with Ben Stiller who I have a strong dislike for.
When I get them straight in my head Affleck reminds me of this guy I know, Kevin.
Kevin worked for me, he was a big burly good looking guy. Quiet in a brutish kind of way but affable enough and not given to a lot of talking.
One day he gave me a nicely offset printed magazine. It was a poetry magazine and he edited and printed it himself.
“None of my junk’s in there. Nothing good enough for this issue,” was all he said when he sort of jammed it at me.
I liked it. A couple of them I still remember. I told him this and he just grunted at me and never mentioned it again. There was just always a new issue in my mail box.
Anyway Affleck’s movie is pretty good. Its too complicated about Boston and child molesters and baby stealing. Dark stuff. Handled darkly.
Everything is intro’d nicely. The acting is all very good. particularly Ed HArris and, of course, Morgan Freeman. But then the plot gets so complicated and twisty that I couldn’t figure out what the movie was trying to say, if anything.

More things than heaven allows

Spiral Nebula

Click images for desktop size: “Spiral Nebula” by NASA
To bring all the pages into xhtml compliance I’ve had to go through and edit most of the old posts. I had to correct a lot of mistakes.
Some of the errors were caused by the import. Most of them were caused because I didn’t know what I was doing.
I’m a slow learner.
Los Olivados Going back through them, of course I had to re-read bits and pieces.
Boy, it makes my life seem miserable.
It makes it sound like my only bright spot is my puppy.
My little puppy is the bright spot in my life but my life is not all that grim. I’m fairly certain it hasn’t been.
There’s been my share of tragedy, personal hardship and squalor. The squalor sticks in my mind deeper than most traumas.
There have been bright spots. Many.
I recall them as moments of sunshine glistening off of lawns, off of fields of snow, off of little fur.
I remember hearing from people who have touched my life, telling me how I touched them.
I sure remember laughing a lot more than I read about.
I didn’t write enough, or remember at the time the people who’ve been a small part of my life. The people who’ve come into my life with the greatest gifts, conversation and understanding and the stories of how they make it from day to day.
As I fixed the errors in the code I made certain not to change anything. Not to delete anything. Not to rewrite the past to fit the present or make for a safer future.
I wanted to at times. I wanted to correct my amazing amount of typos so I would look quite so not dumb maybe. I just neatened up the code.
I wanted to put in big sections like “Life was horrid.” BUT A LITTLE GIRL OFFERED ME A BITE OF HER SANDWICH. Or “Man, this stinks.” BUT THAT AFTERNOON A TOOTHLESS WOMAN SMILED AT ME AND TOLD ME A JOKE IN SPANISH.
The Bandits Theme By J3 Concepts

Click images for desktop size: “The Bandit’s Theme” by J3 Concepts
I’m glad I’m keeping a journal. It makes it easier to remember not only what’s been written but to remember what I’ve nearly forgotten. Things that shouldn’t be forgotten because those things are always about people.
It reminds me to do things now that I should have done even then. Not big things, but all the little things we always forget. Because our lives are too important to ourselves and we think we have to protect ourselves in the clinches. I write too much about puppies. Then I think I should have written more.
I don’t write enough about my friend. I know the reason why and I don’t care for it but I know its out of my control. The crazies and the vengeful.
The Man Who Turned To Stone I’m glad this thing is public. It helps keeps me ruthless in examining myself. Knowing there’s always someone out there willing to correct a lapse in memory.
I’m glad its public because it’s like, well, I used to explain to guys that sometimes when an old friend, ex-friend calls you in the middle of the night its not to re-kindle some smoldering romance. Its because, when two people get close and expose each others soul to the other its a closeness people can’t ever escape or regret. Sometimes there’s a concern, sometimes the concern is born of a nightmare or a song on the radio.
All they want to know is that your not dead and that part of each other that burned for a while is truly immortal, that part the two of you shared.
This does that for me. Quietly and invisibly. Transparently.

The other things I read was all about football, and I realized I sure don’t know much about making NFL picks!
When I read some of the things I said about teams in the past . . . it was embarrassing.
I would never make a good psychic.
Like I only got 3 picks right out of 4 this weekend. Which fits my 80% average okay. Its just that my reasoning is sometimes . . . stupid.
I’ll keep making those stupid assertions though because one day I’ll be right. Odds say I have to be.

Its hard to find from here

Applicants by Luke Fildes
Click images for desktop size: “Applicants For Admission To Casual Ward” by Luke Fildes
Went out with the dogs today.
Bitter cold. Plenty of snow to cover the ice.
I fell while carrying the little blind dog over a section of salty slush that was hurting his feet. I twisted to make sure i didn’t crush him. That was the only image I kept while I was falling. I managed to avoid doing that so I torqued my back.
All Quiet On The Western Front The little guy didn’t think anything of the fall. I guess when you’re small and blind getting whooshed around must seem like a normal state of affairs.
My puppy was very solicitous. She tried to lick me and actually walked with me for a few hundred yards. Normally she likes to ride point and bark at any dangerous leaves or squirrels.
We finished the walk and our few chores just tromping through the snow and telling each other dog jokes.
When I got home my back started to hurt pretty badly. The kind where the pain is vomit inducing, a bilious green pain.
I did my exercises. I’ll sleep on the floor tonight and hope it will be better in the morning.
The good news is that my blood levels are responding as expected to finally having my drugs. This is good because it delays the inevitable of having to go on insulin or worse.

I’m watching the Fiesta Bowl.
West Virginia is winning my heart with the way they’re playing. After being so nastily rejected by their coach they could have just rolled over. Instead they’re playing like spurned lovers or step children getting back at their parents.
Its the oddest thing, emotions for an athlete. You want your D-line psyched and crazy. Screaming for blood. You need your secondary psyched but right on the edge so that they not only react reflexively but also have no haze so they can read and decipher their opponents movements.
Dashboard
Click images for desktop size: “Dashboard”
Line backers and offense have to be cool, intelligent. Time has to move slowly for them. Adrenalin has to be used in a different way – shut down and recalled when needed.
Its a hard balance for a coach to keep in his team. Its hard to recognize it in a player sometimes. Harder to teach.
Right now I’d say that this interim coach has done a superb job in all facets of the game.

We’re alone now.
My puppies and me.
We’re fine. My friend is off on her dream job. And that’s comforting.
I often feel alone but I can’t think of a time when I’ve ever felt lonely.
I wonder if that’s a character defect.

Captain Midnight The insane hit count searching for the Captain America picture continues. Its interesting how many of the searches are from government offices, federal, state and local; even quite a few military. I’ve no idea what sparked this level of interest in the character. I thought it was the announcement of the movie but that doesn’t seem to justify that much activity.
The ultra positive is how well the new hosting service is handling the load.
They’re a relatively big host and I had concerns about them being so big and the level of service. this is winning me over pretty completely.
Also pleased with the way Movable Type is handling the references from the old WordPress script. If people would look a touch harder they’d find what they’re looking for.

Back to the game for all of us.

There’s just a little less of me

Wild Horse

Click images for desktop size: “Wild Horse” by Abogado
My puppy graduated from Level Two Obedience class.
I was surprised. She never did First Level Obedience. She never showed much interest in Obedience at all. Jut the sort of obedience that keeps us both happy, not the fancy heel exactly this way style of obedience for sure!
Date Bait I honestly didn’t fully expect her to even pass. So when she was made “class valedictorian I was stunned to the point of having nothing to do but feel conceited.
I am always surprised at what my little dog will do to please me.
This follows on the heels of good news/bad news from my puppy;s family.
Her litter mate went to a big dog show cross country. That alone would have been infinitely cool, but the big shock was she won best of breed (Opposite sex . . . somehow that just seems wrong, why not best female?) and Best Bred By Exhibitor.
For some reason this flushes with me with pride. I don’t know why but it does.
The bad news is that, like in people, cancer in dogs seems to be genetic. Hank, one of the coolest dogs I’ve ever known, died this year from cancer.
To me it was tragic.
Now it seems one of his offspring has the same disease.
I hate that.
Dogs are natural born battlers and can handle the disease better than most people. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt or that the battle is any easier.
The bright spot is that she appears to be taking the chemo well and responding. Maybe she’ll go into remission.
The dog is taking an oral chemo, similar to the one I had to take. I know how it made my body feel.
I feel sorry for her and am glad she wouldn’t know what to do with pity. She’d probably prefer it if I rubbed her tummy or tried to take this stick away from her.

Autumn Rice by Vargas

Click images for desktop size: “Autumn Rice” by Vargas
On football this week I was a mediocre 11-5. Oddly for a while I was in first place! But some one went 16-0!I can’t imagine anyone getting all those bizarre last week games right, but they did.
I gave up on my theory that the fix was in . . .
The NFC Playoffs wild card week appears to be a big thudding dud . . .

On my health front . . . I’ve been passing out.
I hate that. Its just like falling into a black hole. I get no rest and feel even more fatigued when I come to.
I’m not sure what to do about it. I can’t will myself conscious until sleep. I just sit and pass out.
Irksome.
Dinosaurus I’m responding as expected to the drugs. My levels are all slowly balancing out.
I’ll survive much more than this.
As usual my Blood pressure and cholesterol levels are all aces and I have at least gone through the added discomfort of the flu shot.
And the flu shot discomfort is a lot less painful than the flu!
There wasn’t much more time left in the day.
I filled it by messing with the code on the site.
I decided that there aren’t that many people who use the rss feeds. Its been a major amount of work coding everything to look good in the feeds – floating pictures etc. So i’ve gone to just using css classes to do some of the layout work.
I hope this doesn’t distress anyone. It makes me feel a bit lazy.
I’ve also added in a Tag feature, where you can search for all other entries with the same tag at the bottom of the post.
It won’t make much sense until there are tons of tagged posts, and I can’t imagine why anyone would want to do such a thing, but it was fun trying to make it work.

Could I Just Take A Break Here?

Rabbits

Click images for desktop size: “Rabbits” by Unknown
Feeling awfully sick.
Finally got my meds. I was too long without them. Blood sugars over 24, which is close to diabetic coma.
I hate being reminded how sick I am.
Taking the meds and now. My body is readapting to them. Its harsh. Magnifies a lot of the other pain.
The Cabinet Of Dr Caligari I have to remind myself that all of that is compounded further because I had a flu shot.
But dogs and friends kept most of that away.
Its only now, when I’m alone at dark night, that I feel how utterly horrid I feel.
The good thing is I got three months supply.

The college bowl season has been dreary enough to make the bright spots gleam even brighter.
Nothing could beat seeing Tom Brady, Randy Moss and the New England Patriots make history tonight. If there’s any justice they’ll continue on to the Super Bowl.
I was impressed with Brady’s after game speech. I was more impressed that when he completed the TD pass to Moss to set a personal record of 52 TD’s in a year, he was signaling not 52 but 22, which is the record number of TD catches Randy Moss made on the same pass.
That the ref’s threw a flag for “Group Celebration” which led to the Giants TD is asinine and indicative of what’s wrong with the NFL.

I’ve changed some of my picks and might change them up until the cut off time, as info creeps through about who’ll be playing and who’ll be sitting down for some of the meaningless games and the not so meaningless ones.
Crazy season.
Crazy sport.
Red Rain

Click images for desktop size: “Red Rain” by Lyle Krannechfield
Its my friends birthday tomorrow; today really. And its my puppy’s level 2 Obedience Graduation.
I hope I feel better for both their sakes!
I don’t know how my puppy will do. Don’t really care except for old competitive urges and pride.

I put up a movie on my puppy’s site today.
It was hard getting it to stream from my site but I idi it.
I’m proud of that. I wanted it to look good for the kids. My initial design was minorly flawed so it had to be very HQ to read the scrawly writing. And YouTube made i so you could barely see any of the faces.
I like faces, my friend’s faces and my dogs’ faces.
I’m off to sleep now. I hope I can instead of just passing out. No rest in passing out.

They’re up here because they believe Vince Lombardi

A Christmas Carol - 2004

Click images for desktop size: “A Christmas Carol – Christmas Card 2004”
We went for a walk today.
Strike that.
We started out for a walk today when the largest dog managed to escape out the gate.
He refused to come when called so I had to chase him, except I still had my puppy and the little blind dog with me. All 3 of us ran after the big dog. We were game but the little one wore out. I had to scoop him up and carry him.
Bambi 1942 We had a bout a 10 minute chase with a couple of close calls but no damage done except to my temper. Until we got home and I realized that making the little blind boy run, even for only 50 yards was too tough on his cardio. He recovered but it was nerve racking for a while there. None of which improved my temper with the big guy. I got even though. I gave the big guy 5 grams less ice cream then everyone else got tonight!
We all have our own forms of discipline.

One of the purposes for the walk, other than health . . . was to ponder this weeks NFL games in the weekend of the “Silent Night”. Most of the games are, well, dogs! It makes them harder to pick as fewer teams have any reason to try. Its the holidays for them too and no matter how professional an athlete is its unique for a man to go out and want to destroy his brother in this time of peace when there is nothing to be gained for it but some weak pride.
I think they’ll all play to their abilities, for the most part, but there’ll be a fine edge that’s lacking which makes thing unpredictable. Then there’ll be some rookies getting some major game time and they’ll either collapse or explode with heart and enthusiasm. I think that this week is mainly guesswork and tossing a two headed coin.
As usual my picks are in bold.

Pittsburgh at St Louis – This ones already played. The Steelers won. I picked them but it was with no heart. The Steelers are not very good and I’d expect them not to go deep in the playoffs.

Dallas at Carolina – This is good medicine for the Cowboys who are not looking all that dominant at the moment. The Panthers are feeling a bit confident after their upset win last week but they don’t match up well enough against Dallas to have much of a chance. The score is Cowboys up 17-10 as I write this. This says more about the Cowboys in the playoffs then anything else.
Silver Bell 2006

Click images for desktop size: “Silver Bell – Christmas Card 2006”
Cleveland at Cincinnati – My heart ays pick the Bengals. My heart starves a lot. I’d like to see them get it together and stick it to the Browns but its the equation. The Browns are chasing the Steelers for the Division Championship. They’re not used to winning. The Bengals have nothing to win or lose except pride. A lot of their players have enough pride and talent to carry them but the attitude is hard to guess. Remember a few years ago when Chad Johnson scored a TD in week 16? He scored and ran to a pylon where he had a giant Christmas Stocking stashed, he opened it and started throwing gifts to the fans. I liked that a lot. They got to the play offs that year too . . .

Green Bay at Chicago – Last week the Bears were almost as embarrassing as the Vikings. They looked terrible, the Vikings only slightly less terrible. Bret Favre is still Bret Favre and want the home field advantage. He’s been there before and looks like a team of destiny. The Bears look like a team trying to remember how to play the game.
Batman
Houston at Indianapolis – This is one of those games where, if your a home town fan you might care. There’s almost nothing of real interest here except wondering how the Colts will handle Mario Williams.

Kansas City at Detroit – There’s a tremendous sadness in this game. Two teams who back in August looked at the world with bright eyes and expectant determination. The Lions looked ready to exorcise their demons. The Chiefs looked like well, they wee hopeful. This is one of the least important games of the weekend and its sad that it should be so.

New York Giants at Buffalo – The Giants look like a team willing to stumble into the playoffs expending minimal effort. The Bills aren’t quite out of it but are playing for something, like a dying city and a teammate who most thought, a few months ago, might be better off dead. The Giants are a slight favorite! Go Bills.

Oakland at Jacksonville – The only question I see here is whether the Jaguars can keep the score down. They have fire in their eyes and are not foolish enough to let that fire get away from them. The Raiders still have those snazzy uniforms.

Pattern Of Presents

Click images for desktop size: “Pattern Of Present ” by Unknown
Philadelphia at New Orleans – This is actually the game of the week. Sort of by default. As in most of the other games are sort of cruddy. Both teams have a little to play for. The Saints aren’t eliminated form the play offs . . . yet. The Eagles want to put together back to back strong games for contract time. I’m taking the Saints because of Dru Brees and home field.

Tampa Bay at San Francisco – At first blush a cruddy game of the week contender. But Frank Gore looked good for the 49ers last week. And, like it or not, the Buc’s are division champions. I don’t think Gore can repeat his performance against this defense, without him the 49er’s don’t have much.

Atlanta at Arizona – Here is the cruddy game of the week . . . well, both teams will show up and they both have well tailored uniforms . . . the Falcons’ gear is a bit prettier in my opinion. The Cardinals stuff seems to actually wrinkle and bunch up a lot . . .
Beatles Come To Town
Baltimore at Seattle – The Ravens beautiful performance against the Patriots was sure a one off. Seattle are trying to figure out how to win with less of a running game than even the Packers! And Hasslebeck is no Bret Favre! Still at home the Seahawks should win.

New York Jets at Tennessee – The Titans are struggling for a play off shot. They deserve it even with some bone head coaching they’ve shown fire and grit. The Jets have shown they are core losers. I’m only glad Eric Maginini doesn’t own Wilson (so he can’t take the ball and run home.)

Miami at New England – Now that the Dolphins actually won a game the glitter is off of this one. The weather will be poor but not so bad that Tom Brady can’t get back to throwing a few TD’s. I don’t see anyone on the Dolphins who can stop him so they must be praying for a freak blizzard.

Denver at San Diego – So the Chargers managed to stick one last week. They have already won my award for most disappointing team this season, even more disappointing than the Bears! (I mean who really thought the Bears would repeat this year with all their off season insane arrogant moves). he Broncos are in a tail spin but might find the weather nice enough to put forth a little effort.

Washington at Minnesota – My runner up game of the week. Two teams who (to the NFC’s embarrassment) are in the wild card chase. The Redskins looked bad last week. The Vikings looked abominable except for Adrian Peterson. I’ll go with a guy who can turn a busted play into a TD any time.

As usual my picks are for entertainment purposes only. Although if you die laughing I will not be held responsible.

And if you hadn’t noticed: Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings, Happy Kwanzaa. And Peace on Earth, please.

If you can hear this

Merry Christmas If you’re reading this it means that you’re at the new hosting site and your name servers have migrated!
I was looking at the old traffic meter I kept and it’s apparent that the old host had been dying for months and months.
Here everything just feels zippy!
I’m glad you found us again . . .
Comic Cavalcade Today was just a day of waiting. Me: I waited for the old Registrar to release the domain name. My friend had a bit more difficult time. She was waiting for her dream job to call.
No real reason to expect them to, except that each of her references would call her after they spoke to her dream job and they indicated they would probably make a job offer today.
No phone call.
She (and I for that matter) would be disappointed but would accept not hearing from them. I still stir up a lot of anger towards her jerk ex-employers. I have nothing but bad feelings towards them and it codifies all the bad I had felt about them previously only in a more grotesque gargantuan form.
There’s still tomorrow.

It was warmer today, which was justification to not finish all the snow shovelling . . . it justified it to me anyway.
My back is feeling about 90% right now but my right shoulder is cramping up.
We went for a walk, the blind puppy, my puppy and I. They rejoiced in the warmer weather and the sight of kids having snow ball fights and sliding around in the slush.
It felt like Christmas was really almost here.